Brother In Law in Darkness

[girlforgod]

This is sooo long, sorry! I would just like your completely unbiased advice on a situation we are dealing with at our house. My sweet husband is in turmoil over this. Here it is:

About 2 1/2 years ago, my brother in law (who was married to a topless dancer, doing heavy drugs, having extra-maritial affairs and hadn't worked in 1 and 1/2 years) called my husband and said he felt like his life was falling apart and he wanted to move to where we live and stay with us. My husband told him he could stay with us only if he put God first. He brought his 6 year old daughter and moved in and my husband got him a job.

My husband began witnessing to him and he said that he had "already accepted Christ right before he moved down". He went to church with us but smoked marijiuna morning, noon and night and starting "staying over" at the single women's house next door. My husband and I took care of and prayed for his little girl.

We told him that if he wanted to live that way he was going to have to move. He moved out and in with a topless dancer he met and had known for one week. Then he met another girl, moved in with her and said he changed his life for God. Then we get a call he is going to kill himself. He is at this point addicted to oxycotten. He wasn't really going to kill himself, he was just upset b/c he was cheating and did not know who to choose. He moves in with the girl he was cheating with.

Next thing we know he is on the outs with her and moves in with an old friend, ex con and drug dealer. This whole time he is going to church!! He gets kicked out of the drug dealers house for reasons you can only imagine and moves in with a girl he met at a bar that "believes in God."

Skip to right now...he is in jail b/c the last girl says he assaulted her. He has already been indicted but says "he didn't do it." Then he gets mad at my husband when he won't help him. He says we aren't helping a Christian brother.

Here's my question: He obviously is not living for God no matter what he says and darkness has a hold of him. My husband is tortured in his spirit b/c he doesn't know what to do. As Christians, should we continue to minister to him and help him? Or should we not associate with darkness unless at church? Is there a balance? When my hubby tries to help or even council him, he gets drug into it somehow-can he borrow money, a vehicle, can he come pick him up...it's endless.

I pray constantly for this man my husband loves so dearly and just wish I knew the answers to his questions like how can he claim to be a Christian and go to church every Sunday and be so deep in these messes? Please give me any scripture you have, I thank you so much TJ.

 

[Mike]

Girlforgod . Jesus said , that if anyone put's their hand to the plow , then looks back . They are not fit for the kingdom of heaven . The answer might be in the question . Is this person hindering you from growing , and doing what God has planned for you and you're husband ? If he is , then you have to let him go .

You're brother -in-law is perishing because he has no vision for his life . My people perish , because of lack of understanding , or vision ! If you continue with this man , he must start to develop a vision as to where he is going in life . You and you're husband can help him develop a vision through the word of God . Once the vision is clear , you must make him accountable to both you and you're husband , to follow through with what he knows to do ! If he leaves the vision , then you leave him !

I am saying this because of my past with my family members , and close friends . I have left all my family behind , to serve Christ . I do have one brother committed to the lord , and another who constantly falls away from the Lord . I love them both with all my heart , but I have found that if the devil cannot destroy you're house through you . He will send hardluck people , who play on you're love walk , only to be used by satan to steal you're peace , finances , family time , and cause division in you're house !

I say this because the hardest thing I have had to do , is tell my oldest son he had to leave our home ! He grew up a Christian , and we have done all we can to help him turn around his life . But his life was stealing my marriage , my kids peaceful home , my wife cried day and night , and him and I were constantly at odds ! I love my son , but God is my priority ! He was being used to steal Gods best for my family and he had vision , but never followed through ! He had to go !

What I learned from that is that another ten bucks wont solve anything ! God wanted me to trust him with my son . I struggle all the time , because I see him killing himself . But had I not did what I did , my marriage and family would have fell apart ! Please pray over what I have shared with you , and ask yourself the same question I did . Is this keeping me from moving forward in the Lord ! I hope I helped you . I love you and will pray for you also . Love Mike :boy_hug:

 

[sparky]

Hey girlforgod i really feel your pain.My two brothers over the last couple of years have really lost the plot with getting invoved with drugs,fighting and stuff i cant even discuss here.It really has broken my heart and i have lost countless nights sleep worrying over them,expecting a phone call to say either one of them has died.There is only so much you can do as a concerned family member and if your brother-in-law really did at one time accept jesus as his saviour then there is always hope.I dont want to preach at you but the example of the prodigal son is always worth a read,someone can make a real turnaround but they have got to want to do it.The trouble in our respective situations is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 15v33-"do not be misled bad associations spoil useful habits".It reaches a point where in trying to help a lost one you come into danger of being contaminated yourself.Didnt you mention you have a family yourself,surely there welfare is the most important thing to you.Just last week my older brother rang me to say my younger one was in hospital after being beat up by a drugdealer,hes justs 17,in my eyes hes still my little baby brother.I feel i have done everything i can and now just try and tune out what is going on in there lives,They are both decent lads deep down,i pray for them continually and have left it in the lords hands.I suggest you do the same.

 

[girlforgod]

Brothersinarms, thank you for sharing your story, and also sparky, I thank you. I know we all have people in our lives trapped in their sin until they find redemption and it helps to know other brothers and sisters have struggled also with these same things. Sometimes it does cause dissention and argueing among our family. Lately it has just been stressful like Sparky said, waiting for a call to say he is hurt or even killed from some shady situation. My heart confirms upon reading these words that you are right. We both have to hand him over to the Lord and trust in him. The truest thing you both said is to trust God with him. I know we can't change anything, only God can. Thank you for your words of comfort and wisdom.