@Br. Bear
The key in life came from Jesus himself, 'Love one another as I have loved you'
In general I think we all do, but we are human, as Jesus said 'The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'.
Life isn't easy, no one said it would be, Jesus said, 'Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have enough issues of its own', but He also said He will always be there for us, and that we should 'Come until Jesus, give our issues and burdens to Him, He will guide our paths'. Being born-again does not mean we are free from worldly issues, worldly troubles, pain and suffering, weeping and crying, although some evangelists would try make us think differently, but Jesus promises to remove all this removing pain and suffering, removing weeping and crying, not in our current life, but soon we will have new resurrected bodies, and live on the New Heaven/Earth with our Lord.
But coming back to the current earth, we have a life, we may have issues, most people do, but we should still be able to wake up each day, whether rain or shine, we should be able to sing at the top of our voices 'This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice in it',even if the pain and suffering is driving us into the ground.
The following is not in correct paragraphs, just groups into a small few.
If we only considered every one we see or speak to hides their feelings, we all wear a mask, we only share somethings with some people, if we thought, we would be more sympathetic. As for me I have had a life's beating, used to say I was the devil's football, but it gave me strength to keep getting up, hard as it was at times. My mother walked out when I was two and a half, my dad only came home one weekend in four till I was gone eight. I was brought up by a nanny who was a strict Victorian attitude woman. I was so often locked in my room and constantly had illnesses and nightmares. At five I had measles it left me considerably deaf, I had illness after illness. At ten and a half my dad married another woman who was only twenty one, I hated her, issues started between my dad and her and the nanny and all hell broke loose, my younger brother and myself would fight back, setting one against another. At twelve I was made go to church, to learn how to be good, talk about the log in the eye! A new vicar had come to the village, Mr Nice Guy, we were encouraged into the choir, then to the vicarage, then sexually abused, I broke away twice but he gave my brother and two mates sweets and cakes, eventually I went back and it happened again, same a third time. I was screwed up, becoming wild, I did what I wanted to do, no one would tell me what to do, I hit the drink and had no issues with girls, except now knowing it was sex, I had no second thoughts. I got a job as an apprentice and at seventeen and a half was working inside a concrete tunnel when it all came in, it took five guys to lift it, I was not conscious for two days, I was off work five and a half months, did I get compensation, No! I got loss of wages at £11 per week! I met another girl, it got me away from home, we married, then I started playing the field and drinking again, we broke up, I went back to try make a go of it, she became pregnant with twins. I was in a dilemma, what could I do, couldn't go back it would break up again, only now I had met another woman, the first person ever to love me. I didn't know love, I created my own life, but this was different. We cried, then my first wife met another guy, they wanted to adopt the children, I didn't want to allow it, I knew I had to, eventually it was allowed I would never see them again. The woman I let, the first person to love me, is my wife of over forty years and she still loves me though we been through lots more together. I became a workaholic, I have since been told it was because I was always running away from the past, my business grew and grew, temptation always comes, then a strange thing happened, my landlord increased my rent by over 50%, I was fiery in those days, I gave him a months notice thinking I would get another place, it didn't happen and we lost everything. It was hard times, a friend had tried to introduce me to Jesus, I told him where to go, but not politely, Bible basher.
Then a door opened and we moved 300 miles and made a fresh start, but it was not plain sailing and there were issues after issue. But out of the blue I started to read Everyday with Jesus, then one day I said to my wife, 'I am going to church on Sunday', she said WHAT! She know how I had bitterly rejected anything to do with God, Jesus etc, I hated the vicars guts. But it happened. My wife was so convinced I wouldn't go she drove me there, she dropped me off and watched. It was an anglican church though it didn't mean much to me at the time, but the Sunday I decided to go, the Sunday my wife took me, the place was closed! Closed on a Sunday! I saw a lady near the hall, she said everyone was at the mother church it was a special service, I said where is that, she told me. I got in the car my wife asked what was wrong, I said it is closed, they at the mother church, she said she knew where it was and asked did I want to go, I said yes, there was 5 minutes left! I went and it was packed, I didn't know this many people went to church! I walked down the isle couldn't find a seat, then I found one so sat and pretended to pray. Everyone got up so I did also, a lady came over took her coat and walked away nodding to the man next to me. Then I saw the sign, 'Church Warden'. For the next hour and a bit I was certain this guy was going to have a go at me for pinching his wife's seat, this was the world, that was as I was. Those who knew me always said, if I didn't like someone they may as well be dead! Nothing I am proud of but I had to fight in life, what ever I did I was knocked down, I get up and fight till next time, and next time. Time went on and I had repented and given my life to the Lord, but the fight was inside not outside now, every time I prayed I broke down, I was being set free. I was a SINNER, big time, I was an adulterer, I had married a previously marries woman (who loves me) she was a sinner and an adulterer, but I was washed clean, every sin wiped away. I wanted this for my wife also, but it wasn't meant to be, a raging spiritual battle started, she set against me and set the kids against me, how can this be, I come to God through Jesus and my wife was going to leave me, with the kids, I had already lost three previously. It got so bad I couldn't have my Bible on show in the house, I even had to stop going to church to try save the marriage. But God provides, His ways are not our ways, as hard as things are a little light will show at times, I had to stop going to church and then incredibly, in my work, I met a guy and his wife, later to find he was a retired Pentecostal minister. I had fellowship with them in my lunch breaks, they know I had issues before I told them, but I never told them everything. Eventually I managed to go back to the first church, but still had fellowship with the couple, but things were far from right, they also picked up I had many issues and again I only shared so much.When you been hurt in life so many times you trust no one, no one would hurt me again! I shared a little with 7 people, from 3 different churches, none of the groups knew the others. They all knew there were family issues, I had gone that far, they all know I was frightened of losing my wife and two children, they did not know about the other three. Strangely we all prayed the same, 'Lord restore my family and make it whole',only when I laid it at the alter, at the feet of our I Lord I prayers the same words but restore All my family and make it whole. We prayed for three and a half years, then I heard from a daughter from the first marriage, then the son, but one held back. Incredibly a few months later after meeting the first one, another incredible story about that, the other girl wanted contact also. And it all happened, and we went to the lasts ones wedding seven months later, and my first wife and present wife were all there. God is incredible but He had work to do on me and I wasn't ready for it. I had shared my past and what happened with the daughter first met, she drained every ounce out of me but I felt she had to be told, meanwhile I was on a low, I saw my doctor and mentioned a counsellor, but was thinking of a Christian counsellor, one was in his practice that morning, and then started eight months of living through everything from three year old onward. After eight month I called an end I had had enough, she felt there was unfinished business, things still lurking that had not been dealt with. Depression hit me like a bulldozer and I lost my job. We moved back 300 miles and then my his and back issues from the accident started and continued to worsen from then on. I hit lower than low, the black hole got deeper and deeper, there was no light at the end of the tunnel and if there was it was probably a train coming my way, I tried to climb out, like up a ladder but the rungs broke and deeper I went. I planned to hang myself, I had even placed orders for tow rope to be delivered, I only needed to add timber to loft hatch and candle wax the nylon rope. My wife found out in time, I do not know how. I was given another hard time question after question, I was the man the provider I couldn't provide anymore, in earthly terms I was a wreck, we talked, well she did most of it and it was mostly questions, Within six months I picked up she did craft, I played on internet so set up a craft business. It grew and grew, disabled yes, unable no, I was not for lying down, I was not for giving up, the fight in me was back, though I was a wreck.
Meanwhile my wife's dad got vascular dementia, it was hard work, but between us we cared for him, but within a year her mum got it also, it was a nightmare. First to see the changes and issues, second to have two of them with it at the same time, her dad lasted just over two to three years form that point, her mum another two years, it was so hard and my wife was so close to her dad. Cutting things short my wife was devastated when her dad died, but he asked her to care for her mother to the end, she did, we did, but she got so close to her mum i the last period, before the home in it, in and out of hospital it was not stop. In the middle of this I had issues also, a double hernia down into my sack, but there was complications, at 40 years old I had another accident, the medical profession gave me 13 prescribed drugs, I was the yellow man in isolation ward, I almost died of liver failure. Although my liver is now stable it is susceptible to drugs and I cannot have anaesthetic, they had to inject my back and do it whilst I was awake, the pain took two years to go. Just prior to the operation, we put the business up for sale, we sold it in weeks, PTL, we were able to move from our rented property as we had lost everything into a bungalow, thanks be to God. My wife's mum and dad passed away and we have been able to move back 300 miles to our new home last June. God works in wonderful yet at time mysterious ways, but he is always at work. Did my wife's parents accept Jesus, we tried but it is doubtful, my wife asks where they are, I have to tell her we won't know until we go to heaven and see. Have our children accepted Jesus, no. But my wife now has, within this last year, never give up, God answers prayer.
You see we all have issues we don't talk about, my wife and myself were married twenty years before she found out much of my past, even then she couldn't understand why I could tell someone else, another woman, a counsellor and not tell her. I was forty before I shared anything, probably 50 before other stuff was shared, now I can, I am free. It doesn't mean I am not suffering daily, I hurt every day, I struggle to hear I am so deaf, I had three strokes between the ages of 54 and 61, each affected my eyes, I have double vision, there is more but I have said enough, we never know what another person is experiencing, we never know how they are trying to cope with one thing or another, Jesus says, love one another as I have loved you, good advice I think, good medicine also. Putting the above to one side I consider myself lucky, I am still on earth, though heaven would be better, I am still alive and can love my wife for all the love she has given me, I can learn scripture and prepare to be with the Lord, my mottle from a young age, there is always someone worse off, if there isn't they are out of it and do not know. But whilst we have breath we can pray for the lost souls and those less fortunate than us.
Sue my heart felt feelings are with you, it is hard when you lose a loved one, I speak only from seeing and helping my wife when she lost her parent, sadly my heart was to cold when I was younger and fighting life from every angle, I had no feelings for my mum who walked out before I was three, it is similar with my dad who lost control and beat us, but they are all forgiven even the vicar who abused at east seven of us that I know about, probably more.
Sorry I have gone on a bit.
Jesus is Lord - Love one another as He loves us.
