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friends with a sugar junkie??

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Lanolin, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. I think I worry too much about a person close to me that seem to be backsliding and I can't do anything about it, I do pray and nothing much seems to be happening, so what is the best attitude to have?

    It bothers me because their behaviour is very closed off to the the things of God and they obssess about the world and are very self absorbed and I just feel I can't be real/true friends with them.

    The Bible says friendship with the world is emnity with God, so when one friend starts obssessing over worldly things I don't know what to do, I have kind of distanced myself and not joined in with their activities and tried to keep mentioning God but I am just feeling tired of the joking around over things that aren't really funny, and the focus on themselves and their appetites all the time.

    It made me wonder are they really saved because they don't act like it, and aren't serious about God only at times when they want something. Many times I had thought it would be easier if I dropped this friend and she found someone she had more in common with and did the things she wanted to do instead of me, because at times I've felt like she has used me and put me through the wringer, and even put me in temptations way without even realising it. Just because she indulges she kind of expects me to as well to feel better about herself?

    After a time I realised this friend had all the symptoms of binge eating but obviously thinks I don't know about it. It's kind of like trying to being friends with an alcoholic - but with alchoholics/addicts/drunkards you get them into rehab but I don't know what you do with people that have eating disorders.

    Does the bible say anything about that and is there any hope she will stop overeating or do I just have to think of something to say when she asks 'have I put on weight?' all the time. I don't know I am not a scale. Or do I say I don't care how much you weigh you're my friend'. or something along those lines.

    Is gluttony a serious sin because I'm feeling a bit repulsed by it now. Apparently binge eaters eat at nighttime when nobody is looking and they hoard junkfood. I only see her during the day and she doesn't eat much when I'm with her but she's always talking about food and obssessing about diet, but as far as I know gains weight no matter how much exercise she does, and she goes to the gym all the time so it must be she's eating at night time??

    I don't want to meddle with her relationship with God but it seems like its not really happening, her mind isn't on Him it's always on her stomach.
    I'm afraid she might end up in hospital again when all this overeating is going to catch up with her but if she won't listen to her mum who's concerned about her health she won't listen to me. I feel like I can no longer handle it when she lusts after a coffee and cake and uses me to get what she wants. I am sure having 14 dental fillings is not really normal but she's not quitting. She can quit cigarettes but sugar is another matter.
     
  2. I think fhe Lord weighs the spirits. Well thats what it says in Proberbs. Maybe she has the spirit of heaviness. Or she hasnt cast of the weight of sin. I dont know.

    Today is her birthday but Im working and might not see her, saw her last satirday and she arranged to see me on tuesday but then didnt come as she was tired, but I do have a gift for her yet didnt give it yesterday as I was tired and didnt want to go out, so will see.

    Last time I gave her gifts round christmas in hospital And she was a bit funny about it. Last year gave her a book on juicing as she seemed real keen on it only to find out she never used her juicer she was raving to me about.
     
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  3. Asked her to come round today and she didnt show, didnt ring to say she wasnt coming, and phone engaged.

    Huh.

    Well. Maybe just drop it and give gift to someone else who will appreciate it?

    I mean do you give a dog a bone..or a toblerone...or do you give them something holy? Whats better. Not saying shes like a dog but my other friend just gave chocolates even though I warned her shed just scoff the lot and it wasnt actually healthy for her. It would be like giving an alcoholic a beer.Doesnt that just encourage them to be drunk or is it better to give an addict what they want even if it kills them...
     
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  4. Her husband told me shes in hospital, shes overeating again. He said she was up all night eating chocolates and lollies. Arrgh!!!!

    The police had picked her up when she was put at 4am wanting chocolate. Apparently.
     
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  5. She rang last night and wants me to visit her in hospital. Shes not talking to her husband. I wonder if she overeats to escape him?

    Am going sunday afternoon.

    I will have to call her mum to ask her if she knows why and when it all started. Sugar can do weird things to your brain.
     
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  6. Cant get hold of her mum.

    What am I going to say to her?!

    Stop bingeing?
    You are killing yourself?
     
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  7. I'm sure the medical professionals and others will have said this many times already. There's a good chance that she is full of shame and self loathing already - telling her the obvious may just reinforce all the negative feelings. No need to go in with any preprepared advice.

    Remind her that you will stick by her, that you will support her and pray for her. She's infinitely precious to God.

    What she is able to say to you is more important than what you say to her.
     
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  8. Thanks..well thing is she hasnt shared with me just what it is that makes her overeat.
    I am going to see her Monday after work now.

    I had other things on Sunday that I had already planned to do, so rang her to let her know.

    Got hold of her mum and she said chocolates and lollies to her are like alcohol to an alcoholic. Thing is my other friend actually GAVE her chocolates for a birthday present, when I had warned her beforehand NOT to give her any. The other friend didnt listen to me...or she forgot, and said she didnt know, but I remember discussing this with her a few times.

    Arrgh. Its not her fault, as miss sugar junkie would have just gone out an bought a heap anyway, but you dont give chocolates to a sugar junkie! She has give me lollies another time as well, which i just gave away, sometimes i just end up putting lollies in the bin. I dont know what it is with people giving junk food as gifts.

    Not healthy.
     
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  9. Hmm well she didnt want to talk about it and she was pretty spaced out when I saw her in hospital. So just sat there waiting and she didnt share while staring into space and she was going 'this is a nice room' drinking a cup of tea till it was time to leave. I had my bible but she wasnt interested.

    I think she was just using me to get her some clothes since she wasnt going to talk to her husband.

    The nurse said she was not listening to them and they couldnt get through to her. She wants to stay in the darkness. Think she may be in there for a while.

    I did mention a prayer group one of my friends suggested we do and she just went 'one day' which is probably never.

    I was given Proverbs 26:2 but am not sure what that means in this situation...but its not encouraging cos all that chapter is about foolishness.
     
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  10. Decided to just stop talking to her till she gets out of hospital and even if she rings ten times wanting me to visit I will keep saying NO I wont see you till you are home and better.

    Im not going there for no reason. Her husband will take her home to her mum where she is banned from bingeing.

    God also gave me Matthew 21:2 and Ruth 1:8
     
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  11. I just want to say that things are looking up and my other friend still wants to pray with her and even offered to visit her but I said wait till she gets out. So I shouldn't have said 'never' but there might be a time if she ever makes up her mind to keep following Jesus and not wander off.

    stupid sugar demons!
    Praise the Lord she's actually talking to her husband now and he says she's ok. Time will tell.
     

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