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dealing with low self-esteem

Hi all!

I recently got a mail from a woman with a very low self-esteem. Her mother got sick during birth and has never been the same again. She has since then used pills to take the tops and the bottoms in her life. She has got the diagnosis: "manio depression" - (I don`t know if that is the right word). Her daughter, the woman I am talking about, has missed her mother. The mother has done the laundry and cooked dinner but that`s it. Now this daughter is 37 year old and keep people 5 foot away. Her low self-esteem makes it difficult in making relationships, but also between her and her husband,kids and friends.

She wrote to me today and asked me for advice.

She wrote. "I just want to be me. How can I be set free from low-self-steem"?

Can you give me an advice her e please!

Thank you!
Andreas, First & foremost - pray for wisdom. God has placed her in your path for you to minister to for a reason & He will provide the wisdom for you to do so, but you must ask Him. Is she a Christian? This might be an open door to accepting Christ if she isn't - although she probably won't be open to that at first. If she is a Christian, this could be a time of strengthening her faith as she deals with things that are so deep & personal.

How well do you know her? Sometimes having a listening ear can be of so much help. It does sound like the roots to her problem go very deep & cover many years...a quick fix probably won't happen. I know God can & does do that at times, but at times He doesn't & I wouldn't want either of you to become discouraged if that be the case.

Low self esteem is something many of us suffer with to some degree. Maybe a beginning point for her would be to list the things she doesn't like about herself. Even small things matter....& she can start with making some changes in those areas first. Once she sees an improvement & a positive outcome in something, it will inspire her to continue on.

I know several others on the board will have helpful advice....I hope this helps a bit.
Hi Sapphire!

Thank you so much for your answer. I aprreciate it very much.

Yes, she is a Christian and she is struggling to recieve love - this effect her Christian life as well. She is more concerned about condemnation and doom.

I can`t say I know her that well. I met her on a prayer board and we have corresponded about spiritual things for about a month. Little by little she is opening up for help in this area. I have prayed for wisdom and that I must receveive the right words to say.

Thanks again!
Hi Andreas,
I would encourage to continue supporting this woman with prayer as you now are.
Interestingly, last night I was going over some verses the kids at church are memorizing and the young man was going over Matt. 18:1-35 with me. So seeing this reminded me of Matt. 18:21-35 about the Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor and the last verse is the key:
35 "This is how my havenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brothers from your heart." NIV
We all go through struggles, God doesn't promise a life of "no worries," but He promises He will walk with us.
Recently I was listening to a CD by Newsboys and the song went "it's all about me, me, me, me." How true that is of our society, "I was wronged," "I was treated bad." We tend to focus on our "needs" are but we have to focus on God's needs for us to do. I went through some terrible stuff growing up, I spent a lot of time focused on me and how it effected me, my anger, my bitterness but once I gave it to God and gave Him control over me He changed my view, my life isn't about me and my needs but it is about what can I do for Him with the life He had given me. It's a daily struggle to leave my past behind but you know what? He took it away, it doesn't consume me, I use what has happened to for His glory.
So help your friend give them scripture to focus their mind on.
Sometimes God points the way and its up to you to learn how to deal with the depression on your own with the assistance of His strength.Example: when you first learned to walk your parents showed the way but in the end it was up to you to learn how.To gain confidence,and learn how to use God's guidance.If God simply removed all temptations from us,how would we gain strength in the Spirit.It is her Faith that will heal her.She can overcome this, God is with her.Low esteem, she is made new through Jesus,if she accepts Jesus,then she must accept that low esteem is not in her life,and learn to leave it behind.Sometimes it can be used as a crutch.She must have faith that God will provide and step out of it.We must not use all the things that happen to us in our lives for excuses of what we are now.They are the signs that bring us to self awareness,that we are helpless and must realize that only with a greater power that our own will we conquer them.Otherwise we will continue to drift in a sea of darkness and dispair.