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Help me I feel like I'm falling

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Member

ask

I really need prayer.

I am really struggling emotoionally at the moment.

I am 27 years old, married with an 11 month old and am 6 months pregnant.

My husband and I are both christians, however He struggles with a pornography addicition and at the moment I just feel unloved.

I feel emotional, down, drained and tired.

I want him to spend time with me but , I guess I ask in the wrong way - Like tonight I said things like

"oh when can we spend time together?"
"you have time foreverybody else"
"when is the last time that we had quality time together"

the responses

"why would I want to spend time with you when your going on about all this"
"you always go on like this"

I know I am not perfect and I do blame him and I admit that I have many faults, I just want to be loved and feel love from him.

AT the moment I don't know what to do.

I just want encouragement, softness and love - not lectures - thanks for listening.

I just want to stop feeling soooooooooooooo alone.
 
Member
Hi ask, I wish I had a solution for you but I don't. I have, however, had to learn how to cope with a christian husband who is not here for me emotionally either. One thing you need to realise is that it is not all your fault. By blaming you your husband is taking the guilt of himself. It is their choice for whatever reason to remain apart from us emotionally. It does hurt, and without the Lord I could never cope. We sing "You are all I need" and yet at times like this it seems as if we don't trust the Lord enough. Try to forgive him for the way he reacts to you, it saves resentment building up so much in you. I say this to myself as well as to you, but what would Jesus want you to do. Last time this happened to me and I went to react I was stopped in my tracks with the still small voice saying "is that what I would do to you?" That just turned me right round and I had such peace after that. Ok, it didn't change anything in my husband - but it changed my attitude to my circumstances, and I have left it with the Lord to deal with my husband.
 
Member

Don

ask said:
I really need prayer.

I am really struggling emotoionally at the moment.

I am 27 years old, married with an 11 month old and am 6 months pregnant.

My husband and I are both christians, however He struggles with a pornography addicition and at the moment I just feel unloved.

I feel emotional, down, drained and tired.

I want him to spend time with me but , I guess I ask in the wrong way - Like tonight I said things like

"oh when can we spend time together?"
"you have time foreverybody else"
"when is the last time that we had quality time together"

the responses

"why would I want to spend time with you when your going on about all this"
"you always go on like this"

I know I am not perfect and I do blame him and I admit that I have many faults, I just want to be loved and feel love from him.

AT the moment I don't know what to do.

I just want encouragement, softness and love - not lectures - thanks for listening.

I just want to stop feeling soooooooooooooo alone.
Ask, You say you are both Christians, you and your Husband. I at one time was in misery also. God will not hear our prayers if there is sin in our life. You know it is sin to feel bitterness, hate, etc,. I guess you could say I tried sitting on the fence for several years, I mean small sins, just a little bit of bitterness,and not seeking the will of God. One nite It seemed as Jesus told me GET SERIOUS ABOUT ME, PUT ME FIRST IN YOUR LIFE, SEEK MY WILL, OR I WILL CUT YOU LOOSE AND LET YOU GO. I put Him first. My wife still won't go to church with me. I go to church, I ask God to reveal any sin or evilness in my life so I could confess it and get it out of my soul. To this day he will show me something once in a while. But atleast now when I kneel down to pray here at home or at church, I believe God believes me when I tell him I love him because in a very short time I can feel a touch of God's love that fills my bodys and makes everything worth living. I pray for my wife and leave it in God's hands. She has began to show interest in church. and I just Thank God. I hope this may Help you and may Jesus touch you with his love. The Lords prayer teaches us to pray everday to forgive us of our debts as we forgive our debtors. We have to forgive if we are going to forgiven. Bye for now.
 
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Member
Ask, you have a seemingly very common problem, a man is letting you down. Like the others have said its most important to remember that even though people fail God is always perfect! It is hard to feel it sometimes i know but the truth is that He is always there and always faithful. Can i ask you a question? Is your husband commited to beating this addiction of his? I ask this because i myself was in a similar situation with my fiancee and i had no idea the extent to which i was addicted. If he is commited to get through it im sure with Gods help all will be well. If not maybe talking it through with a christian friend about how you feel would help. I dont want this to turn into a lecture for you so thats all i will say about that.

GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH! He wants to be with you every second of everyday for eternity! Take care and remember that everyone has times like this and you will pull through it!
 
Member
Hello Ask

You have so much to cope with right now! An 11 month old and 6 months pregnant??? That is a lot for both of you to deal with and the stress and strain will show itself each in your different areas.

You cannot fix each other in this Ask, so get as much outside support from Christian fellowship as possible both as a couple and singularly through good Christian girlfriends and family if that is available to you.

It is a season and the more you throw yourself at Gods feet, the more able you will be to receive although this often does not remove the pain of the situation, God's mercy triumphs over judgement every time.

He has the answer for you Ask and your family, he loves you and is on your side even though it feels so dry at the moment. The wonderful thing about God is, even when you hit bad times (in this world you will have trouble, it says), things are subject to change, (take heart, i have overcome the world!) God is working in your situation, he will never ever leave you.
 
Member
First couple of years we were married I was selfish.(it's a guy thing) However my wife got smart and did not tell me. She stopped being my mother and erotic partner and started being her own person with a strong mind.This happened slowly but she led me into trying to do better for us rather than for ME-ME-
Next month we will celibrate our 36th and I want only her in my life. Love at first sight is imposible,love has to be developed overe time. MGBY(May God bless you)
 
Member
ask said:
I really need prayer.

I am really struggling emotoionally at the moment.

I am 27 years old, married with an 11 month old and am 6 months pregnant.

My husband and I are both christians, however He struggles with a pornography addicition and at the moment I just feel unloved.

I feel emotional, down, drained and tired.

I want him to spend time with me but , I guess I ask in the wrong way - Like tonight I said things like

"oh when can we spend time together?"
"you have time foreverybody else"
"when is the last time that we had quality time together"

the responses

"why would I want to spend time with you when your going on about all this"
"you always go on like this"

I know I am not perfect and I do blame him and I admit that I have many faults, I just want to be loved and feel love from him.

AT the moment I don't know what to do.

I just want encouragement, softness and love - not lectures - thanks for listening.

I just want to stop feeling soooooooooooooo alone.
ask, if you believe in The Almighty GOD & Jesus Christ then my advice to you is to pray! For HE knows your pain & hears the cries of those who love HIM! If you are in emotional pain right now - then the best thing you can do & should do is go to HIM it prayer. Tell HIM how you feel & maybe, ask HIM to warm your husband heart, with loving understanding in reaching out to you, and to help you to -or- cause you to speak in a voice that is pleasing to your husband. Prayer has never hurt no-one! And when we run into troubles, GOD wants us to go to HIM - HE'S our Heavenly Father - and HE'S there to help & protect us. {Matthew 7:7, James 1:5-6, Psalms 17:6, Psalms 18:6, Psalms 39:12} And I to will be praying for the both of you!
 
Member
Hey Don,
I liked what you had to say but one thing did bother me...you said it is sin to FEEL bitterness, hate, etc. God has given us all emotions and feelings. Feelings are never wrong, it's what we choose to do with them that is wrong or becvomes a sin. If I'm feeling bitterness, it's not a sin...but if I then choose to just wallow in the bitterness and make that bitterness my idol, then it is sin. But if I can realize Yes, I'm bitter about this and then turn it over to God and choose to put good thoughts in to replace the bitter ones, then God can turn that feeling of bitterness into good in us.

There is that verse that says (paraphrase) be angry but do not sin. And then the verse that says (paraphrase again) whatever is good etc. think on this.

I very strongly feel that feelings AREN'T sin...and I have been told all my life that they are and that idea has been used to try to control me and make me a wee mouse who can't have courage and can't get out of the guilt trap.

Yours respectfully in Christ,
Gwendolyn
 
Member
Hey ask,
I really feel for you...I'm not married yet but have had various family relationships in which, especially my dad, did not do anything to be there for me emotionally. I had to be the adult in our household and keep my dad happy so he didn't hurt himself. I know it's not exactly the same but I can relate somewhat.

Also, I've had a tough time feeling connected to God and hearing his voice and so turned to people for the needs I need to be filled but can only be filled by God. When those people I felt drawn closer to God with somehow hurt me or failed me (as humans do) I felt torn from God. Does this sound familiar.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the answere is but I do know...this is only a valley and God has promised to be with us in the valley. Many people try to tell people who are in valleys that if they only would do _____ or if they'd only find the sin in their life they'd be all better. Just because you are in a valley DOESN'T mean you are doing something wrong or your husband is doing something wrong. God lets valleys happen for many reasons...like with Job he let him sink into a valley and thruogh it showed is faithfulness. Maybe God wants you to feel is presence in time of trouble (don't let me be putting words in God's mouth--you've got to hear Him yourself...I'm just trying to give you a new look on maybe what you're going through).

Love you in Christ,
Gwendolyn
 
Member

ask

HI all - I thankyou for all your responses and I guess some of you must have been praying for me cause I seem to be doingmuch better.

We;ll I am tired and not perfect but that is why I need Jesus right

I thankyou that you all care so much, I can't respond to all theposts right Now but I will say one thing.

I think whoever has been praying you have an amazing and annointed gift and persue with that til the day Jesus returns :smile:
 

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