Christian Divorce

[stanshall]

Hello to all blessed,

Here's a question that some of you may have tackled but I need feedback. If you are divorced, and no adultery was committed during the marriage, does this mean you can not, as a Christian, remarry? In Scripture Jesus states adultery as the only reason for divorce. Paul states if you are a widow, you can remarry. One pastor I talked to stated as long as it was legal, marriage was allowable but that was his personal viewpoint. Another Bible teacher told me it depended on whether my ex spouse remarried again, and if she did, the covenant before God was broken by her, allowing the other spouse to remarry.
If I go by what Scripture states (as mentioned before), I can no longer date or remarry again, since I do not know if my former spouse is alive or remarried. I'd appreciate some feedback from Biblical scholars. My personal perception is I can date but never in an intimate physical manner.

 

[B-A-C]

There are three scriptural reasons a marriage can end. In two of these cases you are allowed to re-marry.

[1]
Matt 5:31; "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE';
Matt 5:32; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matt 19:8; He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
Matt 19:9; "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Matt 19:10; The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
Matt 19:11; But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

If you ex-wife has re-married, most would say it's safe to consider she has been unfaithful. The other part of this is... have you been faithful up until this point?

[2]
1 Cor 7:12; But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1 Cor 7:13; And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
1 Cor 7:14; For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1 Cor 7:15; Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

If she initiated the divorce (not you) and you have reason to believe she was not a saved believer when this happened...

[3]
Rom 7:1; Or do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to those who know the law), that the law has jurisdiction over a person as long as he lives?
Rom 7:2; For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.
Rom 7:3; So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.

===========================================================

I hesistate to bring this up, as it sounds like I am condoning divorce ( I assure you, I am not ) however...
David committed adultery with another mans wife, and had the man killed. However David was forgiven, and later called "a man after God's own heart".

1 Cor 7:9; But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

[susans]

Oh dear, the dreaded d word. It's a topic I have lived through twice and I for one hate divorce. Yet here I am in my third marriage and each one makes life even more complicated. I realize that this isn't what God planned for my life but what is done is done. Thank goodness my God is forgiving and loves me. I do. Believe that my marriage, even though it's a third is a covenant and I shall make it as a commitment to God. I will lift my husband up to God in prayer and. Be thankful for him. But still I hate divorce.

 

[stanshall]

To B-A-C

Yes, I was faithful to my wife during my marriage. As for adultery, according to Jesus, yes. I did think lustful thoughts of other images on TV, etc. but not in a physical fleshy way. I was different then compared to today & am born again, saved and baptized in His name only. I am obedient to His word. I interpret Scripture to mean if I am going to walk with Him from hereon, I must remain single, give up all fleshy thoughts of this world, and pray to Him when the devil puts thoughts in me contrary to His eternal words. Which in conclusion means not dating ever again or even considering remarriage. Paul states (among many other things) that adulterers and fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

 

[susans]

One unforgivable sin is blasphemy

 

[susans]

To clarify, I was faithful in my previous marriages but my 1st husband was not. My second husband left me. The bible says if they are determined to go to let them. As I said before. I hate divorce and am not proud of them. I shared in hopes to help others. Not to argue my past

 

[stanshall]

Susans,

I do not by any means state any negative thoughts regarding your previous marriages. For me to be judgmental against anyone, good or bad, when I know even I am going to be judged, would be the ultimate in hypocrisy. My ex spouse was married twice before we got married. I didn't condemn her when she explained her reasons (her first one dying of a heart attack, her second one pointing a gun threatening to kill her). I loved her regardless. But love and the fleshy desires cannot save a marriage alone. It takes making Jesus as the focal point in the center of the marriage. That's my personal view.
As for blasphemy being "the" unforgivable sin, against The Holy Spirit, some have different perspectives. If I know in my heart Jesus is Savior of this world, and I willingly reject Him to pursue sin against His will, I would consider that as unforgivable. And in this present evil world we are now momentarily in, I've seen many willing to lose their souls in rejecting him, not wanting to think about the consequences awaiting them when their appointed hour arrives. Many live for their own self pleasures only and could care less about loving their neighbors before themselves. Please excuse me for sounding pessimistic about humanity in general, but if you place more faith there than in God, you are going to be very disappointed.

 

[susans]

Yes, I understand and all is well. Since my third marriage I have settled it all with Christ. My soul is at peace, praise God!

 

[KingJ]

Hello to all blessed,

Here's a question that some of you may have tackled but I need feedback. If you are divorced, and no adultery was committed during the marriage, does this mean you can not, as a Christian, remarry? In Scripture Jesus states adultery as the only reason for divorce. Paul states if you are a widow, you can remarry. One pastor I talked to stated as long as it was legal, marriage was allowable but that was his personal viewpoint. Another Bible teacher told me it depended on whether my ex spouse remarried again, and if she did, the covenant before God was broken by her, allowing the other spouse to remarry.
If I go by what Scripture states (as mentioned before), I can no longer date or remarry again, since I do not know if my former spouse is alive or remarried. I'd appreciate some feedback from Biblical scholars. My personal perception is I can date but never in an intimate physical manner.

Did you leave her? If you did you need to try reconcile with her.

You mention thoughts in post # 4. No. Thoughts are sin but not grounds for divorce. Jesus clarifies what He says in Matt 5:28 four verses later in Matt 5:32 and in Matt 19:9. There has to be actual adultery.

 

[B-A-C]

God's first choice is for them to be reconciled. ( 1 Cor 7:11; ) However....

Deut 24:1 "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,
Deut 24:2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife,
Deut 24:3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife,
Deut 24:4 then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.

If either of them has been with someone else... they are not to be reconciled.

 

[Sue D.]

@B-A-C -- I'll admit I've been surprised that a woman Can't return to her first husband to reconcile That original marriage.

In past years, it seems like there was a couple who'd been married and divorced Three times to each other. Don't remember what they did end up doing.

Also find it 'interesting' that -- at least in the Old Testament -- it was assumed to be the fault of the woman -- never the man. The woman did Not have any "voice".

 

[B-A-C]

@B-A-C -- I'll admit I've been surprised that a woman Can't return to her first husband to reconcile That original marriage.

In past years, it seems like there was a couple who'd been married and divorced Three times to each other. Don't remember what they did end up doing.

Also find it 'interesting' that -- at least in the Old Testament -- it was assumed to be the fault of the woman -- never the man. The woman did Not have any "voice".

Perhaps you are right, ancient Israel wasn't known for their feminist culture On the other hand... perhaps this was God's plan all along.
But to tell the truth, I've always taken this as a two edged sword. What if the woman remained chaste and faithful, but the husband didn't.
I think the same rules apply even if the husband broke the rules.

I take the new testament the same way.

Matt 5:31; "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE';
Matt 5:32; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

What if the husband didn't want the divorce, but the wife did? I've always taken these two verses to be... "ahem.." gender neutral. (do I dare even say that).
Before anyone asks... no I don't believe in non-genders.

 

[Sue D.]

@B-A-C --- well -- other than the fact that there's no such thing as 'gender neutral' --- only time there's a non-gender is if a baby is born with no genitalia which is pretty rare.

Society sure has come up with some 'strange' concepts.