How to forgive

[arunangelo]

Jesus was wounded for our transgressions, was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb, so he opened not his mouth (Isaiah 53: 5 &7). Furthermore, during his suffering and death he forgave his persecutors (Luke 23:34); and was concerned about the suffering that would come upon us rather than his own suffering (Luke 23:28). We too must love one another as he has loved us; quietly bear each other’s burdens; forgive without any limit and bind each other’s wounds.

 

[Davy]

Hi arunangelo: I Often hear similar comments about forgiveness like yours, by people who claim to understand Christianity. Quote--("forgive without any limit!")

Jesus did not say we should always be forgiving. Notice a striking difference between Jesus' two comments on forgiveness: In Matthew 18:21, 22, (NIV), Peter asked Jesus: "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Here Jesus is talking about a "freely forgiving spirit," a willingness to forgive and not hold grudges. But notice what Jesus said in Luke 17:3, 4, (NIV) "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him." Notice Jesus clearly stated, "IF HE REPENTS!" There is a clear difference between minor everyday sins that we should freely forgive, and more serious sins that need to be confronted and give help and counsel so that they can repent and gain forgiveness.

Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 12:31: (NIV)"Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." If someone commits a serious malicious, willful sin against you and thus against God's holy standards, and does not show any repentance, Jesus will not forgive them. So how can the innocent Christian, if they want to imitate Christs example? In fact the John refers to this very point in his first letter. 1 John 5:16, (NIV) says: "If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that." John makes a clear difference between those sins that will be forgiven, where the sinner is repentant; and those sins that will not be forgiven by Jesus and the innocent victim, because they are not repentant. Some Christians are uncomfortable with the notion of not forgiving people, because they fail to grasp the concept John highlights here, there are minor sins that warrant forgiveness, and sins that do not warrant forgiveness because they are very serious and the person in question is not repentant!

 

[Hekuran]

Hi Davy,

Respectfully, I think that arunangelo has this right. We should always take the life and death of Jesus as our standard. On the cross, Jesus cried "forgive them Father for they do not know what they are doing". Granted, they may not have understood that they were executing God's messiah, but no-one on that day could have been in any doubt that they were killing an innocent man.

Throughout the gospels - the semon on the mount, the parables, Jesus own actions and the pray he taught his disciples - "forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us" - the message is the same. I cannot think of any case where God's people are excused from the command to forgive.

The blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is in a separate category, and it is for God alone to judge if anyone has committed that sin. For us, whether the sin against us is trivial or grave, we are to hold out forgiveness. The kingdom of God is populated with a forgiven people, and we must live by that forgiveness.

 

[Hekuran]

Hi Davy,

Respectfully, I think that arunangelo has this right. We should always take the life and death of Jesus as our standard. On the cross, Jesus cried "forgive them Father for they do not know what they are doing". Granted, they may not have understood that they were executing God's messiah, but no-one on that day could have been in any doubt that they were killing an innocent man.

Throughout the gospels - the semon on the mount, the parables, Jesus own actions and the pray he taught his disciples - "forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us" - the message is the same. I cannot think of any case where God's people are excused from the command to forgive.

The blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is in a separate category, and it is for God alone to judge if anyone has committed that sin. For us, whether the sin against us is trivial or grave, we are to hold out forgiveness. The kingdom of God is populated with a forgiven people, and we must live by that forgiveness.

 

[Telma]

I can only speak from my experience and what I have been thought and that has made a great difference in my life.When I gave my life to Christ and learned that I was to forgive those that harm me I thought "Ok,if they ask my forgiveness I will forgive them".Thing is,that's not how it works.How will they ask my forgiveness if those that really have hurt me do not know and love God?
If I waited for them to repent and come asking for forgiveness I would continue to live with that hurt,resentement and bitterness for a long time.And I would be the only one hurt by that.When my eyes were opened to that by a loving brother I had to make the decision to stop waiting for a request for forgiveness and for some sort of fuzzy feeling of love and forgiveness to overtake me and to just forgive.To just release all that hurt and resentement over to God and to forgive and pray for them.It wasn't easy.Still isn't.
But God has forgiven me and who am I to deny forgiveness to others.
In God's eyes there are no big sins or little sins.

 

[Davy]

Hi Hekuran:

I appreciate your comments, however I am inclined to believe when Paul told the Corinthian congregation to expel from their midst an unrepentant serious sinner, which is refusing to forgive him, otherwise they would not have expelled him, there is a reason this has been put in the bible--for our instruction.

Firstly: Who are we to refuse to forgive serious unrepentant sinners? The same as those in the Corinthian congregation who had to put their fuzzy feeling to one side and put the cleanness and morality of their congregation first.

Secondly: If God in heaven inspires the apostle Paul to write his letter and instruct them to put this man out of the congregation. That is Almighty God's standards, which his earthly subjects should support and obey! After all God's grace or undeserved mercy with out repentance is just a license to sin.

Lots Of Love--Davy.

 

[Michael Snow]

There are clear instructions in the Bible about forgiveness. But there is also much confusion among Christians. The spirit of our times never ceases to work. But, Praise God, neither does His Holy Spirit. We need to read God's word with care, paying attention to context. A few quotes on forgiveness that look at some key aspects here. ....sorry cannot post that link.

 

[Hekuran]

Hi Davy,

I think you are referring to I Corinthians 5...

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”

This is a passage about church discipline and holiness. It's not about forgiveness.

To put it into practical terms, Paul mentions swindlers. If there is a person in my fellowship who is a persistent swindler - tax fraud, say - then Paul's advice to the Corinthians applies, that person should be expelled.

If somebody swindles me personally, though, then I ought to forgive them. That's the only action that would be consistent with Jesus' teaching. I probably would not do business with them any more, but I could not - in the light of God's grace and mercy to me - hold a grudge.

 

[Davy]

Hello Hekuran: It is wise not to trust a persistent swindler, but if you are a victim of such a person, does the bible indicate that you should forgive them?

As regards forgiving them, did Jesus really say we should be always forgiving? Although Jesus did say in Matthew 18:21, 22, that we should have a freely forgiving spirit and not hold grudges. Notice what Jesus says in Luke 17:3, 4, (NIV) "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him." Jesus clearly states, "IF HE REPENTS! then, forgive him" I believe these two scriptures highlight the degree of sins. If it is a minor sin, forgive them. But if it is a serious sin, they must be confronted and given the opportunity to repent or stop what they are doing and if unrepentant put out of the congregation.

Take a careful look at what Jesus says when he is judging the Thyatira congregations in Revelation 2:21-23. (NIV) Jesus says: "I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds."

Notice Jesus gives these clearly unrepentant ones time to repent, but if they do not repent, they will be repaid according to their deeds. Therefore, if they were not repentant Jesus would destroy them. If that is how Jesus is going to righteously judge them, who, is any human to undermine that perfect judgment and forgive them when Jesus refuses to???

 

[Hekuran]

Hello Hekuran: It is wise not to trust a persistent swindler, but if you are a victim of such a person, does the bible indicate that you should forgive them?

I think the Bible makes it very clear that we should forgive. Read the Sermon on the Mount. It's unmistakable.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.

That's Matthew 5. In the next chapter Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us. And he concludes the prayer “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Jesus does not seem to leave room for get-out clauses or mitigating circumstances. It is absolute.