Thank you brother
Adam's sin has corrupted the earth as we know, but all who come to Christ and truly repent there sins are wiped away, never to be remembered again by God. Those who are forgiven more love more, I say no more brother.
Now, item 2 is different, yes He does test us and tests us all differently, they can and do for many push our love and devotion to Him like nothing we have ever known.
I am not going into my past here, not in detail, I have shared bits elsewhere. Picking one issue, I was abused by a vicar in my teens, he was Mr Nice Guy, a new vicar in the village, and due to being brought up in a broken home the way I was, I was told to go to church to learn how to be good! How they needed to take the log out of their eyes first. The abuse was in three stages over two years, the first time I froze, after a period of time I broke away, questions were asked why I wasn't with the other lads, I made excuses and took up fishing in the local river. But, when I was with the rest of the lads, they had money, they had cakes and sweets. I went back thinking it wouldn't happen again, he talked me into going back at choir practice which was in the vicarage. He talked of love and I had seen none at home. But then it started again, again I froze, my insides locked up like steel. Everything went on 'inside', I broke away again, but after time the same happened again. I thought after breaking away twice it wouldn't happen again. He got us into Pontin's holiday place for free, this was good, lots of girls, slot machines, etc, but after choir practice and other times, cut my lawn I will give you this much etc, I went back. Again it happened, each time I froze, I was screwed up, I started to hate him and eventually stopped going, but the hate didn't leave me, I hated him, what he stood for, I hated the church, though I didn't know any more than the stone building we had to sing in. That hate inside, telling no one, was like a jagged knife in the stomach and gut pushed in and twisted, My hate got so much I set fire to his orchard probably as a means of retaliation.
Some people who are abused, according to statistics, they end up abusing others, for me it was the reverse, I became girl mad, sexually obsessed, any girl, even those not quite of age, though at the time I wasn't away there was a minimum age. After college I got a job, but at seventeen and a half I was crushed inside a concrete tunnel, incinerator. I almost died, it took five or six big guys to get the concrete off me and get me out. I was off 5 months, I was an apprentice on £11 a week, I got compensation yes, 5 months at £11 loss of wages nothing more.
Moving on quickly through first marriage, children, obsession for ladies, the marriage broke up, there is a lot more to this and the hell I went through, but jumping ahead to my early forties when I accepted Christ as my saviour and ALL my SINS were forgiven, slate wiped clean etc as we know. My past hate haunted me, my past experiences also, plus a business failure and moving 300 miles to a place we had never been before. It was here that my heart started searching, I have shared previously how things happened, my first Bible, and that one day I said to my wife, 'I am going to church on Sunday', she knew of my hate for anyone who would try tell me about, Jesus, God, the Church etc. but although we had twenty years together and she know of my previous marriage and shared in the hell we went threw she knew nothing of any other part of my past. It was deeply locked within me.
But also around this time I had a silly accident at work, so simple yet it happened, my coccyx hit the corner of a radiator! Ouch was not the word. Again a simple but extremely painful situation ended up a complex issue. The medical profession prescribed pain killers and anti inflammatory, they didn't take the pain away so they increased the dose. There was an allergic reaction, as they put it and tried to correct this with more prescribed drugs, 3 doctors prescribed 13 drugs before I was rushed into an isolation ward, they called me the yellow man, I almost died of liver failure due to the drugs.
All this happened around the time of coming to faith, and my wife put it down to illuminations, isn't that what the world does.
My faith increased, but then so did the issues at home, it got so hot I couldn't have my Bible where it could be seen in the home. I became more confused, my hate had gone, for the first time I knew there really was a God, not one ounce of doubt, but my wife was against me, she set the kids against me, I could not understand then why having come to Christ, believing in all my heart He could allow this to happen. I had to stop going to the place of worship, the church, and pray and just try love my family through this period. One day, in my job, I went to survey a property, I did my job and coming out stood on the doorstep talking to the man and woman. To my amazement the guy sad, 'you have problems don't you, would you like to come in we can pray for you' How did he know I thought but I went in. I found out soon after that he was a retired Pentecostal minister. The Lord provides.
I was taught how to pray for protection, taught about the devil's tricks, we prayed often, I was able to call in my lunch break and have fellowship without my wife knowing as it would have created more issues and my marriage would have probably split. I learned to stand in faith from early on, I learned to claim scripture early on, I was being Blessed although it didn't feel that way, I had a new fear within. Some remarkable things happened especially after three and a half years of prayer, I think I shared that, it was incredible how it happened, the timing etc. But meanwhile I ended up in depression, I prayed for help and felt I needed counselling, though I told no one. One day at my doctors he said have you considered counselling, I said I had but, I thought I should have a Christian counsellor. He said just wait here I need to go out of the room a minute, I sat there wondering, he returned with a lady, he said this is Margaret, she is a Christian, she is a counsellor will you see her. I did it was slow at first, then like being sucked into a tube I was sucked backwards and my past was opened up for the first time, back through all the years, issues back to the sexual abuse, issues back to three years old. This was when another set of issues arose, my wife could not understand why I had not told her these things, how could I tell another woman and not her! I was being set free, and my faith had been built on the Rock, Jesus Christ our Lord.
God tests His people to make them stronger, sometimes we cannot understand this, we cannot see it, but later He reveals it to us, often through others.
We may have to suffer, many do have to suffer, but He never lets us suffer more than we can endure (honest), We will never ever suffer as much as Christ suffered for us, when He was crucified for us and took upon Himself the sins of the whole world.
When pain strikes, do not let it drive us down, instead look up and rejoice, give thanks, we will only suffer for a period, providing we are truly saved and our name is in The Book of Life and The Lamb, life and pain is like the blink of an eye, this life is short, our future life is eternal, the old order will have gone, no pain, no suffering, no crying, no weeping, no curse, no sin, we will be with our Lord forever. Thank you Jesus, in your precious Name we pray and give thanks. Amen
