forgiveness sets you free

[Eagle]

The last thing I want to do is to make anyone feel bad or to preach a sermon. All I want to do is to share and hope that someone might find some freedom from things that tends to bug them.

For over 20 years I have never understood why I am so tormented by little things that I did wrong as a child. I wondered why the things that I am not even guilty of, why did I feel utmost guilt from it.

Little did I realise that even though I forgave most people in my life, the one person I could not forgive was where my problem was.

As I attended a conference where they totally break you down emotionally and get rid of those bitterroot judgements and unforgiveness, we were told to ask God whom is the person that we need to forgive. As I sat there and asked God, up came the person whom I dont want to forgive cause she dont deserve forgiveness. Well I stopped fighting it and forgave my mother for not being a mother to me etc, and wow what a weight lifted off me.

Just remember unforgiveness openes a way for the enemy to torment you and that is what he did with me. After I forgave my mother, almost all of those tormenting thoughts and guilt went with it.

OK some will say some people dont deserve to be forgiven, i.e. the murderer, the rapist etc, but....

So when I almost once again refused to forgive my mum, a thought came through my mind and - The Lord forgives me as I forgave those whom tresspassed against me - and well even though my mum according to the hurt in me might not deserve to be forgiven, we need to forgive them so that God can do His work in those that we have forgiven.

On the unforgiveness that we harbour as humans, we give the enemy free right to use lies against us, I chose to live a life full of blessings and so that the Lord could work with those whom hurt me most, rather than the life full of lies that the enemy had over me.

What is your choice - forgive to set yourself free, but most of all you set those free whom hurt you most - your forgiveness allows God to lovingly work in their lives and He will show them where they went wrong.

 

[Apple]

Just remember unforgiveness opens a way for the enemy to torment you and that is what he did with me. After I forgave my mother, almost all of those tormenting thoughts and guilt went with it.

Thank you for writing this post. I need to forgive my mother, I think. I have read other posts and threads on forgiveness and it seems such a huge step to take. I just can't imagine being able to take such a step at the moment, but I'm pleased that you were able to do so and that it has helped you significantly.

 

[Dreamer]

It will help you too, brighteyes, it's the key to your healing, sister.

You can only forgive leaning on Jesus. He has the power, not you. So just ask Him to give you the power to forgive.

I remember in March of 1991, the Lord was dealing with me about forgiving my mom and my dad. I didn't want to do it. I even rose my fist up while I was driving and said, "No!" (The Lord spoke to me softly while I was driving, urging me to forgive my parents.)

I just couldn't seem to find it within myself to do that. I'd held on to the pain and bitterness so long that the seething resentment was more a part of me than life itself. Even though I had just been saved 1 month before that, I was still having trouble making eye contact with people and showing joy. I needed freedom. The devil still had me bound. So when God asked me to forgive, He was only trying to help me, even though I didn't see it that way at the time.

I wrote everything down in a notebook later that I needed to forgive my parents for. The next morning (early in the morning) I prayed and sincerely forgave them. If you would like, I will send you a pm of what happened then. It was awesome, brighteyes. God completely delivered me the very moment I forgave them. He'll do the same for you, just using different techniques, 'cause you're an individual.

You have special needs that only Father God can understand. He is ready, willing and able to deliver you. You have to do your part, too. Forgiveness is the first step to healing!

When I say "deliverance", I mean that God delivered me of fear, an extreme fear that I had of people.
You might need freedom in another area, but God is able to discern exactly what you need. He loves you so much, brighteyes, and He's been working in You. Listen to His soft, still voice and obey Him. He is ready to give you the desires of your heart.

 

[Kingskid]

I am so thankful that anything God requires of us, He empowers us to do it!
It totally blesses me that Dreamer calls sadeyes, brighteyes! Amen, I stand in agreement with that, sister.

Forgiveness is very, very freeing. I, like Dreamer, have made many lists of my own only to give them to God and experience the baggage and prison walls removed from my life. I stated this in a previous post somewhere on TJ that forgiveness does not mean we approve of the offense done. It just means that we choose to release it to God who is the Just Judge. When we hold onto offense we bind God from working in our lives, the lives of those we are choosing not to forgive and the situation. It's only when we release it to Him that we begin to experience joy, peace, contentment, love, powerful prayer lives etc. I had no idea how much heavy baggage I was carrying around until I released my unforgiveness to God and trusted Him with it. He moves in powerfully when we do this. Forgiveness is very, very freeing!

Isaiah 61:1-3 "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called
trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

 

[Chad]

This is a great subject, one of the most important topic to discuss as it can make or break our relationship and joy with GOD. Jesus made very clear how important, how critical it is to forgive others. When we don't, the torment is always going to be there.

Matthew 6:14-15

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

[Apple]

As I have been thinking about this, one question has come into my head which I hope that somebody will be able to answer for me.

My father severely abused me from the time that I was born until he died.

As he is dead, do I still need to forgive him or does death put a barrier between the wronged person and the person who has done the wrong?

In other words, can unforgiveness towards a dead person still have power over a living person?

 

[Dreamer]

Yes, most definitely! Unforgiveness toward a dead person does not hurt the dead person. It damages the person who owns the unforgiveness.

One of the hardest persons for me to forgive in my life (harder than forgiving my parents) was my paternal grandmother.

She is the one who abused my father sexually and physically and verbally. She is the one who made him damaged so that he didn't know how to be a man, a husband, a father. I hated her for what she'd done to my dad. What made it even worse was...she was an extremely religious person who went around loudly talking about "Jesus" and "My Lord", but she wasn't a follower of the real Jesus. She made me hate religion and church eventually. She made me think that anything attached to church was sick and hurtful. She told my dad he was called to be a minister and he couldn't make it as a minister. But those were all lies from the devil.

Your abuse from your dad was real. But it is over now, finally, and you've got to let it go....for your own sake. We are here for you, sister, but more importantly, the Lord Jesus is with you and He understands everything that you are going through.

God commands that we forgive others, as He forgives us. It's just the way it is. As you learn to lean upon Him and trust Him, He will enable you to forgive! Your time is coming

You just don't realize how close you are to receiving your healing!

You're as close as the next prayer, brighteyes.

God's getting you ready to forgive. You'll know when it's time. I am so happy for you, because I know God is doing great things in your life. Trust in Him, sister.

 

[Apple]

Thank you for your very clear answer.

I'm going to try to read through the posts and threads about forgiveness tomorrow, if I feel well enough.

Ummm - This is all so hard!!!!!

 

[Kingskid]

Hi Brighteyes! Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the offender.
Forgiveness, again, is not approval of the offense, it is choosing to release
it to God. When Jesus died for us He did not approve of any of our sin, yet
He forgave them anyway while we were still sinners. It was when we
received that forgiveness that the power of that gift was released into
our lives, and we became alive in Christ.

When we choose to hold onto unforgiveness, we are keeping God from
forgiving us. It's only as we forgive (choose to release person ,
situation and our hurt to God and trust Him with it) that God can heal
and make us whole. You are actually keeping yourself in a prison, so to
speak, until you forgive. So, to answer your question, yes, forgive him
so that God can heal your heart as He so longs to do. You'll be glad you did.
Trust me!

You are so special! God doesn't want you to carry this anymore.

 

[Apple]

Thank you for the advice.

I just can't imagine being able to forgive all the people who have abused me, so I really will need a miracle!

 

[ladylovesJesus]

Dear sister

We all have to go through this forgiveness in order to be forgiven by God.

I was reminded of this song:

Im forgiven,
because You were forsaken,
and I'm accepted, You were condemned,
and I'm alive and well your spirit is within me,
because You died and rose again.

Amazing love,
how can it be,
that You my king would die for me,
Amazing love,
I know it's true,
and it's my joy to honor You.

Jesus says 'If you love me you will obey me'

There is also a thread on forgiving ourselves which is something else we need to do after we forgive others.

http://www.talkjesus.com/ethics-morality/11995-forgiving-ourselves.html

God will help you to forgive if you ask Him.

It is not a feeling it is an act of the will to choose to forgive.
Sometimes we have to keep on forgiving until we are not hurt any more and that is real forgiveness to let it go and not keep remembering it.

God bless

Love in Christ :rainbow: :rose:

 

[Apple]

Thank you LLJ for your kind post.

" We all have to go through this forgiveness in order to be forgiven by God."

If I can't forgive, then does that mean that I can't be forgiven by God and therefore, when I die I will go to hell?

I am not willing to enter into a pity party here, but my life has been so full of abuse that I can't imagine forgiving my abusers. I also however know that there are millions of other people out there who have had abused lives, so I am not suggesting that my situation is unique as far as how much abuse I have experienced.

I am glad that you wrote:

" God will help you to forgive if you ask Him." - That is all that I can do at the moment. This morning I have read through the threads on forgiveness and am feeling very overwhelmed by it all. I understand that forgiving someone does not excuse them for what they did, but even so ... That is a big one!!!!!!

" It is not a feeling it is an act of the will to choose to forgive.
Sometimes we have to keep on forgiving until we are not hurt any more and that is real forgiveness to let it go and not keep remembering it."

The good news here is that it is a process (if I have understood what you have written correctly!), which is good because I don't think that I could do it all in one go in anycase!!!!!!!

The bad news is that it is an act of will, that we need to choose to forgive and quite simply, I DON'T WANT TO FORGIVE!!!!!!!!!!

But then if Kingskid is right by writing:

"You are actually keeping yourself in a prison, so to
speak, until you forgive."

- then I am making such a stupid decision by not wanting to forgive.

LLJ also wrote:

Jesus says 'If you love me you will obey me' - which means that I am disobeying Jesus' command by choosing not to forgive my abusers.

Chad wrote:

"Jesus made very clear how important, how critical it is to forgive others. When we don't, the torment is always going to be there."

So I understand the need to forgive and the importance of forgiveness. So how do I get to the point where I can submit my will to God's will?

I think that Dreamer understands how I feel as she wrote:

"I just couldn't seem to find it within myself to do that. I'd held on to the pain and bitterness so long that the seething resentment was more a part of me than life itself."

Dreamer, however, also went on in her post to say that:

"God completely delivered me the very moment I forgave them."

Why am I so stupid that I cannot reach out and accept what is being offered to me? It is like a prisoner sitting in his prison cell and being offered his freedom and him saying, " No thank you!" That would be so crazy and yet, if I have understood everything correctly, that is what I am doing.
Maybe it is because the prisoner feels safe in his cell. He knows where everything is, he knows what is going to happen at what time and he is frightened of the big wide world outside of his prison cell. He would prefer to stay in prison rather than to step out of the cell and experience what the big wide world can offer. Now we on the outside would want to encourage him to have the confidence to accept the offer of freedom, but if the prisoner has been in prison for a long time, then freedom, however ideal it is, is also frightening.

So in a sense, I have answered my own question. I am frightened of letting go of my will (which is not to forgive) and submit myself to God's will (which is to forgive). However good God's will will be for me, I am frightened of doing it. I can really relate to the prisoner sitting in his prison cell with the door wide open, freedom only one step away and him saying, "No thank you! I'm too scared to go".

I feel very stupid sitting here, thinking this way, but I don't know how to move forward now. I have read what the Bible says about the need to forgive and I have read all of the posts advising me to do so. I know about all the benefits of forgiving, so all I have to do is FORGIVE - and that is easier said than done.

I don't know if anybody can offer me any advice because in a sense, it has already been said. All I have to do is to get to a point where I can forgive, but how to get to that point, I don't know.

Maybe I have also answered that one, because I did write earlier that LLJ had previously written:

" God will help you to forgive if you ask Him."

Unless you know any different, I think that that is all that I can do at the moment, because without God's help I am not going to be able to do anything in the way of forgiving.


Sorry that I have rambled so much in this post but it helped me to think my thoughts through!!!!!

 

[Kingskid]

Hi Brighteyes! When I awoke this morning the Lord put you on my heart
quickly. The message for you He put on my heart was to share with you
His deep love for you. He wants to assure you that He is a Father you can
totally trust. He loves you more than you can comprehend.

He "...will not leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6
You are"...the apple of His eye." Deut. 32:10
He wants you to know that His love for you is wide, long, deep and high.
He longs to fill you with all of His fullness. Eph. 3:16-19

I just want to share personally how I deal with difficult situations. I have
had a very hard time forgiving some things in my life, but there are 2
things I do.
1) I see myself climbing into the lap of Jesus. I do this by closing
my eyes and invisioning Him sitting with His arms open wide to me and
bidding me to come and cast all my care upon Him, because He cares
so much for me (and you!) (I Peter 5:7). When I get into His lap I pour my
my heart out to Him. I tell Him how much it hurts and how much I need
for Him to give me the strength and power to let Him handle this through
me. The more I pour it out to Him, the less it is inside eating away at me.

2) Sometimes, I sit and write Him a letter because I can write it out easier
than I can just speaking it. Then, after I have written it all out, I climb
up into His lap and pour it out to Him and ask for Him to take it from me as I
hand it over to Him. Once I have poured it out to Him. I let Him heal
my heart as only He can. I pour it out to Him, as often as I need to, until
I know the peace in my heart that only comes from Him.

You are right, Brighteyes, when you say it is too hard for you, it is. That
is why He said to cast it all on Him. The more you get it out from inside
you with Him, the more He will fill that place in your heart where the hurt,
turmoil and bitterness had once been. Remember Philippians 4:13 "I can
do all things through Christ who strengthens me." My life is wrapped up
in John 15:5-8. Verse 5 says "I am the vine, your are the branches. He
who abides (lives, dwells) in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for
without Me you can do nothing."

So, when LLJ tells you that Jesus will help you to do this, believe her. Jesus
wants to be the Father to you that you never had. He loves you so much
that He gave His very life for you so that He could be your life. I can't put
into words how strong His message of love for you was this morning when
I awoke. Let Him love on you - you'll be glad you did.

I love you too, Brighteyes!

 

[Apple]

Thank you so much for your post Kingskid. I am really touched by it. I really can't believe that God sent me a message today via you. That doesn't mean that I think that you are lying, it's just that it is so amazing!!!!!!!! Almighty God sending me a message.



The message has made me cry because you will never know how much I longed to be the 'apple of my father's eye'.

I love the idea of climbing into Jesus' lap and pouring it all out to him. I'm crying as I write this because it is such a beautiful image. I so much want to be able to do that.

I want to be like a child sitting on my daddy's lap, feeling loved, safe and secure. That is all that a child deep down wants and needs - love, safety and security.

"I can't put into words how strong His message of love for you was this morning when I awoke. Let Him love on you".

That is the most fantastic thing that I have ever been told. Thank you.

 

[Kingskid]

Believe it, Brighteyes!

It is so wonderful when Almighty God gets so up-close and personal with
us! It is very interesting to me that the verse that ministered to you the
most was the one He gave me immediately. The message He gave me was
"Tell her that she is the apple of My eye."

You truly are at the place where healing and wholeness can begin! I can't wait for the day when you ask Chad to change your name to Brighteyes!

Feel free to e-mail me all you want. God's love is going to see you through!
I have added you to my "Buddy list." I am so thankful that God has given me
such a deep, deep love for you too, my sister!

Enjoy the love of your Sweet Jesus! You are so very, very dear to Him!
:girl_hug: :rainbow: :messenger

 

[Apple]

Kingskid wrote:

It is very interesting to me that the verse that ministered to you the
most was the one He gave me immediately. The message He gave me was
"Tell her that she is the apple of My eye."


WOW!

I really am speechless!

Really?

WOW!



I was in bed this afternoon thinking about things and I came to the conclusion that if God loved me THAT MUCH, then the least that I could do would be to obey him.

If that means forgiving my abusers, then somehow, with his help, I am going to have to do it.
If we love somebody we will want to please them. I'm sure that the same goes for God.
If we love God, we will want to please him and that, for me, means forgiving my abusers.

 

[Apple]

Earlier today I asked:

If I can't forgive, then does that mean that I can't be forgiven by God and therefore, when I die I will go to hell?

What does the Bible say?

PS I know that I need to forgive and I want to obey God and forgive, but my question is simply what happens if I run out of time and haven't achieved full forgiveness before I die?

 

[ladylovesJesus]

I really do not know the answer to the question.

I pray that you will be able to forgive and get out of the prison you are bound in. God wants you to enjoy the abundant life He died to give you sweet sister.

God bless

Love in Christ :rainbow: :rose:

 

[Faithful Son]

Earlier today I asked:

If I can't forgive, then does that mean that I can't be forgiven by God and therefore, when I die I will go to hell?

What does the Bible say?

PS I know that I need to forgive and I want to obey God and forgive, but my question is simply what happens if I run out of time and haven't achieved full forgiveness before I die?

Belief in Jesus is the requirement to salvation and the pathway to Heaven sister. I wouldn't think of probabilities at this stage, if you ever think of a probability, remember that it's an unnecessary burden to carry.

Sister LadylovesJesus speaks the truth. The best thing we have is our Savior, He will keep us from harms way, and He will make sure we enter Heaven.

God bless

 

[Kingskid]

Just begin climbing into the lap of Jesus and pouring out your heart and trust
Him to lead you step by step. He's faithful to do His part! Apply His word to your heart and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be
established.