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Hi.My Name is Raimond im from latvia, eastern europe. Im drinking beer right now and my english isnt fluent plus my problems are big so this is going to be a long and weird thred. Im a narcissist if u dont know what it means then shortly im a man who has little or no conscience, lucks emphathy and is labelled as 'evil' even by people who are not religious and usually dont use word 'evil'. I ve got a problem. I ve read bible from cover to cover also i ve read a lot about bible and christianity. My probleme is that i cant repent and believe in Jesus. When i read bible it seems like a fairy tale to me. But i ve also read a lot of testemonies how bible changes peoples lifes and have no reason to believe these people are lying. I have watched David Berkowitz testemony, he was a serial killer, there is a movie about him that many have seen. This man was evil man, he killed innocent people. Now he is kind and loving man because he come to believe in Jesus as Son of God Who died for his sins. No therapists could help this man. They think such a men are untreatable. Yet now David Berkowitz is loving kind humble man.So when i read the bible i dont believe what i read but when i read testemonies about how bible(God) has changed peoples life i believe these people are true about what thay say. I know what bible teaches. We all are sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God so we need forgivness. God has sent His only begotten Son who died on the cross so through Him we might get saved. God is holy ,He wont alow sin in His presence in heaven.So Jesus sinless man and Son of God died in plce of sinners so that everyone who believes in Him might have eternal life. Still drinking and trying hard to say what my problem is. To say about my problem so that it can be understood. My problem is that i cant be sure if bible is true plus i have problem admitting im a sinner deserving to be in hell for eternety if i dont repent and believe Jesus died for my sins. Didnt i say i was a narcisist? Man without conscience and empathy? You may ask how such a man can deny he is sinner.My thinking is that i have done so much bad things that there was no way i could have lived without sinning. If i was able to live perfect life but have chosen to not live then yes im responsible.But i dont feel like i have had any capcity to not sin! If i was not able to not sin, can i be held responsible for sinning? Simply put- i cant admit i deserve to be in hell for ever if i dont believe in Jesus.I need advice. Im not sure if bible is true but radically changed lifes of people who have believed in it makes me wonder. So if bible is true im heading for hell thats sure. I dont want to be in hell. Im not an atheist have never be one, always believed in God a little. So what to do? Eternity in hell is the last thing i want. Yet i cant repent and believe Jesus is Son of God who died for my sins.Dont give me advice like 'ask God for understanding' or ' just believe the bible and do what it says' or something like that. I understand that u cant preach other gospel than that in bible and i dont want u to do and i know if get saved one day it will be the way God comandeth. But what to do if i cant believe in bible at least not now if i cant admit and repent my sin? This is real not imaginary problem for me. No responses from catholics, please. Even unbeliever like me can understand gospel and how catholics how corrupted simple truth of the bible. Thanks. Pray for me.
 
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Staff Member
Ok, in many ways you are on the right track. First, welcome to our FAMILY of believers. GOD sent you here and I pray you believe this. Its no coincidence that you believe all the testimonies, believe what Jesus did, believe the bible is real and now suddenly you are here on a very powerful Christian site.

GOD sent you here and is calling you out. GOD loves you very very much and if David changed, you can too! Believe me. I'm a living testimony as are everyone else on this board.

Do you pray? I say find a bible based church (non denominational is good) and pray daily, read daily. Associate yourself with other believers who will help you in your walk of faith in Christ. GOD will and is always there for you.

I will pray for you sister! God bless you.

By the way, no beer drinking allowed on Talk Jesus premise LOL (joke)
 
Member
thanks for reply

Either my english isnt good enough or u didnt get something. I dont believe bible is real, true. I just see how it changes peoples lifes and it makes me question if its real because when i read it i feel like reading fairy taly. Almost like that. And im a male ,35 years of age, not a sister, names in different nations may make confusion sometimes. Stiill drinking. Good beer in latvia. Actually i feel depressed and alone no one really gets what bothers me.
 
Registered Member
Jesus loves you.

Raimond said:
Either my english isnt good enough or u didnt get something. Actually i feel depressed and alone no one really gets what bothers me.
Raimond:

I get what's bothering you. You have done something in your past that you cannot forgive nor repent of. You have hardened your heart.

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad" (Proverbs 12:25, NKJ).

The Holy Spirit reveals God's Word to our hearts. Jesus loves you, Raimond. Would you like for us to pray that you soften your heart and repent of your sin?
 
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Registered Member
Jesus loves you.

Raimond said:
And im a male ,35 years of age, not a sister, names in different nations may make confusion sometimes.
Raimond,

You have "female" in your profile. You need to put male.

Female is a woman and male is a man.

This may be the confusion about your gender.
 
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Member
Burgeon yes i want u to pray for softening of my heart. Its not one particular sin i cant repent, problem is my heart that isnt able to repent or is unwilling to repent. Soldier of God, i have never understood the way one starts to believe. If it was only a question of choice then i would have had no problem to choose to believe. I dont believe in choosing to believe. If bible is true man is totaly depraved and cant just 'choose' to believe. It is Holy Spirit who reveals truth. I dont want more answers i have heard it all before. Nothing just works. Just pray for me. Thanks.
 
Registered Member
Jesus loves you.

Raimond said:
Burgeon yes i want u to pray for softening of my heart. Its not one particular sin i cant repent, problem is my heart that isnt able to repent or is unwilling to repent. Soldier of God, i have never understood the way one starts to believe. If it was only a question of choice then i would have had no problem to choose to believe. I dont believe in choosing to believe. If bible is true man is totaly depraved and cant just 'choose' to believe. It is Holy Spirit who reveals truth. I dont want more answers i have heard it all before. Nothing just works. Just pray for me. Thanks.

Raimond:

We will pray for you.

You said in a previous post that you believe something because of Christian testimonies. What you see is Jesus living in the hearts of Christians. This is the beginning for you to believe. You may not understand now. The Holy Spirit will reveal truth.


You speak like a man with authority, Raimond.
 
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Member
Raimond...from my perspective, you have head knowledge of what you need to do and believe, but you don't allow the TRUTH of the Bible to reach your heart. The Bible is a book that introduces mankind to a knowledge of God, man, man's sin, God's sacrifice for man's sin=JESUS, GOD'S SON, how man can come to the knowledge of the TRUTH=JESUS, and become a new creature in Christ...the Bible is not a fairy tale.

In school we learn that there are two categories of writing...fiction(imaginary, assumed, not factual or genuine, invented) and non-fiction(reality or real life happenings/people) History reveals the truth or reality of many of the characters of the Bible, including the life of Jesus Christ. History is recorded as factual, so why not the Bible, also? This brings us to the thought of "which came first the chicken or the egg"..."history or (His-story), the Bible"? I'm sure, in reading the Bible you found instances of math, science, geography, language, psycology, music, law, love, romance, agriculture, art, nature, astronomy, etc...almost any subject matter and interest can be found within the pages of the Bible...one book that contains a library within its' covers.

The Bible is not what changes a person, but it tells of the ONE who does the changing from inside a person's heart. It causes man to realize the blackness of his heart because of sin, tells how Jesus can cover that black heart with His red blood, and wash it as white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18) Do you know anything whiter than snow? The whitest thing known to man is dingy, when compared to snow, but the Bible tells us that "...though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." I would suggest you begin reading the gospel according to St. John, because John introduces you to "the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world."(John 1:29) as HE begins His earthly ministry and carries you all the way to His ascension back into Heaven after His death, burial, and resurrection. It presents a clear picture of the gospel.

You said that we are all sinners and have "come short of the glory of God."(Romans 3:23) This is true. We are all born of sinful parents, into a sinful world, and knowing nothing but the practice of sin(unbelief); however, the message does not stop there...we do not have to remain in that state, because GOD loves us and "gave his only begotten Son"(John 3:16) to die in our place...to take our hell for us, so we would not have to go there. Hell was "prepared for the devil and his angels"(Matthew 25:41) If you aren't the devil or one of his angels, you would go as an intruder, an uninvited guest. Have you ever been to a place where you felt out of place? Eternity is forever...man will spend it in one of two places...either Heaven or hell. Where will you be in eternity?

I do not believe you are without conscience, you know the difference between right and wrong. I, also, believe that you have come to the knowledge that you have an emptiness within your life and you desire to know what(really whom) can/will fill that void. You even know the answer....is JESUS. John 1:1-5, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not." vs 14, "And the Word [Jesus] was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth."

You say it is hard for you to believe that you are a sinner; deserving to die and go to hell. May I ask you...did JESUS, the perfect, sinless Son of GOD deserve to die, experience your sin and hell for nothing? Does David Berkowitz deserve to die because he killed all those people? I'm sure, now, that he would say he does. He is a murderer, that is his present condition. Jesus died for all murderers, that was a past transaction that takes care of the present condition(sinner) and has future benefits(interest)...eternal life. Berkowitz faced up to what he was...a sinner, realized
his only hope was to be found in Jesus...became one of the "whosoever believeth in him" and was given the gift of "everlasting life."(John 3:16) John 14:6, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." It would be terribly sad to know that you were "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."(2 Timothy 3:7)

You may have heard the saying about a Christian being "the only Bible some people will read", sinners do watch Christians and sometimes they are disappointed when they find out that many who profess Christ are no different from themselves. Christians aren't perfect, but are forgiven by the shed blood of the Lamb of GOD. A Christian realizes that because of Christ "he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17) Nothing he has done nor can do, but all has been done for him/in him by Christ Jesus on the cross at Calvary...no good works, religion/religious affliation or organization, baptism, etc. can give or earn man's entrance into Heaven.

Simple child-like faith(confidence or trust) or a simple prayer, as the one in Luke 18:13, "...God be merciful to me a sinner" is all that is needed when we realize we are sinners, confess(admit to what God says we are) our sin, and repent(feel remorse and turn from). If you had been the only person who had ever needed as Savior, Jesus would still have come and died for you, personally...oh, such love and mercy!!!
 
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Member
TDS52 u may be right that i dont allow Truth of the Bible to reach my heart. But its not a conscious decision to deny the truth. And words from the Bible ' ever learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of truth' sound so true and it scares me. I hope i will find truth though. At least im not looking for truth in quran or budissm or somwere else. At least i have come to understanding that truth can be found either in the Bible or it cant be found at all. To Soldier of God. Im not a calvinist and do not believe in 'irrestible grace'. TDS52 is true about me not allowing truth of the Bible to reach me. When i said its imposiible to choose to believe i meant that man is dead in sins and cant get saved without Gods help. That doesnt mean im going to do nothing just sit and wait until The Holy Spirit reveals me truth. And yes i have no authority at all. Looked in dictionary what word 'authority' means. It has lot of meanings when translatad in latvian none of which i can assosiate with myself. If the Bible is true im unsaved,unbeliever. What authority can i have? Dont know what u burgeon meant by that. Anyways i believe in the Bible a little but not enough to be saved. Born again christians are really very different from other people, so many radically changed lifes by believing in Jesus should be proof that its true but im still not sure. Soldier of God, the Bible seems like fairy tale when i READ it. When i read christian testimonies it stops to seem like fairy tale. There is a conflict in me, two different attitudes toward the Bible. Thanks for what u said, TDS52. ' Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth'. It scared me but fear isnt always bad it makes u to do something about situation.
 
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Member
"But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost. In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them."(2 Corinthians 4:4-5) LOST, among its' many meanings, is a failure to notice or retain; something missing or hidden. We are spiritually dead, empty, blind, and walking in darkness before we come to the knowledge of the TRUTH=JESUS. "The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble."(Proverbs 4:19) "We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we stumble at noonday as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men."(Isaiah 59:10) I'm sure the devil is pleased when he keeps man in this state, but Jesus said, "...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."(John 10:10) "...I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."(John 14:6)

If you can see yourself as a sinner and acknowledge yourself as an unbeliever, then you can receive help. When Jesus, through the power/work of the Holy Spirit, brings us to that knowledge, the next step is ours. We have a saying here...you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink...he will drink, only, if thirsty. A sinner will, only, move toward GOD when there is a tugging/drawing within his soul. Jesus will never force himself upon on the sinner. His Holy Spirit creates the conviction of sin or condemnation of our sin in our souls. He points us to our Helper/Savior...JESUS, and what we do with the Person of Christ and His gospel is left up to us. Do we accept the TRUTH=JESUS or reject HIM? Two choices...either we accept or reject Christ. Two destinations for eternity...Heaven or hell. Two ways....the broad way "...that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat;" or the narrow way "...which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."(Matthew 7:13-14) The Holy Spirit teaches us and brings us to the knowledge of the TRUTH.

After death comes the judgment..."And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment."(Hebrews 9:27) Judgment is the final sentence placed upon man...his final destination is set for all eternity...no more chances to hear or respond to the gospel of Christ. GOD gave man "...the way..." to escape eternal damnation, through salvation. "How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him;"(Hebrews 2:3) To neglect is to disregard, fail to do, or omit through carelessness, something of great importance. Please do not disregard the gospel of Christ nor put off trusting Him as your Savior.

You said, "Born again Christians are really different from other people," The difference is Christ living in them, but they are still in the fleshly/sinful body and are still prone to/capable of commiting/practising sin. The change has taken place within their souls, but we cannot look at them nor to them, in many cases, to benefit ourselves. We are all, personally, responsilbe for ourselves and our choices before a HOLY GOD. "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in hisbody, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad."(2 Corinthians 5:10)

The conflict within you is a battle for TRUTH. The Holy Spirit wants to point you to TRUTH=JESUS, but the devil and your sinful nature are fighting against it...a sure sign that the Holy Spirit is doing His convicting work within you. You may question within yourself, how can I trust or place my faith in ONE I cannot see, touch, or handle? "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."(Hebrews 11:1) vs.5, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." If a Godly fear comes upon you, then you must do something about it. Nothing would thrill my soul and the souls of the Christians here any more than hearing that you have come to believe in Christ, as your personal Savior. We cannot believe for you nor make you believe, only point you to the ONE who can/will save you, if you come to Him and ask Him to come into your heart and live through you...give you the eternal life promised in John 3:16.
 
Member
Raimond

I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

You say you ve read the bible . Keep reading it- the more you read it the more faith you will have because faith cometh by hearing the Word of God, or reading it.


You said -“when i read testmonies about how bible(God) has changed peoples life i believe these people are true about what thay say.”

Their lives are changed and is living proof to those who doubt, to show that the Bible is really true. We are his living witnesses to the truth. Jesus really loves and care about you and wants you to get to know Him and be with Him in heaven.

You want to hear another testimony? Here’s part of mine

I was in church all my life but I didn’t read my Bible because we were not taught we were suppose to read it. I called myself a Christian. But I felt I should read it so I said - I will read it with an open mind and open heart– its either true or not true. I started reading the first book in the New Testament which is Matthew. Then I read the second book, Mark and guess what? Before I got even half way thru Mark, the Lord revealed Himself and his Word to me; just me and Him in my house. And He saved me!! It was like a weight lifted from me . My life is as different now as night and day. See it was in my head before, but not in my heart . Like you, I knew with my mind what it said – but I didn’t really know Him personally like my friends and family. Would you like to know Jesus personally like a friend? I don’t mean just know things about Him that you have read. But like the way you KNOW a person –you have a personal relationship with them..


You said it seems like the Bible is a fairy tale. See your head, your mind, is trying to figure things out. But the things of God cannot be understood with our natural mind, but can only be understood with our spirit. You are trying to believe with your head. So don’t worry about the things your cant understand and believe right now. The most imporant thing is that you want to believe or you would not be telling us this and asking for prayer.

You said “i have problem admitting im a sinner deserving to be in hell for eternety if i dont repent and believe Jesus died for my sins."

You aren’t the only one who has done this; we have all tried to justify ourselves and think we are pretty good sometimes.

But then you said

.”My thinking is that i have done so much bad things that there was no way i could have lived without sinning. “

You said there is no way you could have lived without sinning. So you do think you have sinned.You are wondering that if this is true, you would go to hell and that bothers you . So this shows you do want to go to heaven.. Now that you have read that Jesus the Son of God died so everyone who believes in Him might have eternal life , you are now beginning to believe and can be saved from hell..

You said --If it was only a question of choice then i would have had no problem to choose to believe.”

See this is how it works : the Holy Spirit IS trying to reveal truth to you or this would not bother you and you wouldnt even be thinking about it.. But you’re concerned about being in hell for eternity. Well God says whosoever WILL can come to him and shall be saved. So it IS an act of your will and you want to be saved because you said you don’t want to go to hell.. Whosoever means anyone that wants to. No one had ever told me this so I didn’t know everyone has this choice to make in their life. Sooner or later we all have to make this choice. We don’t just decide to do it on your own but only when the Holy Spirit is dealing with a person. But now the Holy Spirit IS beginning to reveal these things to you, so now you CAN make this choice .Because He said


“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life”. (Deut. 30:19)

“now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation”
(2 Corinthians 6:2)

He is right there with you waiting with open arms to welcome you – all you have to do is just come to Him just like you are and say Lord here I am.
He said “I will never, no never, reject one of them who comes to Me”(John 6:36)

God bless you!!!
 
Member
Something happend. May be i got saved. Dont want to talk about it now because not sure wat it was. My be just emotional experiance. I know it sounds strange but right now i dont want to talk about what happened. I need a couple of days to understand it. Im 90% sure it was just emotional, psihological experience not that i got saved. Anyway, i need time to understand. Will not be posting until sure. Thanks for replies everyone.
 
Member
It is good and right that you are going to set back, reflect and discern.
May the Spirit of the Living GOD give right and proper discernment, and may you receive His Peace.
May you soon join the members of the Body Of Christ, we wait for you and pray for you.
Peace be with you,
John
 
Member
Raimond...all your friends here at TalkJesus will be anxiously waiting to hear from you. Our sincere prayers are that we will be used to point others to JESUS. Our desire is to be a blessing, help, and encouragement to those who come here with a need in their life. Our prayer is that you have found the help you needed and answers to your questions in JESUS.
 

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