Welcome to the forum and I sincerely hope you are able to find here a love for the Truth. Most everyone has what they call truth, but when Jesus spoke to Pontius Pilate just before being condemned to the cross of crucifixion, Pilate asked of Jesus: What is truth? Pilate did not really know and in that he was honest as you need to be honest in your searching. There is some help available through some of the members of this forum.
Before Pontius Pilate was standing Truth (Jesus, himself = truth), but he simply did not recognize it for what it was. The same applies to all of us until God gives us a vision:
"Where there is no vision, the people perish..." Proverbs 29:18
Everyone needs the vision that was mentioned in the Proverb. Our natural life here is short and people want to make the best of it, not understanding that there is much more than this natural sometimes very diffcult life. To see the "much more" requires the "vision"... the vision of truth, God's Truth, which is the only Truth that in the end, matters.
In the beginning of a person's walk with God his vision is a bit fuzzy but if he holds onto God in faith the vision will get clearer.
The question is: how does a person get even a fuzzy vision of God and His plan for mankind?
Everything starts with a little bit of faith toward God... that is trust in God:
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6
If a person does not believe that God is, but wants to... then asking for help and for faith is the place to start:
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matt 7:7-8
