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How should I handle this

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Am a born again christian brother and havae been with with ma friends for a long time havent found new ones yet. most of the are not saved and thus I tend to sometimes feel strange around them after my salvation. I like them yes but they like going out to pubs and hengouts. Is it bad to accompany them yet I dont indulge in wat they do? OR should I avoid them coz they pple i knew in my past life and are there parmanently? pls share with me. am in a dilemma.
 
Member
Hi Maina,

So what do you do when 2 worlds collide? This is something we all face with our friends.
You need to find Christian friends at your Church, be involved in a Bible study to help meet people.
Don't give up your non Christian friends but do not join them in going to the bars and pubs. You have to set an example for them of who you are now and it will be tough. I encourage you to find Christians to fellowship with, it is very important for our walk with the Lord.
Michele
 
Member
I have been saved since 1996. Before that my husband and I used to consume alcohol daily and have constant company visiting us. When we gave our lives to Jesus, needless to say the friends stopped coming. We now have Christian friends but I still would like to go to the pubs and just sit there and wait for Jesus to point me out someone that is sitting there hurting and looking for a way out. Just like I was. God is strengthining me everyday and soon I will be able to do that.

Just remember if we only hung out with the saved friends we will not be able to minister to the ones that need Christ. My old friends still keep their eyes on my husband and I. And one day they will see something in us that they would like to have. And another soul will be won to Jesus. God Bless You
 
Member
In this I disagree with mymakersdaughter's opinion.

I believe that to have a lasting and impacting relationship with non-believers, we need to be able to relate to them on their own terms, withough comming across High and Mighty as if we've got our lives sorted out but they don't.
Let your life be the example, while at the same time showing that you don't need to drink or compromise your standards to have a good time with them. Show them that it's them you enjoy, not what they do.

Be there when they need you, encourage them, love them, pray for them.. but don't LEAVE THEM to themselves.. Half the reason the world is the way it is right now, is because not enough of us have a heart that bleeds for the lost enough to love them for who they are.
 
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Staff Member
I've been through the same exact thing. I basically do not see any of my old friends, I believe by GOD's will because it was for good reasons in the long run (no more drinking and smoking marijuana with friends, no more anger towards them for taking advantage of me for my money).

The best thing to do is simply put it all at the foot of the cross. Let GOD do His will and let your heart pour out to Him in Jesus' name. Dont' trust your own heart, Trust GOD's.
 
Member
Brother Maina,
I understand the delima you're facing. When we accepted Christ ALL things become new, including our thoughts, Amen? I must ask you this: Have you tried to help your friends get saved? If we reflect on Christ's life while He was here, we'll see that He sat & ate with sinners. He attended a wedding & turned the water to wine, etc. He did a lot of things which made the Cheif Priests frown down upon Him. But what was His MOTIVE? He was teaching & preaching the "Good News" to ALL. A fine example of changing our lives is also the Apostle Paul. Think about the difficulties he faced convincing other believers that he was there to teach them & not to kill them. Think of everything he had to leave & change to follow Christ. I still associate with some of my "old friends." But it is not by my choice, but by theirs. They all are aware of my new life & I believe that God convicts their hearts which makes them pull away from me. But I will always be there for them, & will continue to pray for their Salvation. But I am careful not to engage in anything that will jeapordize my relationship with Christ. I hope you find the answers you search for.
 
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Member
hi there u aadvise really touched me in some way and i do conqer with you it us to make them know that christ died for them. actually i havent been like that after u got saved i thot i shld not associate with wat was old to me but grasp the new and walk. literally thats how i took it instead of being the way thru which they wld maybe receive christ as saviour of their lives. thnx for this awaking may God bless you.
 
Member
calvinearl said:
Brother Maina,
I understand the delima you're facing. When we accepted Christ ALL things become new, including our thoughts, Amen? I must ask you this: Have you tried to help your friends get saved? If we reflect on Christ's life while He was here, we'll see that He sat & ate with sinners. He attended a wedding & turned the water to wine, etc. He did a lot of things which made the Cheif Priests frown down upon Him. But what was His MOTIVE? He was teaching & preaching the "Good News" to ALL. A fine example of changing our lives is also the Apostle Paul. Think about the difficulties he faced convincing other believers that he was there to teach them & not to kill them. Think of everything he had to leave & change to follow Christ. I still associate with some of my "old friends." But it is not by my choice, but by theirs. They all are aware of my new life & I believe that God convicts their hearts which makes them pull away from me. But I will always be there for them, & will continue to pray for their Salvation. But I am careful not to engage in anything that will jeapordize my relationship with Christ. I hope you find the answers you search for.
thanks alot it been a dilemma for me and thanks for the insight there i never seen it in that perspective now i know why God chose Moses to lead the israelites out of bondage for he has seen in me a will to save the captives free of which are most of my friends thanks again God bless you so much hallelujah.
 
Member
Maximus Decimus said:
In this I disagree with mymakersdaughter's opinion.

I believe that to have a lasting and impacting relationship with non-believers, we need to be able to relate to them on their own terms, withough comming across High and Mighty as if we've got our lives sorted out but they don't.
Let your life be the example, while at the same time showing that you don't need to drink or compromise your standards to have a good time with them. Show them that it's them you enjoy, not what they do.

Be there when they need you, encourage them, love them, pray for them.. but don't LEAVE THEM to themselves.. Half the reason the world is the way it is right now, is because not enough of us have a heart that bleeds for the lost enough to love them for who they are.
Max...gotta say that my point is that we need fellowship with believers and not follow our non-Christian's friends way by going to pubs for the purpose of joining fleshly desires. We must separate ourselves from a lifestyle that is not going to entice us again. I have non-Chrisitan friends who I love, I am there for them but I am always looking for an opportunity to be a witness. One friends owns a couple of bars and restaurants and we will there for him when he open another one. When we go to an opening it is for the purpose of showing him our support, it's not social for the purpose of drinking but a way to reach others, to reach him.
We need strong Christian friends, and mentor too. Someone who is walking the road as we are and we can turn to. In this life we are not the lone Christians so we need that interaction with believers outside of Sunday morning.
And that was my point, rather long one.....:wink:
 
Member
Your dilemma

I believe being a christian is being in the world but not of it,your friends need jesus too and it may be that it is through seeing the change in you:thumbs_up Jesus dealt with the lowest in society,so we must do the same.
 
Member
If He ate and drank with Sinners. what makes us so different?

Of course we all need the love and support of Christian Brothers and Sisters... that is VERY important.. but I don't believe we should forsake all (or even most) other social contact because of this?

I can't be a witness to my non-christian friends if they never see me in 'life situations' where I can set Christ's example.
 
Member
well, i can undersatnd what you are going through, and it looks like god is using you to get to them, you know what i mean? i think you should stay with your friends just as long as you don't indulge in what they do. you see, god uses us christians in every way, and because he has found you, he wants another. get a chance to know these guys personally and let them know how you fell.
 
Member
Another thought... this is something I've wanted to try... since some of our (mine too) unsaved friends like to visit the "local watering holes," I've wondered if I might go along to be the automatic designated driver. They get home safe, I get to hang out with folks I don't normally hang out with, and maybe shine a little light too? That is, if I'm "equal to such a task." I'm taking David's example on that one... waiting on the Lord to give me the go-ahead. But... a thought none the less.
 
Member
maina said:
Am a born again christian brother and havae been with with ma friends for a long time havent found new ones yet. most of the are not saved and thus I tend to sometimes feel strange around them after my salvation. I like them yes but they like going out to pubs and hengouts. Is it bad to accompany them yet I dont indulge in wat they do? OR should I avoid them coz they pple i knew in my past life and are there parmanently? pls share with me. am in a dilemma.
Jesus did "hang out" with sinners but He also drew them to other places calling to some to follow Him . He did not follow sinners into sin but lead them to greater places. Unless you have the confidence of who you are in Christ and the "authority" of the Holy Spirit then going into those places puts you "at risk". It's better to invite your friends to Christian activities and allow them to see a different lifestyle. Remember that God can not "look upon sin" if He turns His face from you because of the things going on around you you are alone indeed.
 
Member
buzzboodro said:
. Remember that God can not "look upon sin" if He turns His face from you because of the things going on around you you are alone indeed.
Ummm.... how about He will never leave me nor forsake me?
How am I invisible to God if someone around me sins? Am I not a beacon?
First church I was involved in said stuff like that - as though we could somehow be "tainted" by even talking to the unsaved... doesn't bode well for missionaries, huh? Or peoplewho run soup kitchens and homeless shelters? Or anyone who goes to a secular grocery store?
How about love the sinner...hate the sin... hard to love them if you won't talk to them, don'tcha think?
 
Member
Brother...

I was in the same boat..,, and boy was I sinner.. But when I gave my life to christ it changed everything..

I am going to give you some hard things to read,,, First off they are no longer your friends at all.(not in the conventional sense).. Jesus made it very clear.. There are only 2 people in the world .. They are saved and lost.. Those that belong to the devil and those that belong to God... there are no other people in the world..

First off being a new believer you should never put yourself in any position that will tempt the flesh.. your asking for trouble... if your friends dont understand this then again not your friends... we are commanded to be in the world and not of the world...

As a christian you must understand what your weaknesses in the flesh are.. if being in the bar tempts at all dont go.. if your friends dont see any changes in you about your lifestyle and habbits or things your do or dont do now how will they now what it means to be a christian..

Becoming a christian I lost all my friends,, we where were still on very friendly terms.. but the friendship was off.. and on their part not mine..

Why you ask? I will not gossip... how much conversation is just gossiping.. I will not swear tell dirty jokes lie.. you know what.. they didnt want to be around me.. they were impressed by how I was but didnt want to be around me anymore.. They also could not talk me with filth in their mouth.. if you talk to me there will be no swearing..

This is just about conversations can you imgine when it came to movies dancing and all the rest..

You are in a new family now.. and must find new friends.. yes be a witness to your old ones.. do whatever you like withouth compromiseing your faith..

Its not easy and it hurts.. but boy the Lord gives you so much back in return.
and it only increases need to prayer for your friends..

and use clear sense when thinking about what Jesus did. hanging out with sinners.. because you no what .. does not the bible say they hang around Jesus to hear his words.. not that he was the party guy... times and culture where different back then now.. IF Jesus went into a bar today he would be tossed out...

Just pray read the good book and head the warnings to stay away from what you were..

Kevin
 

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