God's blessings to you Kevin and please know that I do not want to seem insensitive by the use of Scripture in my reply because I believe if it cannot address the hardness we're to endure, nothing will.
All Christians are under the afflictions of the disheartening and confusing occurrences in this life and none of us respond the same, but if God allows such to occur, who am I to determine it shouldn't be so. Regardless of what a believer encounters in understanding, He uses everything to teach us to grow in loving Him with all our being. This involves putting our thoughts and feelings about this life after our thoughts and feeling for Him; which is performed by trusting Him always in "casting our cares on Him" (1 Pet 5:7). This allows us to put our love for Him above all things, esp. self and thus, we can "being still" (Psa 46:10) until He gives understanding.
If your faith is truly in God, nothing, including self can separate you from it and Him. It's interesting that you used the word "loose", which I want to contrast with "depart", because one can depart from the teaching of faith if faith is not attained through the teaching; but division from the faith of Christ can never truly be desired (Gal 5:17). There will come a time when "some shall depart from the faith" (1 Tim 4:1), that is, shall leave the teaching or doctrine of faith; which will be evidence they we're not in the faith, only exposed to its doctrine (1 John 2:19).
Please allow me to share something else with you and again, I hope doesn't seem unfeeling-like or attempting to convince you of anything:
"The doctrine of faith, notwithstanding, is indisputably the great "mystery of godliness" (1 Tim 3:16) and from the true grace of faith there can be no final and total apostasy, for that can never be lost. It is of an incorruptible nature and therefore "more precious than gold that perishes" (1 Pet 5:7).
“Christ is the author and finisher of our faith” which makes it our prevalent mediation and concern. It is a gift of special grace and is without repentance. It springs from electing grace and is secured by it and between that and salvation, there is an inseparable connection, even though it may be very low and lie dormant, as to its acts and exercise, but not lost.
There is a temporary faith and a persuasion of truth, or a mere assent to it, which may be departed from, but not that “faith which works by love” (Gal 5:6). A profession of faith, which being made, can be dropped by some or rather the doctrine of faith, which some would embrace can entirely quit and wholly apostatize from. The elect cannot be finally and totally deceived for the foundation of election stands sure amidst the greatest apostasy.“ -JG
This is not a persuasion but an encouragement, for all of us are to " Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves" (2 Cor 13:5).