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Help (and help understanding confessing sin)

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"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." -- James 5:16

I have just in the past 10 minutes ended an affair that has lasted several months. I need to confess it and want to do it properly. While I have a great relationship with him I am reluctant to confess this to my pastor and would rather confess this to a (Christian) stranger. I would appreciate advice and prayers.

(And apologies for posting in the incorrect forum or in an incorrect manner, I'd also appreciate correction)
 
Active

RJ

While I have a great relationship with him I am reluctant to confess this
Sorry, your profile said: I am a 45 year-old born-again Christian, married for 18 years, and father to a 16 year-old daughter.
Before any advice, I need a little more understanding. You are married with a Daughter and you just ended an affair with another male?
 
Member
Sorry, your profile said: I am a 45 year-old born-again Christian, married for 18 years, and father to a 16 year-old daughter.
Before any advice, I need a little more understanding. You are married with a Daughter and you just ended an affair with another male?
Wow, I guess it's been awhile since I first signed on! Let's update:

53 year old born-again Christian, married for going on 26 years this year, father to a 23 year old who lives in New York City. My wife and I live in Texas. For the first time since being born again VERY active in my church.

Yes with another male but my question is more about confessing it.
 
Active

RJ

Yes with another male but my question is more about confessing it.
Confessing what?
  • That you are also a homosexual and just broke up with another homosexual?
  • That you are or, have been a homosexual, that you recently broke up with another homosexual, because you are, though still struggling, a Christian and want to confess and repentant of this sin and want to change your ways?
 
Member
Confessing what?
  • That you are also a homosexual and just broke up with another homosexual?
  • That you are or, have been a homosexual, that you recently broke up with another homosexual, because you are, though still struggling, a Christian and want to confess and repentant of this sin and want to change your ways?
I am not a homosexual. When I said "I have a great relationship with him" I meant my pastor, not the individual with whom I was having the affair. I am confessing that I was involved in an affair that I ended just a few hours ago because it is an offense to God.

I am not asking for help with sexual sin, homosexual or otherwise. I'll address that at another time. I have questions specific to confessing THIS sin.

If you have an issue with me, do I need to ask elsewhere?
 
Active

RJ

No, I have no issue but, you opened yourself up with the statement that you had a relationship with another man; maybe I falsely assumed it was a homosexual relationship! if I am going to give advice, I would rather understand the complete situation.
Saying that, this is what I can offer; it is up to you to take it or leave as you choose.

Sin is sin; no matter what it is, it all separates us from God and, therefore one is no worse than the other.
Unless you take further offense with this, let's say you are NOT a homosexual but did, just recently, have sexual relationship with another man. Without being afforded all information, let's consider two aspects of confession as it could pertain to you:
  1. You were in this relationship prior to becoming a Christian. In this case, if you at the time of confessing to God and repentant for your sins, would have included this homosexual act. Don't forget, you can't hide anything from an omniscient God. Once you have received the Holy Spirit in you and therefore saved, does not mean that you are immune to sin. Read Romans 7 and see where St. Paul struggle with doing what was right. And then, read his answer to that sin in Romans 8:1.
  2. If you started this relationship after turning to Christ and being saved,Jesus died for that future sin too! The key here is that you are repentant for it and want to continue to stay out of this type of relationship. If you were not already forgiven and saved, you could care less and wouldn't even have a question about confession.
The main point here is that you have already confessed the sin or you are in the process of confessing it. The only thing that really counts is your repentant heart and the need to confess it now, God knows your heart; if you wish, be more specific and address to him and know, since you are a "Born Again" Christian ( with Christ in you) you are forgiven...just thank him for what he has already done, ask him to continue to strengthen your resolve and move on. If you slide back a bit into the beginnings of another relationship, don't beat yourself up. Let the Holy Spirit in continue to convict you as he is doing now, and keep working on it and sooner than laster, you will be totally healed.

Hope this has helped
God Bless
 
Member
No, I have no issue but, you opened yourself up with the statement that you had a relationship with another man; maybe I falsely assumed it was a homosexual relationship! if I am going to give advice, I would rather understand the complete situation.
Saying that, this is what I can offer; it is up to you to take it or leave as you choose.

Sin is sin; no matter what it is, it all separates us from God and, therefore one is no worse than the other.
Unless you take further offense with this, let's say you are NOT a homosexual but did, just recently, have sexual relationship with another man. Without being afforded all information, let's consider two aspects of confession as it could pertain to you:
  1. You were in this relationship prior to becoming a Christian. In this case, if you at the time of confessing to God and repentant for your sins, would have included this homosexual act. Don't forget, you can't hide anything from an omniscient God. Once you have received the Holy Spirit in you and therefore saved, does not mean that you are immune to sin. Read Romans 7 and see where St. Paul struggle with doing what was right. And then, read his answer to that sin in Romans 8:1.
  2. If you started this relationship after turning to Christ and being saved,Jesus died for that future sin too! The key here is that you are repentant for it and want to continue to stay out of this type of relationship. If you were not already forgiven and saved, you could care less and wouldn't even have a question about confession.
The main point here is that you have already confessed the sin or you are in the process of confessing it. The only thing that really counts is your repentant heart and the need to confess it now, God knows your heart; if you wish, be more specific and address to him and know, since you are a "Born Again" Christian ( with Christ in you) you are forgiven...just thank him for what he has already done, ask him to continue to strengthen your resolve and move on. If you slide back a bit into the beginnings of another relationship, don't beat yourself up. Let the Holy Spirit in continue to convict you as he is doing now, and keep working on it and sooner than laster, you will be totally healed.

Hope this has helped
God Bless
It has, thank you for the wisdom!
 
Member
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." -- James 5:16

I have just in the past 10 minutes ended an affair that has lasted several months. I need to confess it and want to do it properly. While I have a great relationship with him I am reluctant to confess this to my pastor and would rather confess this to a (Christian) stranger. I would appreciate advice and prayers.

(And apologies for posting in the incorrect forum or in an incorrect manner, I'd also appreciate correction)
Do you feel guilt?
 

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