Almost Infidelity
- Thread starter PirateLady
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PirateLady
Member
I am dedicated to doing whatever it takes to earn his trust back, and realize that it may be a slow and still painful process. But I have been so amazed by God's grace these past couple of days, and I can feel a deep sense of peace underneath the surface panic that's still swirling.
Today was going to be a big hurdle, with R. returning to the office, but he's not here. I prayed half the night and all the way to work for grace, peace, and strength for both H and I to face whatever we were walking into. So far, it's been a perfectly ordinary Monday morning, with the exception of R's absence. I don't know what that means - a reprieve, perhaps? I don't know. I am working very hard to leave all of this in God's hands and not keep taking pieces of it back to try to "fix" myself.
Today was going to be a big hurdle, with R. returning to the office, but he's not here. I prayed half the night and all the way to work for grace, peace, and strength for both H and I to face whatever we were walking into. So far, it's been a perfectly ordinary Monday morning, with the exception of R's absence. I don't know what that means - a reprieve, perhaps? I don't know. I am working very hard to leave all of this in God's hands and not keep taking pieces of it back to try to "fix" myself.
Holly Hobbie
Member
I am also glad you were able to share this here it took a lot of courage. Just keep your husband and this situation in the Lords hands and he will help you through.
Remember you are valuable in Gods site and he loves you very much.
I will pray for you.
Remember you are valuable in Gods site and he loves you very much.
I will pray for you.
PirateLady
Member
Keep the prayers coming, and with many thanks. 
Today is the first day for H and I at work together with R and it has been tense and difficult for us both, but we're hanging in there. R. has chosen, for the day at least, to sit at an empty desk in another office away from both of us. I imagine this is raising some eyebrows among our co-workers, but so far everyone has acted perfectly normal to me. I'm sure the gossip mill is rumbling a little, though. I have decided to simply treat everyone as I normally do, while avoiding any non-work related conversation with R. as gracefully and in the lowest key manner possible. I don't want to draw attention to the situation. H and I are determined to present a solid united front, and I think this will stop most gossip in it's tracks. People tend to prey on weakness, but when faced with a solid wall supported by God I hope it will be a different story.
I have been in almost constant prayer asking God for strength, peace, and grace for H particularly. I know how hard this day must be for him.
Today is the first day for H and I at work together with R and it has been tense and difficult for us both, but we're hanging in there. R. has chosen, for the day at least, to sit at an empty desk in another office away from both of us. I imagine this is raising some eyebrows among our co-workers, but so far everyone has acted perfectly normal to me. I'm sure the gossip mill is rumbling a little, though. I have decided to simply treat everyone as I normally do, while avoiding any non-work related conversation with R. as gracefully and in the lowest key manner possible. I don't want to draw attention to the situation. H and I are determined to present a solid united front, and I think this will stop most gossip in it's tracks. People tend to prey on weakness, but when faced with a solid wall supported by God I hope it will be a different story.
I have been in almost constant prayer asking God for strength, peace, and grace for H particularly. I know how hard this day must be for him.
Lion_of_Judah
Member
Keep the prayers coming, and with many thanks.
Today is the first day for H and I at work together with R and it has been tense and difficult
..
I have decided to simply treat everyone as I normally do, while avoiding any non-work related conversation with R. as gracefully and in the lowest key manner possible. I don't want to draw attention to the situation.
I know how hard this day must be for him.
Hi PirateLady,
Well the day is probably almost over for you..
..another tomorrow.. and I trust He'll carry you two though the day once again.
You could probably pick up from a few people around you that they sensed something was out of the ordinary.
I hope you've already rifled through lets say, a sequence of questions that'll inevitably come your way. ..You know the 10% rule among co-workers... yeah... someone has already had their eye on you & R, kinda bein' friendly toward each other, and they know somethings up.
But it might just be me tooo..
Most likely, H will have a question out of the blue put to him. Not you at first. I pray God will give him
keen insight and be shrewd as a fox, yet gentle as the deer in his response.
Not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit! ..Father, let it be done, in the name of Jesus.
Lifting you up, according to His will
Marco
TheWidowsOffering
Member
PirateLady
Member
Day 2.
R. is at his normal desk my office today, sitting right in front of me. Thankfully the desk arrangement keeps his back to me. We exchanged polite 'good mornings' and he has not attempted to engage me in any other conversation. If he does, I'm simply going to let him know that the only convesations we need to have should be work-related.
H is having a hard time here. At home, he seems much better. I keep praying that it will get a little easier with each passing day for both of us, and that God will fill H with all the grace and peace He can. It seems that I am in a constant state of prayer on some level almost every minute.
Thank you, again, for all of your prayers. This is the most difficult thing that H and I have ever faced, because it's something that one of us did to the other and not something that has come at us together. I do believe we will look back to see that God used the situation to strengthen our marriage.
On the day that he forgave me, H said something that really humbled me. He said, "One of the things I was working on with R before was salvation. Maybe once all this has settled God will allow me to continue to try to play a part in that somehow" or something very similar. Even through his hurt and anger and sense of betrayal, he still had it in him, or Christ through him, to be concerned about R's salvation. I'm sure he doesn't feel it every minute right now, but he is so dedicated to allowing himself to be used to bring glory to Christ.
I hope and pray that God allows this for him, or that even if we never ever know it, that the situation and our response to it will somehow touch R's life and maybe even the lives of others. God CAN bring good from even the worst of circumstances.
R. is at his normal desk my office today, sitting right in front of me. Thankfully the desk arrangement keeps his back to me. We exchanged polite 'good mornings' and he has not attempted to engage me in any other conversation. If he does, I'm simply going to let him know that the only convesations we need to have should be work-related.
H is having a hard time here. At home, he seems much better. I keep praying that it will get a little easier with each passing day for both of us, and that God will fill H with all the grace and peace He can. It seems that I am in a constant state of prayer on some level almost every minute.
Thank you, again, for all of your prayers. This is the most difficult thing that H and I have ever faced, because it's something that one of us did to the other and not something that has come at us together. I do believe we will look back to see that God used the situation to strengthen our marriage.
On the day that he forgave me, H said something that really humbled me. He said, "One of the things I was working on with R before was salvation. Maybe once all this has settled God will allow me to continue to try to play a part in that somehow" or something very similar. Even through his hurt and anger and sense of betrayal, he still had it in him, or Christ through him, to be concerned about R's salvation. I'm sure he doesn't feel it every minute right now, but he is so dedicated to allowing himself to be used to bring glory to Christ.
I hope and pray that God allows this for him, or that even if we never ever know it, that the situation and our response to it will somehow touch R's life and maybe even the lives of others. God CAN bring good from even the worst of circumstances.
PirateLady
Member
Rollercoaster ride continues.
H is kind to me and does not say or do anything to hurt me or make me feel worse, but his moods are up and down and mine seem to go with them. The soaring and subsequent plummeting is sometimes very hard.
For example, yesterday and last night were pretty good so I woke up in a fairly decent mood this morning. But H is having a down time again, and when I realized this my mood plunged. Now, I am tense and feel slightly sick again. I keep praying for extra grace to not get discouraged and frustrated, and to do nothing but be kind and compassionate and not say or do anything to make him feel any worse than he does.
It doesn't help that the Christmas bonus we expected to receive today has possibly been delayed until the middle of next week. This is pretty inconvenient for us because we can't finish shopping until we get it and we also need it to help pay some bills, but it's not the end of the world. However, H was already down and is now even more discouraged.
I sent him Isaiah 41:10 to read. No response. So, I am praying for him, and for me to be able to keep my mood up so that we're not both mired down at once.
H is kind to me and does not say or do anything to hurt me or make me feel worse, but his moods are up and down and mine seem to go with them. The soaring and subsequent plummeting is sometimes very hard.
For example, yesterday and last night were pretty good so I woke up in a fairly decent mood this morning. But H is having a down time again, and when I realized this my mood plunged. Now, I am tense and feel slightly sick again. I keep praying for extra grace to not get discouraged and frustrated, and to do nothing but be kind and compassionate and not say or do anything to make him feel any worse than he does.
It doesn't help that the Christmas bonus we expected to receive today has possibly been delayed until the middle of next week. This is pretty inconvenient for us because we can't finish shopping until we get it and we also need it to help pay some bills, but it's not the end of the world. However, H was already down and is now even more discouraged.
I sent him Isaiah 41:10 to read. No response. So, I am praying for him, and for me to be able to keep my mood up so that we're not both mired down at once.
I am sure this time is very trying for you both . Your husbands moods will smooth out over time I am sure . How long we wont know . Just continue to pray for your own patience and for his healing . Pray for comfort during the wait , but be sure in the Lords timing all will work out for the best . I have been where your husband is now , but sadly i didnt have my Lord in my heart at that time . My father couldnt help me because I didnt know I could ask Him to . Be joyful you already have the Lord in your corner and he can ease the walk to healing , for both of you .
Lord , I raise this family up to you now and ask for you to fill them with comfort and peace and understanding for each each other . You are a great healer and comforter Lord . I thank you for all your promises and truths and our ability to trust you , you are not a man and can not lie . I praise you Lord now and always . In Jesus name I ask these things and in faith believe them to be done .
Amen
Miccy
Lord , I raise this family up to you now and ask for you to fill them with comfort and peace and understanding for each each other . You are a great healer and comforter Lord . I thank you for all your promises and truths and our ability to trust you , you are not a man and can not lie . I praise you Lord now and always . In Jesus name I ask these things and in faith believe them to be done .
Amen
Miccy
Holly Hobbie
Member
I have been thinking about you and praying for you Pirate Lady as well as your husband..
Hang in there and keep holding on to Jesus
Hang in there and keep holding on to Jesus
SpiritLedEd
Member
Pirate Lady:
I'm sorry it took so long for me to see your suggestion to move the thread to the Counseling forum. I'll just make this comment about your situation: You said that H thought he should step back from his ministerial training because he'd failed to manage his family properly under terms of 1 Tim 3:4 and that you felt that you couldn't pray because of guilt.
The Lord never intended his followers to beat themselves up like that. To see how God sees both of you, study Romans 8:1-2.
SLE
I'm sorry it took so long for me to see your suggestion to move the thread to the Counseling forum. I'll just make this comment about your situation: You said that H thought he should step back from his ministerial training because he'd failed to manage his family properly under terms of 1 Tim 3:4 and that you felt that you couldn't pray because of guilt.
The Lord never intended his followers to beat themselves up like that. To see how God sees both of you, study Romans 8:1-2.
SLE
mackem lady
Member
I have found reading this post good for me and my probs. I hop all goes well for you Piratelady. The comment dont beat yourself up is true. This is what I do all the time and it doesnt help.
ML
ML