Welcome to the forum by the way I am new too. First I want to say I am sure you are not alone in creating problems and trials to yourself. I know I can relate to that myself. I have created problem after problem for myself over the years. It even affected my walk with the Lord for a while until I realized just how much I needed Him actively in my life. I am not exactly sure where your own walk is, but I encourage you to find a good church if you haven’t already, one with strong believers. Maybe a smaller church so you can get to know people and of course the pastor is teaching the bible correctly. Also I encourage you to be in His word everyday as well, even if it’s reading one or two verses at least start with that. I think the best time to read is when you wake up so it starts off your day and if you want to before you go to bed. When times are tough it’s when we need Him more. Feel free to send me message here if you ever need to talk with someone.
James 1:2-5
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.