Desperate

[dpg3]

This is a prayer request but I guess I'm also looking for advice or what you think God mighty be saying to me, if anything. I'm very desperate, tired, worn out. I'm having a very hard time with God right now, wondering where He is, feeling isolated.
Last Dec 21, 2007 my Hershey plant closed leaving me without a very good paying job. I'm 50 years old and my body is beaten up from working manual jobs my whole life. I had some severance but that just ran out. I was hoping to go back to school but it didn't pan out. So I just starting working as a part time janitorial type cleaning job at a big nursing home. The same nursing home my Mom is in. Just one thing I absolutely hate cleaning, I hadn't done it in awhile but now that I'm back doing it, I realize how much I hate it. It's also and on call job, which means even on my days off they can call me in to work!!!!
Another practical thing is that the job is killing my body, my shoulders are sore just typing. My knees, feet and back are very sore everyday. When I was younger, I could've easily did this job but I'm not young. I can't quit cause I need the money to pay the bills. I feel very desperate right now. I took the job cause of the money and now wish I hadn't.
I could've went on Unemployment Insurance and the government may have paid for me to go back to school. Now that I'm working I'm sure they won't now.
I feel Very Very Mad at God. Here I am 50, sore all over from doing a job I hate and wondering what the future holds. The last thing I wanted was another dead end job and now I have it!!!!It doesn't look good. I don't know how long my body can hold out and if it doesn't then what can I do.
I sometimes think, the worse thing that happened to me, was being born again. I have had mostly heart ache and see no end. I was asking God all the way home from work tonight why He has deserted me. I feel like quiting the job but I can't and feel very trapped. The worse of it is, even though I work at the same home where my Mom lives, I actually see her less, cause I'm working all the time, that really kills me, she's 88 and has Alzheimer's. I pray for her all the time.

I'm asking for your prayers or if God has a word for me, cause I am at the end of my rope. I really don't want to hate God but this experience is not helping!!
Please pray, I am desperate and very very depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mike Scott]

Hi dpg3

I'm 54 now soon to hit the supposed freedom 55 what ever that's about. LOL!

After many years of the Lord hitting me over the head with a 4x4 piece of wood until I started to understand, that He is my provider!

Now this took time being that I am a guy who is a little pig headed. Here is a short story of how He got my attention and finally got me my so far job of 11 years.

At 44yrs. old I had just come back off of 2 1/2 yrs. on the mission field in Mexico. Wife and a 13yr old son/ 11 year old daughter. No money to get back into our house which we had rented out in our absence. No job cause everyone wanted the younger mechanics now. My wife still homeschooling so she can't work.

After 3 months of house sitting for friends in the church I finally was able to get a temporary stay through the winter months at a mission cottage for no cost. PTL.

A job came up that paid ok but is usually done by guys more than half my age.
Doing the green chain at a sawmill. Which is extemely physical. I always thought myself tough and in ok shape. Haaaaaa!!!!!!! Guess whos body was screaming at him at the first coffee break and by the end of the shift I had to sit on the bench for awhile until most had left and then find the energy to go home. This went on for 7 months. The job from hell. The fellow workers language was extremely bad. At the mission there was no swearing, none. So talk about re-entry shock into society.

Boy did I whine and gripe to the Lord but He was silent?????
Then one day I even tore a forearm muscle early in the shift and wasn't pulling my load of work and one guy almost rearranged my face but he walked away swearing alot. I thought that's it I've had it!!

Later that night I did something that I had stop doing through this time of hard work. I prayed, actually kinda yelled out at Him for a while. He must have been looking down kinda smiling waiting for me to get over my tantrim, then a job opening at a camp opened up the next day, which I applied for and right away happily ever after, NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.4 months went by and He kept me on this faith walk still having me work at my job from hell.

Then it happened, the perfect job did come and not only was it in the area but on the same island.
So I got down on my knees and asked for His forgiveness for ever doubting His provision for myself and our family. There has been very interesting struggles even here with this new job, but there always was a purpose behind them of growing me and maturing my walk with Him.

I don't have an easy answer to your situation except trust in Him. Thank Him for where you are right now. There is nothing wrong with saying whats next Lord. If He is quiet,
then ask Him what are you to learn from this present challenge or test?

Remember He will never leave or forsake you. That is not just pie in the sky statement but a promise directly from Him.

Claim His promises from His word and seek Him. (If you will seek Me you will find Me, if you seek Me with all your heart, mind and soul.) This requires reading His word again. Don't be like me and give up and not find any feeding for my soul from His word. I litteraly starved myself for far too long. But He waited patiently and won.

Keep me updated as to how you do the next while. Cause I do care about you my brother in Christ. May He bless you.

Mike
aka grizzly in Christ.

 

[WithUsAlways]

The lord will always provide for us so please don’t worry.
Instead of being mad at God ask for his guidance.

I pray for you that you been shown a new path where you are able rest your body but continue to work and make a difference.

Please don’t feel alone as you will always have us and above all you will always have the Lord.
The Lord will never leave you this was his promise to us. Put you faith in him and he will show you the way!

God Bless You
:friends:

 

[Mr. Armenian]

HI DPG3.

Wow.

You've got a lot on your plate here. I just noticed something. The postings here are all by Canucks. We're part of a Canadian Connection! (insert bad joke here)

Anywho - I don't know what to tell you - it sounds like a pretty crummy situation - but it's all part of what GOD has planned for you. Please......DON'T GIVE UP FAITH in our Lord Jesus Christ. He has a plan, always keep that in mind.

I did pray to The Lord - that He opens up some new doors for you for employment. And that he renews your shaken faith in him. I truly want you to i)Not be mad at God and ii)Be content in your work.

God Bless You.

 

[stephen]

dpg3 My heart reaches out to you. Life can be tough when you know the Lord, I hate to think how tough it must be without Him, and without the joy Salvation brings.

I am sure He will take care of you. You may be the Cleaner, but with Jesus you can become the head Cleaner.....

God has a thousand ways to answer every prayer,
And when I stand in need I know that He is there.
No good will He withhold, from children in His care
A thousand ways has Jesus to answer every prayer.


God Bless You......Praying

 

[redfox]

Dear Dpg3,

I cannot begin to imagine how hard everything must be for you right now. But my heart goes out to you as does my prayer.

I can't offer you much wisdom as I am very young and without experience, but I can offer you my heart and my prayers. I will support you by praying.

I felt reminded of Jeremiah 17:14-17 [NIV]

"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise.

They keep saying to me,
"Where is the word of the LORD ?
Let it now be fulfilled!"
I have not run away from being your shepherd;
you know I have not desired the day of despair.
What passes my lips is open before you. Do not be a terror to me;
you are my refuge in the day of disaster. "

I know that things must be so hard for you, but bring all your burdens to God and he will carry you and comfort you and love you more than anybody else can.

Love Jack

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings dpg3,

Hope your last few days were better than the ones before.

Something puzzled me about what you said:

I sometimes think, the worse thing that happened to me, was being born again. I have had mostly heart ache and see no end. I was asking God all the way home from work tonight why He has deserted me.

and I mean really puzzled me.

How do you equate having a job you don't like with being born again as the worst thing that happened to you?
I don't get it. Maybe I'm thick as a brick? It just doesn't make sense to me.
I could go on for some time about the pro's and con's of where you work and the type of work you do, and not seeing your mum as much and even whether or not God has a lesson in it for you. But, first, how do you work out that logic that you stated?

I will pray for you, even now....

Can I ask you to consider a couple of things?

How does a man in a country like say, North Korea, or some other Jesus hating nation, who was in the same situation as you are...although that is totally impossible due to the fact you have so much freedom where you are, how does that man, who could be shot or sent to a hard labour camp for even suggesting Jesus to another man or for joining a Christian forum, how does a man in that situation deal with the question of God deserting him? Come on, please tell me.

I encourage you to take a really good look around the world and then count your blessings. I am not having a go at you, brother....just giving you some ammo against the evil one who is doing his best to destroy your faith and love of God.
Brother, you can't blame God for things being tough. Do you have two working eyes? Ears? Legs? Hands? Or perhaps only one of either? This may sound pretty hard hitting, but that is OK cos it seems fit to hit the one who died for you with all sorts of hurting remarks, so, fair is fair...isn't it?

Have you tried eating scraps of food out of a public garbage bin lately? You can get some tasty morsels sometimes. I've had to do it. And sleep in the rain, etc... (as a Christian)
I encourage you, not judge you. We are dealing with an evil enemy who wants us to complain our salvation away, and you seem to be giving in to him.
Do you read the Bible ? The Word of God? If not, by the sounds of your post, you really should.

I wish I could take you to some places and show you some things. Brother,
OK, you don't like your work. Fair enough. Can I suggest you go to work for Jesus tomorrow, or when ever you next go? When you get there, remember to let Him know you are there and ready to work for Him. Then go about your shift doing everything as unto the Lord.

Did you ever have any dirtiness in you that needed cleaning up? Uncleanliness?
Imagine the King of Glory, leaving His palace of Heaven and even becoming a servant with nowhere to rest His head, getting threatened and chased, and overworked to the max, all to clean up your mess. Do you think He got any pay for it? I think it was three nails, a crown of nasty, spiky, vicious thorns, a jab in the guts with a savage spear, and for a bonus, because He did such a good job, He was given a terrific whipping and even had His beard ripped.... and spat on, amongst other things.
get the picture?

Did I hear He deserted you?
No, I don't think so, somehow, but on the contrary, if it would make any difference, He would do it all again..... but if they don't believe so far after all He endured for our sakes, they certainly would not believe if He went through it all again.

Sure, life is tough, things are not all groovy, and we wish often it could be all different.
In your talking with God, do you ever discuss with Him about the fruit of the Spirit? I am not sure if you know much about gardening, but it takes a lot of hot sun to ripen the fruit. Some plants need freezing cold winters, and most need bees and critters all over them to be able to even come close to bearing fruit. Why did God use fruit to talk about the Spirit?

Same as turning the other cheek - we need a good slap in the one cheek first, in order to turn the other.

How much time do you get free? You use a PC, so maybe you sould think and pray about using it to do other work? There is plenty of it out there. So what if you're 50 or even 60...you could still find work if you wanted to. The bills you need to pay, can you cut down on them? Take some stress off your needs, and make it easier to survive on less, and do another job? Can you afford a drive into the countryside one day off and sit quietly with the Lord? Do you eat healthy type of food? It can make a huge difference to aches and pains. Did you say you drove a car? Could you walk or ride a bike?
Look at some of the problems, and ask yourself : if they really bug you and you don't like them, could you make any of them beter. Just try one at a time. Aim towards bettering your situation and walk in that direction.
Perhaps give some of your spare time to the needy, or sick or imprisoned?

I will pray for you my dear brother. Don't let things get you down...you weren't born again for that. You are very precious and so greatly loved.
Others have said, rightly so, that the Lord will never forsake you. Will you forsake Him? That is the question you need to look at.

I have questioned like you do....many times (shamefully, far too many times! Once is too many and I might hold the record!). And NEVER once has the Lord forsaken me. What He has done is show me gently, His grace. This makes me acutely aware that I DO NOT DESERVE A SINGLE THING. So, I start counting my blessings.....and He lets me stew in my filth long enough to fully realise where I am in Him and how I got there.
---------------------><>

Dear Father, please shine immense loads of your love upon my brother, dpg3 and fill him with joy and gladness and pour blessings upon him in every way that he may rejoice in everyday and sing praises to your glorious name .....
and Lord, please if it's OK with you Lord, could you give him a nicer job, one more suited to his health and bodily ability, and Lord could you also open a door wide for him, my beloved brother, dpg3, to undertake some wholesome study, and please give him time off to seek you out in a quiet place..
and Father, could you also arrange for him to see his mother more often ..

and please bless him in a most special way for being brave enough to be honest enough to write in with his plea for help, in Jesus name I ask, Father....in Jesus name....
oh, and Lord, please show him the strength you offer to all those who come to you for strength that with your srength, dear Lord my brother can endure the things of his life with hope and joy....

thank you Father, thank you Jesus, bless you....amen.

 

[Fellowservant]

I'm asking for your prayers or if God has a word for me, cause I am at the end of my rope. I really don't want to hate God but this experience is not helping!!
Please pray, I am desperate and very very depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will be praying for you brother, you must keep your faith high and not be full of doubt. James says if you ask God in doubt you won't recieve anything from him. So pray about this yourself as well, anger at God is not a good way to receive anything from him. May his mercy come upon you and drive them doubts away. Hold in there with prayer. If you show God your faith, he will answer you sooner or later. The scripture says he will never leave you or forsake you. So we can boldly say as Paul says, what David says, the lord is my helper i will not fear what men can do unto me.

Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Heb 13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

God bless

 

[dpg3]

Update

I've just been reading the posts here and they are very encouraging. My physical situation has actually gotten worse. Last summer I hurt my back, I had physio which helped a bit but not much. Just lately after some more tests I found out i have a compressed disk in my back. So now everyday as I work I have this debilitating pain in my back. I can tolerate it most days but it certainly adds to my depression knowing I'll have this for the rest of my life. So please pray for the disk in my back I really need help there. I may go back to the gym but that will be a very long process.
I have a test coming up this week for a bus operators job. But due to my sleep apnea and other physical problems I'm not sure if it is the right job for me. Most days the apnea has me exhausted. Is it God's will I'm not sure?
I'm also thinking of moving to a cheaper apt. as my job barely pays for my needs. Thinking of moving into government housing it's cheaper but usually in much worse areas of town. I like my present apt, it's quiet but getting too expensive. It would be good to be closer to work but I'm worried about the neighborhood I might have to move into to get a cheaper place. I lived in a fairly violent neighborhood for about 5 years and really don't want to live in that type of a place again. But I may have no choice. I have a lot of issues on my plate.
So please keep me in prayer.

 

[Boanerges]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time my friend, I will be praying for you.
Do not be mad at God as He is the only One who can really help you.
He promised us tribulation but He also promised to be with us as we went through our trials.

 

[sunshine2]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time my friend, I will be praying for you.
Do not be mad at God as He is the only One who can really help you.
He promised us tribulation but He also promised to be with us as we went through our trials.

When life gets the hardest for me, I spend my days counting my blessings. they are many. Most people don't see blessing as blessings, i like to start with, Thanking the Lord, that I am saved and will spend eternity with him and my loved ones in heaven and that I can speak, walk, eat normally today, that I have a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in at night. my blessings always outweigh my trials many times over if I will just be sure to count each little one as well as the big ones. praying for you.