i realize that i 4 got 2 say something abt the bible, yes, it's hard 4 me 2 understand, but i did read it daily & i had 2 reread it numerous times, but that's how i learned the little that i did from it...initially, cuz there's 2 much wiring in my brain, it can take me minutes, days, months or even yrs 2 understand things (i'm speaking in general)...anyway, this was since i was 1st baptized, until this event took place 2 yrs ago...i admit, that i have pretty much stopped since, i did try a few times, but then the stress of it would overwhelm me, but i'm gonna try again today...like i said, i did fully believe in god & in r lord & 1 & only savior who died on the cross 4 r sins & i still do...as 2 y my autism effects me this way, i have no idea, but it does...also, re: my comment on the mentally challenged, asd & similiar disorders & the age of accountability - i just meant that god can speak 2 each individual in a way that they can understand, cuz i've read stories of people ( kids & adults) w' autism who can't talk or understand much, will suddenly say something in reference 2 jesus or heaven...4 example, they may see a white feather(which represents hope, peace, calmness, protection or an answer 2 @ prayer) & say something like, 'an angel was here, or c an animal of some kind & say that god created that'...i mean how would they even know if god hadn't been able 2 reach through them???anyway, since then, i've repented daily & w'in the last 2 mnths or so, i'd felt the spirit once ( this being the 1st time since i'd left my church over a decade ago)it lasted 4 a longer time & w' grtr intensity, i've had 5 angel visits (as an aspie, i'm closer 2 the spirit world & i can vaguely c outlines of human shaped forms (both good & evil) w' shadows of gray 2 dark black...so far, the dark black was evil & the lighter shades were good...i've also been touched by them - a tingling in my mid 2 upper stomach & a feeling that i was being lifted from the good & a knfe against my throat (the next day having a mark in that very same area) & my covers pulled off me & a hand of flesh from the evil 1...also, the good ones - which i've had visits from 4-5 times w' in the last 2 mnths- would leave behind a small white feather ( thou i found 2 w'in 5 minutes after asking god 2 ?'s)...this is impt, cuz the color of feather determines what the angel (or messenger may b trying 2 tell u...anyway, the color white means hope, peace, protection & an answer 2 a prayer -- so maybe this really might b an answer...i also recently had a fluorescent bulb burn out in one of the rooms in my apt & i had 2 get maintaince 2 change the bulb since the apt pays 4 those...anyway, as it's natural 2 do, each time i walked into that room, i'd flip the light switch, but of course this didn't work...abt 7 days had passed & maintance never showed up, but on the 8th day, i flipped the switch & it turned on (it's still on)...now, i didn't do anything & maintaince never even showed up, & so i believe that 2 b another time that a spirit was trying 2 contact me...i also heard a voice saying that i will be saved & even had goose bumps on my arms, but i don't know if it was god's voice or mine...the pt is, is that i know god is still w' me as he has also helped me just last yr when i as diagnosed w" insufficient vein disease & had 2 travel 4 5 hrs 2 get 2 a vein clinic as the one in my town had shut down as there wasn't enuff business...anyway, not only did i have 2 have 2 leg ablations (1 on my whole leg & the other on my calf), but i had/have lymphodema well...so, i had 2 procedures done - 1 day after the other & then a mnth ltr, on my last check up, i had a small blood clot caused by the procedure...cuz of god, i felt no pain whatsoever during the ablation (they cauterize ur veins which in turn stops them from getting worse & hopefully stopping them from getting bad again...as 4 the clot, i had no idea i even had one as it was only detectable thru an ultrasound...it only lasted 4 7 weeks...there have been a few other times as well, so all this has 2 mean something, rite???anyway, i'm just trying 2 show u that he is in my life still & that maybe there is still hope???