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Ya know, I used to hear that & think "well IF he was so "good" why does he "allow this or that" to happen?
Now I can see why, NOT completely but my eyes are opening slowly but surly.
My mom who is 71 is (as I type) laying in a hospital bed dying of cancer. We found out in July of last year that she had cancer. She has lost tremendous amount of weight in the past three months. She's down to about 89 pounds. The woman laying in the bed doesn't resemble my mom at all. Her voice seems similar but not to the full extent & she can hardly muster words. She hasn't eaten in 4 days so they had to give her a blood transfusion. She's VERY weak. Very very weak & last night I began to cry. I cried because I'm gonna miss her. She & I didn't see eye to eye on many things but I am still going to miss her. I haven't prayed to God to heal her, or to make her better so that she can function. I asked God to take her quickly & quietly. She IS a God fearing woman. Not like the kind you would imagine but God fearing none-the-less.
Then it dawned on me - God gives AND God takes away. WE ALL BELONG TO GOD! We are only rented to our parents, siblings & friends. We are extremely selfish creatures by nature until we gain a relationship with God. I don't want my mom here for me, or my brother or anyone. I want God to do what God wants to do & that's it. Had this been happening 15 years ago I would have been cursing God like no other. Asking about a million whys? & telling him he's being mean, heartless & what I would change in my life if he would just let her live longer only to renege later on my promise I made to him anyway. Then I would have asked "Why me Lord, WHY ME?"
Now I ask "WHY NOT?" God never told anyone that we would live to be 100 or even 1 day old. WE EXPECT it & become angry when WE don't get things OUR way. Then it's all shoved on God for the reasons why we drink, why we hurt, why we failed, why we didn't get the job, why we didn't ...........
If I claim to be a Christian I will also have to claim HIS WILL if it is painful or joyful. Claiming Christianity in good times & becoming bitter in times of pain isn't being a Christian, That's only human. ANYONE & EVERYONE does that. Christianity is ACCEPTING that this is ALL Gods property & WE are just blessed to be a part of it. We don't own ANYTHING. Not even our bodies. That too belongs to God almighty! I'm thankful he has loaned me the mom he did. I'm honored that God himself selected the people I have had the privilege of being around.
Sure I'm sad that I won't be able to make a call & hear my mom answer the phone or see her drive up to my house BUT that's only temporary anyway. My mom needs rest. Lots & lots of it. Her lil tiny body is exhausted. It would be selfish of me to want to keep her here struggling to make it to the bathroom or even to cook a meal. God IS running this show & HE & ONLY HE has the last word no matter how bad our hearts may hurt. He's there to heal the heart too. Not everyone dies when it just seems right. Healthy people pass away too. God IS behind that also. He can do whatever HE wants to. It's up to US Christians to Praise HIM anyway. This short time we humans have on this earth is less than a second in the eyes of God. Eternity is just that - Forever & ever. And to just think of spending forever & ever WITH God HIMSELF?? That idea alone has my mind wanting to burst wide open because I can't even begin to daydream about it. It's far to out there for a human brain.
I guess what I am saying here is if we Christians accept the good from God we must also accept the painful things just as willingly. We are always so giddy & happy when we are blessed with the things that WE ask for & things that make our lives easier. So we must also be willing to accept the things that do not make our lives easier & issues that have us feel hopeless. The evidence here is the fact that had it not been for God himself choosing lil ole worthless me I would be drunk somewhere, blaming God for my pain & not seeing or even caring to see his way. NOW, That's all I can do. He's showing me how much we do belong to him, the air we inhale belongs to him & what he does is all HIM. We've just got to quit fighting the currant & let God do HIS job. He will ease the pain & open your heart if you just simply stop, sit & listen. He will even comfort you & give you a reason to smile at a time when most buckle & fall.
Job 14:5 (NLT)
5 You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.
PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE ALMIGHTY GOD!!
Now I can see why, NOT completely but my eyes are opening slowly but surly.
My mom who is 71 is (as I type) laying in a hospital bed dying of cancer. We found out in July of last year that she had cancer. She has lost tremendous amount of weight in the past three months. She's down to about 89 pounds. The woman laying in the bed doesn't resemble my mom at all. Her voice seems similar but not to the full extent & she can hardly muster words. She hasn't eaten in 4 days so they had to give her a blood transfusion. She's VERY weak. Very very weak & last night I began to cry. I cried because I'm gonna miss her. She & I didn't see eye to eye on many things but I am still going to miss her. I haven't prayed to God to heal her, or to make her better so that she can function. I asked God to take her quickly & quietly. She IS a God fearing woman. Not like the kind you would imagine but God fearing none-the-less.
Then it dawned on me - God gives AND God takes away. WE ALL BELONG TO GOD! We are only rented to our parents, siblings & friends. We are extremely selfish creatures by nature until we gain a relationship with God. I don't want my mom here for me, or my brother or anyone. I want God to do what God wants to do & that's it. Had this been happening 15 years ago I would have been cursing God like no other. Asking about a million whys? & telling him he's being mean, heartless & what I would change in my life if he would just let her live longer only to renege later on my promise I made to him anyway. Then I would have asked "Why me Lord, WHY ME?"
Now I ask "WHY NOT?" God never told anyone that we would live to be 100 or even 1 day old. WE EXPECT it & become angry when WE don't get things OUR way. Then it's all shoved on God for the reasons why we drink, why we hurt, why we failed, why we didn't get the job, why we didn't ...........
If I claim to be a Christian I will also have to claim HIS WILL if it is painful or joyful. Claiming Christianity in good times & becoming bitter in times of pain isn't being a Christian, That's only human. ANYONE & EVERYONE does that. Christianity is ACCEPTING that this is ALL Gods property & WE are just blessed to be a part of it. We don't own ANYTHING. Not even our bodies. That too belongs to God almighty! I'm thankful he has loaned me the mom he did. I'm honored that God himself selected the people I have had the privilege of being around.
Sure I'm sad that I won't be able to make a call & hear my mom answer the phone or see her drive up to my house BUT that's only temporary anyway. My mom needs rest. Lots & lots of it. Her lil tiny body is exhausted. It would be selfish of me to want to keep her here struggling to make it to the bathroom or even to cook a meal. God IS running this show & HE & ONLY HE has the last word no matter how bad our hearts may hurt. He's there to heal the heart too. Not everyone dies when it just seems right. Healthy people pass away too. God IS behind that also. He can do whatever HE wants to. It's up to US Christians to Praise HIM anyway. This short time we humans have on this earth is less than a second in the eyes of God. Eternity is just that - Forever & ever. And to just think of spending forever & ever WITH God HIMSELF?? That idea alone has my mind wanting to burst wide open because I can't even begin to daydream about it. It's far to out there for a human brain.
I guess what I am saying here is if we Christians accept the good from God we must also accept the painful things just as willingly. We are always so giddy & happy when we are blessed with the things that WE ask for & things that make our lives easier. So we must also be willing to accept the things that do not make our lives easier & issues that have us feel hopeless. The evidence here is the fact that had it not been for God himself choosing lil ole worthless me I would be drunk somewhere, blaming God for my pain & not seeing or even caring to see his way. NOW, That's all I can do. He's showing me how much we do belong to him, the air we inhale belongs to him & what he does is all HIM. We've just got to quit fighting the currant & let God do HIS job. He will ease the pain & open your heart if you just simply stop, sit & listen. He will even comfort you & give you a reason to smile at a time when most buckle & fall.
Job 14:5 (NLT)
5 You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.
PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE ALMIGHTY GOD!!
