Member
What's it mean whe a spouse is treated like a door mat?
A Door Mat?
Member
Jonah
to be referred to as door mat to your spouse, means that you accept the way he/she treats you and say nothing, it can range from verbal abuse to physical abuse, mainly, you just accept everything that's directed at you.
There are lots more ways connected to be 'a door mat' but this is the best explaination in short that I can give you.
Hope it helps.
to be referred to as door mat to your spouse, means that you accept the way he/she treats you and say nothing, it can range from verbal abuse to physical abuse, mainly, you just accept everything that's directed at you.
There are lots more ways connected to be 'a door mat' but this is the best explaination in short that I can give you.
Hope it helps.
Member
Is this bad thing?
Member
Jonah
I don't know about you brother, but I would not like to be on the receiving end of any of these things.
In saying that, I have had my share of 'mental abuse' were my husband through drinking would say things just purely to annoy me, I learned over time and prayer, to walk away from it, when he started, after many mistakes on my part, praise God it has stopped now, but I would always make sure not to be up when he comes home from drinking, so not to tempt him to start again.
No Jonah it is not a nice thing to be used as a 'door mat' not at all.
Jesus did not create anyone as such a thing, we must have respect for each other, and do unto others as would have them do unto us.
Matthew 7 v 12
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
I don't know about you brother, but I would not like to be on the receiving end of any of these things.
In saying that, I have had my share of 'mental abuse' were my husband through drinking would say things just purely to annoy me, I learned over time and prayer, to walk away from it, when he started, after many mistakes on my part, praise God it has stopped now, but I would always make sure not to be up when he comes home from drinking, so not to tempt him to start again.
No Jonah it is not a nice thing to be used as a 'door mat' not at all.
Jesus did not create anyone as such a thing, we must have respect for each other, and do unto others as would have them do unto us.
Matthew 7 v 12
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
Member
Give it to God
To the person that called himself/herself a door mat. I would like to give you some advice. I understand how you feeL. I have been going through the same things for 20 years or more. I found myself in a cycle that was going over and over again. I have been married 3 times and each marriage was an abusive one from mental abuse to emotional abuse. My marriage now, I decided that the cycle has to broken. We are in a spiritual warfare and the enemy does not care who he uses to hurt or destroy us. First, you need to repent and ask good that if you have done anything wrong because of the abuse to forgive you. Secondly, you need to forgive the person. Then, you need to go into your prayer closet and pray for your spouse. Cast your cares upon Jesus and leave it there. After you have given it to Jesus. Then, you get some anointed oil and you anointed items you spouse has (Shoes, hats,) things you know your spouse touches. As you do this you call out those things as though they were. You speak out with your voices and you say. my wife/husband shall have the mind of christ. you call out what you want in your spouse and watch God work. When the enemy come to bring negative things to your mind. You rebuke the enemy immediately. Don't think on anything negative regarding your spouse. I have done this and my husband is not saved. He is a total different person now. He is going to church. He is treating me with respect and we are closer then ever. God is still working but he is moving. I pray things get better and it will in Jesus name
To the person that called himself/herself a door mat. I would like to give you some advice. I understand how you feeL. I have been going through the same things for 20 years or more. I found myself in a cycle that was going over and over again. I have been married 3 times and each marriage was an abusive one from mental abuse to emotional abuse. My marriage now, I decided that the cycle has to broken. We are in a spiritual warfare and the enemy does not care who he uses to hurt or destroy us. First, you need to repent and ask good that if you have done anything wrong because of the abuse to forgive you. Secondly, you need to forgive the person. Then, you need to go into your prayer closet and pray for your spouse. Cast your cares upon Jesus and leave it there. After you have given it to Jesus. Then, you get some anointed oil and you anointed items you spouse has (Shoes, hats,) things you know your spouse touches. As you do this you call out those things as though they were. You speak out with your voices and you say. my wife/husband shall have the mind of christ. you call out what you want in your spouse and watch God work. When the enemy come to bring negative things to your mind. You rebuke the enemy immediately. Don't think on anything negative regarding your spouse. I have done this and my husband is not saved. He is a total different person now. He is going to church. He is treating me with respect and we are closer then ever. God is still working but he is moving. I pray things get better and it will in Jesus name
Member
A- christian- door mat, is a person who welcomes a person home even when they are going to walk all over them
It is a person who lays down his life for his brother and esteems others better than themselves.It is a person who takes it patiently when they are suffering for doing good.
It is a person who loves, and forgives instead of taking to themselves offence.
It is a person who blesses when cursed- does good to those who despitefully use them.
It is a person who turns the other cheek.
It is a person who stands in faith for the one walking on them, praying always to God for their behalf and believing God to save and deliver them.
It is a person who returns good for evil.
It is a person who resists not the evil man.
- Is it a bad thing? if you can be a christian doormat like this then no it is a good thing. If you cannot be this type of doormat then your message turns from sweet to bitter and is not good.
Member
It is to walk over them and grind the dirt of your heals into them. It is abuse and in no way reflects the love, character, will or Word of God. So yes it is a really bad thing.
Member
I would like the clarify
I thought your question was is being a doormat a good thing. My answer is still yes if you are the kind of doormat i described it is good.
but being the one walking on the doormat is not good and will find themselves in judgement ESPECIALLY if your doormat is a good christian faithful one- then they are heaping coals of fire on your head.
I thought your question was is being a doormat a good thing. My answer is still yes if you are the kind of doormat i described it is good.
but being the one walking on the doormat is not good and will find themselves in judgement ESPECIALLY if your doormat is a good christian faithful one- then they are heaping coals of fire on your head.
Member
Thank you all for all your wonderful commemts. You have been very helpful.
Your Sister in Christ Jesus, *genesis
Your Sister in Christ Jesus, *genesis
Member
Thank you, destiny7
Thank you so much for your heart felt message. Though I did not anoint my spouses items or anything my spouse touches. I did put all my faith in The Almighty GOD, through HIS Son, Christ Jesus.
And though we are not going to Church on every Sunday, we do have our Bible Studies once a week with my Church Minister.
Things are looking up.
Thank you so much for your heart felt message. Though I did not anoint my spouses items or anything my spouse touches. I did put all my faith in The Almighty GOD, through HIS Son, Christ Jesus.
And though we are not going to Church on every Sunday, we do have our Bible Studies once a week with my Church Minister.
Things are looking up.
Member
Amen. I could not agree with you more,:shade:.
Member
That is so terrific, I am so joyful and overflowing for you and your husband the Lord is so good!
You are doing a good job being patient and I am blessed that you are thankful for each step and not just impatiently awaiting the whole manifestation!
To further comfort and support you i would like to bring this to your mind
Exd 23:28 And I will send hornets before thee, which shall drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite, from before thee.
Exd 23:29 I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee.
Exd 23:30 By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land.
This is how the Lord works with us spiritually as well. He drives the enemies and sin away from us little by little so that we have time to become thoughrly furnished in each area. If he did it all at once our flesh and the enemies would overtake us.- Each little step the Lord does with your husband is a special treasure! And he will be increased until the whole land is inherited!
Member
I can only add to what Faith4Bride has said.
The abuse that is inflicted to a spouse more than likely comes from an unbeliever or from a very uninformed Christian. Once the eyes of the abuser are opened there could be much remorse for the pain inflicted to another. Much sorrow especially from the uninformed Christian who finally finds the truth.
In staying in step with what Faith4Bride has mentioned, the one being abused will be prepared to forgive the Christian abusing spouse and comfort them as they make corrections or help plant the seeds to the unbelieving spouse as Christ draws this one to His side in keeping in tuned with godly behavior themselves.
The Christian or unbeliever who doesn’t repent or show any signs of remorse for their actions, yes, indeed it is a bad thing.
To the one enduring the abuse; the abuse itself is not a good thing, (sin never is) but the test and trials that build faith in God is as He brings the sorrowed one through the dark valleys. Bringing us through the suffering might be in separation, or better yet, the abuser seeing the evil they inflict, or even if they show no remorse – He has worked in our lives to become more like Him in spite of it all …….but either way never allowing bitterness and holding a grudge to imprison in our lives.
Member
Amen!! Couldn't agree more!
Member
A- christian- door mat, is a person who welcomes a person home even when they are going to walk all over them
It is a person who takes it patiently when they are suffering for doing good.
It is a person who loves, and forgives instead of taking to themselves offence.
It is a person who blesses when cursed- does good to those who despitefully use them.
It is a person who turns the other cheek.
It is a person who stands in faith for the one walking on them, praying always to God for their behalf and believing God to save and deliver them.
It is a person who returns good for evil.
It is a person who resists not the evil man.
- Is it a bad thing? if you can be a christian doormat like this then no it is a good thing. If you cannot be this type of doormat then your message turns from sweet to bitter and is not good.
I just wanted to say that I thought this response was really beautiful. I've been the "bad" kind of doormat before, and it's no fun and really wears on the soul, so my initial thought when I hear "doormat" isn't so positive. What I like is that you put a positive spin on it.
Although, to clarify, I agree there is, as you put it a Christian doormat, and the other not so great doormat
Exercising patience and love and following the word are very different than the emotional/mental abuse that comes with being a plain old doormat.