wedding anniversary

[seventhseal]

He forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife was really mad at
him.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway
that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, Mark got up really early.

When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window,
and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the
driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the
box into the house. She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors.

 

[Chad]

Hmm....although funny in a sense of having good loose humour its pretty mean to overweight people.

 

[seventhseal]

Not meant to offend overweight people. 200 pounds is hardly overweight. I'M overweight. Just a man-type joke.

 

[MAJ52653]

scales

He forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife was really mad at
him.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway
that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, Mark got up really early.

When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window,
and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the
driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the
box into the house. She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors.

Loved it. I do find it interesting that it is the people that are not fat that seem to get offended by fat jokes. Myself, I write them and speak them first, thus defusing the situation. Speaking of scales, I don't have a scale in my bathroom, because I couldn't find a scale with numbers that go high enough.

 

[Chad]

Loved it. I do find it interesting that it is the people that are not fat that seem to get offended by fat jokes. Myself, I write them and speak them first, thus defusing the situation. Speaking of scales, I don't have a scale in my bathroom, because I couldn't find a scale with numbers that go high enough.

I am simply taking into consideration those who are overweight and struggling to lose that extra weight. I've seen them ask for prayers and express their hurt and struggles, here on the forums. They might be offended and I am the one who has the ability to remove offending jokes for their sake. So not every joke is necessary funny when some are not jokingly struggling with such issues.

I may be offended by jokes about deaf people or those who are hearing impaired for example (I am hearing impaired). While I have a wild, loose sense of humor not everything I hear can I laugh at because I know my hurt and struggles as well.

Some food for thought.

 

[Dreamer]

H-mmmm. I'm the same way about certain jokes. Not overweight jokes, but jokes where the wife is reported to "wear the pants in the family".

I've never worn the pants in my family, married the first time or this time, in fact sometimes I feel that my opinion counts for very little. Sometimes I feel a little offended by the "bossy wife" jokes because I don't get to be bossy all that often, lol.

Usually there is some personal reason why we are offended by certain jokes.
If something has hurt you alot, sometimes it's hard to laugh about it and really mean it.

I think I will write some new jokes about bossy husbands, lol.

I will tell a true story here that I think is funny. (You might not!)

I used to enjoy playing ice hockey at the talk Jesus arcade. I really like the new games and I enjoy them alot, but one day I was mourning the loss of my beautiful ice hockey game.

My husband said, "What's the matter? Can't pretend those goalies are me anymore?" Then he laughed, but not in an evil way.

I looked at him innocently as if to say, "Who, me?"

I believe that for the most part, in a marriage, it is usually the husband that is the agressive partner. Maybe deep inside I wish I was more assertive so I resent the jokes?:embarasse

 

[Abraxix Storm]

I used to enjoy playing ice hockey at the talk Jesus arcade. I really like the new games and I enjoy them alot, but one day I was mourning the loss of my beautiful ice hockey game.

My husband said, "What's the matter? Can't pretend those goalies are me anymore?" Then he laughed, but not in an evil way.

I looked at him innocently as if to say, "Who, me?"

I believe that for the most part, in a marriage, it is usually the husband that is the agressive partner. Maybe deep inside I wish I was more assertive so I resent the jokes?

hahaha tha's a great call by yoru husband though.. hehehe

i think the same as Chad, and Dreamera though, i dont like Mumma jokes, ones that put down my mother she's a lovely person. i don' knwo how any one coudl tell a mumma joke.. : <

 

[monkeys]

I think when we tell joke we have to mindful in general. We have to step out of our shoes and look at the whole perspective.

For example, when people make jokes about people who are mentally disabled or even say "That's retarded", it really hurts my Spirit. It also makes me mad to be honest.

I think as Christians we have to be mindful of what we say and think of others before saying anything.

Dreamer, about you wanting to be more bossy...lol..I couldn't help but smile. You're so sweet. Sometimes I feel bossy, but when my boyfriend is bossy (so to say), I like it. It makes be feel like a lady, and helps me embrace my femininity. Like the Bible says:

1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Blessing to you all!

 

[MAJ52653]

I bid deaf, fat and crippled

I am simply taking into consideration those who are overweight and struggling to lose that extra weight. I've seen them ask for prayers and express their hurt and struggles, here on the forums. They might be offended and I am the one who has the ability to remove offending jokes for their sake. So not every joke is necessary funny when some are not jokingly struggling with such issues.

I may be offended by jokes about deaf people or those who are hearing impaired for example (I am hearing impaired). While I have a wild, loose sense of humor not everything I hear can I laugh at because I know my hurt and struggles as well.

Some food for thought.

I myself am deaf, fat and crippled, and have never been offended by any jokes about those. My opinion on the modern trend to turn the deadly sin anger into "righteous rage" on behalf of others is on my article on the the "7 deadly sins redux".

 

[Chad]

Well, keep in mind not everyone is like you and others have their right to their feelings

 

[MAJ52653]

fast girls

H-mmmm. I'm the same way about certain jokes. Not overweight jokes, but jokes where the wife is reported to "wear the pants in the family".

I've never worn the pants in my family, married the first time or this time, in fact sometimes I feel that my opinion counts for very little. Sometimes I feel a little offended by the "bossy wife" jokes because I don't get to be bossy all that often, lol.

Usually there is some personal reason why we are offended by certain jokes.
If something has hurt you alot, sometimes it's hard to laugh about it and really mean it.

I think I will write some new jokes about bossy husbands, lol.

I will tell a true story here that I think is funny. (You might not!)

I used to enjoy playing ice hockey at the talk Jesus arcade. I really like the new games and I enjoy them alot, but one day I was mourning the loss of my beautiful ice hockey game.

My husband said, "What's the matter? Can't pretend those goalies are me anymore?" Then he laughed, but not in an evil way.

I looked at him innocently as if to say, "Who, me?"

I believe that for the most part, in a marriage, it is usually the husband that is the agressive partner. Maybe deep inside I wish I was more assertive so I resent the jokes?:embarasse

I've never been married, so don't know one way or the other. However...

Back when I was younger and chased women, I never caught any because they would run too fast when they saw me coming.
Women didn't need pants, since even in their skirts they could out run me in mine.

 

[MAJ52653]

agreed

Well, keep in mind not everyone is like you and others have their right to their feelings

True, everyone has a right to their emotions, even the wrong ones, as mine so often are. Of course, on the other hand, how can you stop a person from feeling an emotion or feeling? (Unless you build some kind of sci-fi brain wave reader that gives a zap if the wrong ideas flit though the mind.)

 

[Abraxix Storm]

there is a Vs in the bible, i believe it's peter near the start. i think it might be 2 peter actually..

it goes along the lines, of,,,

Husbands in the same way be Submissive to your wives and yadda yadda yadda, wives in the same way be submisive to your husbands yadda yadda yadda, so that if they cannot see the Truth for them selves they will be able to see it in you.

Women/ladies/girls, it's your job to keep pure and holy in the Eyes of God, so that you may change us not with look's or Prayers but in your actions we will be able to see God using you. in the end this will be able to help us get to know God...


I will FIND the verse im talking about for you, i don't think i got it right or even close, but it's the general point of the vs....

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

1 Peter 3:1


there see wives should win us over buy what they do, so it's ok, for you wives to not be the head, i mean, i'd rather be the head, that way it's more of a protective roll, us boy's can play hehehe!!

Dreamera, your so sweet don't give up : >

 

[Dreamer]

Thanks

Do you think it is so hard for me to be submissive because I'm strong-willed?

I really don't like submission and I'm tired of it. That is the honest truth. I have been nice my whole life and it has gotten me nowhere.

Right now I'm entering a new ministry again (no joke!)

And I always have men---my husband, and the pastor, the ministry leader---telling me what to do. God called me to open a shelter for women---He didn't call them!

So why do I have to listen to their bossy selves? They don't even know what they're talking about. Argggggggh.

I know, I know my attitude isn't right. Everybody just let me have it right now and post every "Wife, submit," verse you can find!:shock:

Just seems like 'cause I'm a woman, people don't trust me to make good decisions. If I can't make good decisions, then why did God choose me to do this?

Why is it that men are so threatened by a woman running a ministry? Cannot a woman run a woman's ministry? I wouldn't try to lead a men's ministry, so why do men try to run a woman's ministry?

I know, I know. This thread is going way out of whack and it's not a joke anymore.

But those bossy wife jokes really do get on my nerves. About that I'm not kidding. Seems like my whole life people are always riding over my head.

I like it here at talk Jesus because it's not like that here. Chad has equal respect for the mods; it doesn't matter to him whether you are male or female.

I like talk Jesus because we have christian fellowship here with a minimum amount of competetiveness. Some churches and ministry groups have become competive and back-stabbing.

Thank God for talk Jesus.

Hope we don't have too many more bossy wife jokes, lol, but if we do, I guess I'll live, huh?

P.s. Anybody know some good lawyer jokes?

 

[Abraxix Storm]

Hope we don't have too many more bossy wife jokes, lol, but if we do, I guess I'll live, huh?

P.s. Anybody know some good lawyer jokes?

lOl. aww man Dreamera you really open my eyes at times, that's why i love ya so much i've go a PM comming your way you need to know about. : >

you can then post it here if you will but it's more an encouragement for ya!!!

Keep it up and remember lol be Submissive. hahaha nah just messing there btu still be kind and Hede god's will. and his Words. : >

 

[Dreamer]

I love the pm you sent me and I wish you'd post it on a new thread in the joke forum.

It is so funny! Please do it. I mean it, I laughed out loud. Thanks again.

Your friend,
Dreamer

Start a new thread, about Mom's New Job Title

 

[monkeys]

This thread sure has turned out into something else, huh? lol.

Dreamer, you are so sweet...I will pm you as I don't want to stray off topic anymore!

 

[Abraxix Storm]

i found the bible vs.

Well no this is not true, Ladylovesjesus helpped me she found but i knew it just not where it was..all the same it's found and i will post it now. please ready it ladies. : >

1Peter 3:1-4

Wives in the same way be submisive to your husbands so that, if any of them (men) do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour oftheir wives, When they se the purity and reverance of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewe;ry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfadingbeauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

thats what my bible says, you girls may as well be princesses but that won't win us boy's hearts for God's it your behaviour and purity.

please girls don't ever change, dreamera take it to heart, and you'll be blessed greatly, even though i do not know any good lawyer jokes. hehehe

Abraxix

 

[*~Laceyrenee~*]

lol...That wasfunny in a way..