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How to fight so everybody wins (2)
'Speaking the truth in love, we will...grow up.' Ephesians 4:15
The Bible talks about 'Speaking the truth in love'; yeah but how? Suppose a couple fall out with each other because he's always late. She could give him a piece of her mind and list off all of his faults, or give him the silent treatment, or give them both a chance to find a solution and try something like this: 'I feel frustrated....' No blame, no attack; just an honest expression of her own emotion. 'When you are late...' No judging, name-calling or labelling; just a concrete description of his action. 'It feels like the other things you are doing are more important than me...' No moralising; just honestly sharing her feelings. 'Please try to be on time, or call and let me know when you'll be here...' Instead of focusing on past actions he can't change, she's telling him what she'd like him to do differently next time.
'Do you mind doing that for me?' No demanding or taking for granted; just asking for consideration and cooperation. You might not have a "late boyfriend" it might be your parents, mates or people at work who keep doing stuff that winds you up. How can you go further than just speaking your mind but be honest without blaming and look for a solution not just a fight? Think about that and you will be closer speaking truth in love.
written by Bob Gass
'Speaking the truth in love, we will...grow up.' Ephesians 4:15
The Bible talks about 'Speaking the truth in love'; yeah but how? Suppose a couple fall out with each other because he's always late. She could give him a piece of her mind and list off all of his faults, or give him the silent treatment, or give them both a chance to find a solution and try something like this: 'I feel frustrated....' No blame, no attack; just an honest expression of her own emotion. 'When you are late...' No judging, name-calling or labelling; just a concrete description of his action. 'It feels like the other things you are doing are more important than me...' No moralising; just honestly sharing her feelings. 'Please try to be on time, or call and let me know when you'll be here...' Instead of focusing on past actions he can't change, she's telling him what she'd like him to do differently next time.
'Do you mind doing that for me?' No demanding or taking for granted; just asking for consideration and cooperation. You might not have a "late boyfriend" it might be your parents, mates or people at work who keep doing stuff that winds you up. How can you go further than just speaking your mind but be honest without blaming and look for a solution not just a fight? Think about that and you will be closer speaking truth in love.
written by Bob Gass