xspinningisfun
Member
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2009
- Messages
- 35
I have dated many times in the past. I've had several boyfriends, all of them were not Christians, I wasn't as strong in my faith in God at the time either. I did things with these guys, and even as I'm typing it out, I feel so dirty. I didn't have sex with them, but c'mon, anything impure is pretty much sex to God.
I did things with guys so they'll accept me. I've been physically abused from my own dad for seven years. He finally stopped 2 years ago. And I've also been sexually abused. So I reached out to guys so I can feel better about myself.
In 2008, I finally gave myself to God. I am waiting for Him to provide me a husband, a man that loves God and who will put Him before me all the time. But I still feel so guilty of the past. I can't seem to let go of it. I feel guilty and so disgusting. Does this mean God hasn't forgiven me because I haven't forgiven myself?
I need prayers on this. I want to let this go. I know that God cannot provide me anyone unless I'm fully ready. And obviously I'm not, since I'm still holding onto the past. Prayers would be appreciated.
I did things with guys so they'll accept me. I've been physically abused from my own dad for seven years. He finally stopped 2 years ago. And I've also been sexually abused. So I reached out to guys so I can feel better about myself.
In 2008, I finally gave myself to God. I am waiting for Him to provide me a husband, a man that loves God and who will put Him before me all the time. But I still feel so guilty of the past. I can't seem to let go of it. I feel guilty and so disgusting. Does this mean God hasn't forgiven me because I haven't forgiven myself?
I need prayers on this. I want to let this go. I know that God cannot provide me anyone unless I'm fully ready. And obviously I'm not, since I'm still holding onto the past. Prayers would be appreciated.