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Does forgiving mean walking away?

Ed

Member
Joined
Aug 6, 2004
Messages
122
If I am correct, Jesus says that we should forgive our brother 7x70 when they sin against us. '

So my question is; if someone sins against us so many times, is it a righteous, or even biblical action to say: "Hey, you've done me wrong too many times, and I can't take it anymore, so I am walking away from the friendship forever!"

Should Christians, even when they see and know that a person is struggling with some sin, walk away forever from that person?
 
It's a question that I have struggled with myself. I was looking for an elegant way to explain my answer, and discovered that the main things I wanted to say were in the Bible passage that you referred to.

Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not optional. If you don't find 70x7 convincing, then read the terrifying parable from verse 21 onwards.

We always hope that forgiveness will lead to restored relationships. But the earlier verses I have quoted below recognise that this does not always happen. If your friend refuses or is unable to change, then it may be legitimate to walk away.

It's quite easy to write this out in the abstract. In reality, friendships, hurt, disappointments, loyalty and feelings of guilt mean that these kinds of situations can be very messy. It is more to do with applying wisdom than with applying hard and fast rules.

Matthew 18:15-35

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be[d]bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[e] loosed in heaven.

19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[f]

23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
 
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"So my question is; if someone sins again
st us so many times, is it a righteous, or even biblical action to say: "Hey, you've done me wrong too many times, and I can't take it anymore, so I am walking away from the friendship forever!"

It is not incorrect.

"Hey, you've done me wrong too many times, and I can't take it anymore, so I am walking away from the friendship forever!"

I did such.

I gave the 'longsuffering' fruit of the Spirit a good run for six years as it prolonged in my case........and then I took my wife and family elsewhere to worship.

We follow Jesus.......If varients to following Him arise "longsuffering' is mentioned.....looking back we were so longsuffering.....but in the end we had no alternative but to worship elsewhere........Shortly after such 'Pastor' was asked to leave.
 
Thanks for the input.

I guess what I am trying to comphrehend, for myself really...if the person we walked away from comes to their senses later, realizes their mistake/sin, and then humbly corrects such, aren't we supposed to welcome them back into our fellowship? Or is such a person "lost" to our Christian fellowship?

It makes no sense for the person who committed the wrong to go to another fellowship, another church, unless it's a Pastor or elder we are talking about (in that case, then shouldn't the Pastor/Elder be subject to the disciplinary action of the church body?)

The only wrong/sin that cannot be forgiven, of course, is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. But a parting of the body is what the Lord is against anyways. Maybe there arises some hard feelings between the two offenders/offended, but we are supposed to pursue peace with the brethren...not total separation!

On earth as it is in heaven...is heaven divided? I think not!
 
You should forgive but that does not mean you have to continue associating with them or exposing your family to them. Amos 3.3 warns us of such association. Just because you forgive someone of stealing money from your house does not mean you continue to allow them to have a key to get in, then your an idiot.

If you cherry pick scripture and do not read it in its entirety you are dead in the water. I find alot of churchs preach onerous activities that are not nessicarily in the bible, christian living should be paced for the marathon of life not walking right on the edge of sin and going into melo dramatic prayer sessions or filled with so much activity that you burn out.

Just like if you are dealing with lust and having to go to interventions and dramatic prayer sessions when the bible simply says to marry then have sex. If you find yourself struggling so much it is effecting your daily life then you are doing something wrong, Gods ways are simple and not burdensome.

As a christian you should always be working towards right living, none of us are perfect. I sometimes get into these paranoid delusions about stuff like that, for me its pre marital sex but I have been with my girl friend almost 5 months and plan to get married so I dont believe what im doing is wrong. I believe in being with only one woman but I dont believe the state has to sanction your union for it to be lagit. You can pull any scripture and think omg I did that im going to hell now, and if that were the case 100% of everyone to ever live on earth would see you there (except Jesus, but then what would have been his point of comming).
 
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You should forgive but that does not mean you have to continue associating with them or exposing your family to them. Amos 3.3 warns us of such association. Just because you forgive someone of stealing money from your house does not mean you continue to allow them to have a key to get in, then your an idiot.

If you cherry pick scripture and do not read it in its entirety you are dead in the water. I find alot of churchs preach onerous activities that are not nessicarily in the bible, christian living should be paced for the marathon of life not walking right on the edge of sin and going into melo dramatic prayer sessions or filled with so much activity that you burn out.

Just like if you are dealing with lust and having to go to interventions and dramatic prayer sessions when the bible simply says to marry then have sex. If you find yourself struggling so much it is effecting your daily life then you are doing something wrong, Gods ways are simple and not burdensome.

As a christian you should always be working towards right living, none of us are perfect. I sometimes get into these paranoid delusions about stuff like that, for me its pre marital sex but I have been with my girl friend almost 5 months and plan to get married so I dont believe what im doing is wrong. I believe in being with only one woman but I dont believe the state has to sanction your union for it to be lagit. You can pull any scripture and think omg I did that im going to hell now, and if that were the case 100% of everyone to ever live on earth would see you there (except Jesus, but then what would have been his point of comming).

Ok, so what you are saying is that if a Christian disagrees with another Christian, then they shouldn't fellowship together? But this goes against what the Lord preaches. We should strive to work out our differences and do everything possible to avoid separation of the church because of some petty argument.
 
Not if it is simply a disagreement but if one of the partys wont let something drop and harp on it to an unhealthy level. If you have a brother that is over eating you try to support them but you dont berate them every time you see them. This is the issue of the zealot in church. They keep beating and beating and beating on something you already know about and are alread working on and that destroys relationships. Just because your brother struggles with over eating and is slowly working on it does not mean you should not be able to talk about and do other things as a friend without contiually reminding him of his over eating, if he is aware and working on it leave it alone. If you are being a zealot you can expect people to stop fellowshiping with you because it is both onerous and counter productive.

Ok, so what you are saying is that if a Christian disagrees with another Christian, then they shouldn't fellowship together? But this goes against what the Lord preaches. We should strive to work out our differences and do everything possible to avoid separation of the church because of some petty argument.
 
Ed there is a different in disagreeing with someone and distrusting someone.

Just because you have forgiven someone doesn't mean that you have to trust this person and become best of friends.

God Bless, Trish
 
If I am correct, Jesus says that we should forgive our brother 7x70 when they sin against us. '

So my question is; if someone sins against us so many times, is it a righteous, or even biblical action to say: "Hey, you've done me wrong too many times, and I can't take it anymore, so I am walking away from the friendship forever!"

Should Christians, even when they see and know that a person is struggling with some sin, walk away forever from that person?
Scripturally, yes. Paul wrote about a man caught in a sin who refused to repent and Pauls "advice" was disfellowship for a season to teach him not to blaspheme.
 
Scripturally, yes. Paul wrote about a man caught in a sin who refused to repent and Pauls "advice" was disfellowship for a season to teach him not to blaspheme.


Thank you G, however Paul writes for a season. only, not forever. Correct?
 
Not if it is simply a disagreement but if one of the partys wont let something drop and harp on it to an unhealthy level. If you have a brother that is over eating you try to support them but you dont berate them every time you see them. This is the issue of the zealot in church. They keep beating and beating and beating on something you already know about and are alread working on and that destroys relationships. Just because your brother struggles with over eating and is slowly working on it does not mean you should not be able to talk about and do other things as a friend without contiually reminding him of his over eating, if he is aware and working on it leave it alone. If you are being a zealot you can expect people to stop fellowshiping with you because it is both onerous and counter productive.

Yes, I agree with that. Otherwise you are actually being counter-productive and not instilling hope. Which is what that brother/sister needs.
 
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