Eloping?

[DaughterofEve]

What's your opinion on eloping?
I've heard Christian girls say they want to elope.
I personally do not like the idea. I like the idea of having my father giving me away and all that. :girl:

 

[stephen]

I personally do not like the idea. I like the idea of having my father giving me away and all that.

Amen D of E Keep on that track.

God Bless You

 

[CrazyForChrist]

Its all up to your opinion. In God's eyes, marriage isnt going down to the town hall for a certificate or eloping. In his eyes it is finding your true love and your souls merge(thats a whole other converstaion). People assume that marriage under the law is the "marriage" God is talking about, but it isnt. Pray to God about it and he will reveal the answers through his pal the Holy Spirit.


Much Hugs:shade:

 

[On the Path]

If my daughter eloped it would break my heart.

I saw her as an infant baby, changed her first diaper, fed her her first spoonful of baby food, took a picture of her first steps, praised her when she learned to ride a bicycle, attended her kindergatren graduation, watched as she changed from a child to a teenager, met her first boyfriend, taught her to drive a stick shift, watched her graduate from high school, . . .

I would surely want to see her get married.
If she eloped it would break my heart because I would not be a part of the celebration.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

What's your opinion on eloping?
I've heard Christian girls say they want to elope.
I personally do not like the idea. I like the idea of having my father giving me away and all that. :girl:

I think that many elopements rise out of the young couples' thinking that parents are wrong in whatever concerns they've raised about the relationship. The young couples learn too late that those concerns were right on.

Remember the Mark mTwain quote: "When I was fourteen, my father was the dumbest man on earth. When I became twenty-one, I was amazed at how much he'd learned in seven years."

SLE

 

[gladstone]

Marraige

I have a huge family, and the thought of standing up in front of so many people makes me feel a bit panicked, but I couldn't elope. I'd want my mum and dad there, and my dad to give me away.

I think my choice would be an intimate gathering, with just close family, and then a big celebration afterwards with everyone else.

I think everyone wants to have an involvement to wish a newly married couple all the best, and an elopment denies them that.

 

[mounty]

i would love elope
Im sure it would cause up roar and our familys would go mental, but our wedding will be a big one and all i want is to be married.
I wouldent do it though, but i would love to just pack up and get married in secret no fuss, no fighting over the flowers being a slight shade of red when they should be pink.
Its crazy ,but i hope it will all be worth it.

 

[Eve]

Hi DaughterofEve,

We eloped to Mexico. It was going to be a secret but eventually pre-wedding I felt I had to tell my close family. I did have my 7 year old daughter with me (as I wanted her to be a part of it). Neither of us regret eloping to Mexico. We have wonderful and private memories of our millenium wedding on the beach. :boy_hug: :girl_hug:

It was lovely to share the video and our honeymoon travels with our family when we got home. My sister organised a surprise evening reception for us a year later. It was extremely thoughtful even though I was heavily pregnant and in shock for most of the evening! mg: My brother had organised a huge projector screen and the video of our wedding was played on a continuous loop! We had our not so first dance on the dance floor to "I would run away with you"! I am glad everyone had a good time and felt a part of the celebration.:embarasse

I am very open about our marriage and once my husband becomes a Christian, I would love to have our union blessed. However, I would still want it to be a very private, sacred service between God, our vicar and us. Our marriage was right for us and when the time is right, you should do what you feel is right for you.

God Bless

Eve

P.S. I should probably add that I was saved three years after we were married!

 

[CrazyForChrist]

Many people assume that the Marriage that is mentioned soo many times in the bible and the one here in America under law are the same. But they are not. It would be a long talk to explain these. But in Gods eye your not married if you go to a church and get married. Your married when the couple love each other and they combined to become one. This can only be done if God is willing. For it says " Let man not seperate what i have put together" So my point is, eloping isnt bad at all. Eloping is just a different way to get married under law. And marriage under law isnt impornant except for tax issues or for certain rights to one another Exp. If one of you are in the hospital then since your married under law you have the right to go be with them in the same room and such. But if you wernt married sometimes they can reject you from ebing with them in this situation. (This is if one is in critical health and is recovering and such)


So do what you want, but i have to also agree that many younge adults do it foolishly for many different reasons. If you have family, why not share it whith them?

 

[QuietProtest4t]

eveyone's different

I don't really plan on marrying anytime soon. But I do agree my sister and brother did it and the family did'nt really like it all that much. But everyone's different

 

[stephen]

We are families.......This is God's idea. Romantic though it may be to run away and marry, leaving every loved one to wonder what is happening. I know "Love is a many splendid thing......" Romance is wonderful. Precious indeed.

But what about the family? What about the folks who brought you into this world? Wiped your backside etc. and brought you up!!

The bible says......"Honour your father and mother.......and your days will be long" Days will be long........I wonder why.

Could be that establishing peace in families, recognising family, brings something to into human natures..........MmMm God said it! I believe it is important..........

 

[j4jh]

stephen you might forget that not every one get's love from his parents! some people have no supporting parents, and they dont care much about their kids. in some cases its hard for kids of this like parents to honour them.
for some of them eloping is like a runaway. yeah eloping should not happen when you have somewhat stable family. or-loving and caring family-in other words. but for those who dont have this, can you blame them? certainly you and I cant judge them.
(just wanted to point out that not everything is the same for everyone i hope you dont mad about that )

 

[Klodian]

Waw

OK its a gut question. I thing they, The ones who do this is not Christian. We must be careful to differentiate that one of Christian of not Christians. But when they are serious in the relation, I do not find it bad. It will happen at everybody at a particular moment.

 

[stephen]

stephen you might forget that not every one get's love from his parents! some people have no supporting parents, and they dont care much about their kids. in some cases its hard for kids of this like parents to honour them.
for some of them eloping is like a runaway. yeah eloping should not happen when you have somewhat stable family. or-loving and caring family-in other words. but for those who dont have this, can you blame them? certainly you and I cant judge them.
(just wanted to point out that not everything is the same for everyone i hope you dont mad about that )

Point taken brother.


God BlessYou

 

[Eve]

Hi,

I feel it is important to go with what you feel is right for your personal situation, as everyone is different. In my circumstance eloping was right for us, my father gave my sister away a couple of months after my husband and I got married.

One of the reasons I did not have a big wedding at home was because I didn't want to steal the spot light off my little sister. It was her dream to have the big perfect wedding but it was not my dream. My parents had enough to worry about with the organising and part financing of my sisters wedding. I didn't want people comparing the two weddings against each other either as we are two sisters married to two brothers!

This was our second time around for the both of us, so it was right for us. We financed it ourselves and my mother and father paid for my dress as a wedding present, which I got on sale because it was the end of the summer season here but for where I was going it was perfect. We probably missed out on having wedding gifts from extended family but we already had everything we needed so it wasn't a problem.

Sometimes honouring and respecting your parents isn't necessarily doing what your parents want...my parents would have loved to have helped organise and pay for both weddings, this would not have been fair on them they are pensioners. It was suggested at one point we could have a joint wedding but this would not have been fair on my sister. It all worked out well for everyone in the end.

God Bless

Eve

 

[j4jh]

another thought. maybe i am too much affect from TV and stories but.. eloping was usually in the 18th-19th century usually.. when people had to do exactly as their family wanted? i mean in modern times i think it will be more rare eloping.. i still think it depends on situations. and dear Eve.. what you did isnt exactly eloping! you didnt runaway.. your parents knew and helped you a bit with or atleast gave you a wedding gift.. this is not an eloping. (btw i am touched from what you did for your sister.)
in my point of view for example btw.. my parents dont want me to be christian (messianic) but basicly as part of being messianic is also to find a messianic wife (if i want to get merried basicly.) if my parents wont accept me as i am and my belifes for me wedding will be like eloping. so.. it basicly depends in many stuff..
there are many people with wierd beilfe and i think many people afraid to know that their kids became/homosexual/christians/pagans/etc.
so basicly if i declare to all that i am christian it would like i "shame" them. so basicly it wont honour them? there are some stuff that we need to consider before we decide what is wrong and what is right. there are many data's and info to consider in the equaliation (i think this is the right term?)
good week for everyone (or rather good weekend?)
GBU.

 

[Eve]

Well J4JH,

Strictly speaking it was.

elope
–verb (used without object), e·loped, e·lop·ing.

1. to run off secretly to be married, usually without the consent or knowledge of one's parents.

2. to run away with a lover.

3. to leave without permission or notification; escape.

Notice I have underlined usually but I think definition number two would apply to us best. We were not going to tell anyone before we went but I felt it right to tell very close family, it was a secret for a long time though as we booked and paid for it all months beforehand.

I did not seek permission and my parents weren't exactly thrilled about the idea to begin with. I was a little nervous about telling my parents as I didn't know what their reaction would be. My family were unable to attend and you can't runaway much further than Mexico from where we live! So although I went without permission, everyone agreed afterwards it was probably for the best that things were organised the way they were.

I don't think my Dad's heart could take two weddings to deal with in the space of two months anyway just think of the speaches!

My sister's wedding was lovely the best man was my late partner's brother, my daughter was bridesmaid and flower girl! My Dad got to give away a daughter and my family got to give my sister the best possible send off. The only difference was I was matron of honour instead of cheif bridesmaid!

God Bless

Eve

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Re: Eloping

stephen you might forget that not every one get's love from his parents! some people have no supporting parents, and they dont care much about their kids. in some cases its hard for kids of this like parents to honour them.
for some of them eloping is like a runaway. yeah eloping should not happen when you have somewhat stable family. or-loving and caring family-in other words. but for those who dont have this, can you blame them? certainly you and I cant judge them.
(just wanted to point out that not everything is the same for everyone i hope you dont mad about that )

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Ex 20:12)

"Forgive us our debts (sins) as we also forgive our debtors (those who have sinned against us)." (Mt 6:12).

Regarding how we treat absentee parents or parents who have inflicted harm on us in other ways :The commandment does not say honor your mother and father if they deserve it, or if you feel like it. God's will is for us to forgive all who sin against us just as He has forgiven us through the Cross.

If you read the full quote from Exodus 20, you see there is something in this for all of us who have been sinned against; because in forgiving, we are allowing God to lift us above the muck of anger and resentment; we will find ourselves being refreshed in His Living Water."...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14).

Its not easy to forgive after you've been hurt. Our sin nature pushes us to seek revenge in some way. I know. I harboured resentment against one of my in-laws for a very long time until I learned what unforgiveness was costing me. As followers of Jesus, we are to live in forgiveness, not harboring resentments. If we insist on living in unforgiveness and resentments we block ourselves off from God's grace.

SLE

 

[j4jh]

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Ex 20:12)

"Forgive us our debts (sins) as we also forgive our debtors (those who have sinned against us)." (Mt 6:12).

Regarding how we treat absentee parents or parents who have inflicted harm on us in other ways :The commandment does not say honor your mother and father if they deserve it, or if you feel like it. God's will is for us to forgive all who sin against us just as He has forgiven us through the Cross.

If you read the full quote from Exodus 20, you see there is something in this for all of us who have been sinned against; because in forgiving, we are allowing God to lift us above the muck of anger and resentment; we will find ourselves being refreshed in His Living Water."...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14).

Its not easy to forgive after you've been hurt. Our sin nature pushes us to seek revenge in some way. I know. I harboured resentment against one of my in-laws for a very long time until I learned what unforgiveness was costing me. As followers of Jesus, we are to live in forgiveness, not harboring resentments. If we insist on living in unforgiveness and resentments we block ourselves off from God's grace.

SLE

thanks you are right! but i didnt said its impossible to honour parents who are not caring and ignore or treat in unloving way their kids. i said its hard! also its hard to forgive but we work our best to forgive and we forgive. so we also can honour our parents in certain ways that others cant and the opposite. i think to forgive and move on from bad childhood its one way to give honour cuz we dont show and make them feel if they are also sorry and if not even that we are hurt and be mad at them forever, we show we love and care for them in that way. so yeah we should honour parents and also who have sad childhood- but for them it might be harder. we also honour our parents with our acts we show that we are "good" its honour to the parents. also if we success. there are many ways to give honour and many people have other ways to do it.
thanks for your point though, its enlighting.

P.S
Eve, i know what eloping is. but look i dont know your story but for me and what i define it which is similar, what you did isnt exactly eloping but in some manner yeah. but you didnt run away without your close family know no?
(thats what i ment.)
happy that it worked out for you.

GBU all.

 

[ga31647]

I am thinking about eloping but only because my family won't tell me when to set dress try out dates and flower stuff. I also am facing some treatments that are pretty nasty so i probably wouldn't be very pretty or feeling well for my date. this would mean the wedding had to be a year later or happen before July. Another thing is the fact that my fiancé already pays for my schooling, gas, doctors visits, etc so it's not fair we pay for everything but can not live together. I love with all of my heart and I am ready to just have to answer to him rather than my parents also. It's a complicated situation.