Please pray for me

[Angel's Love]

This i probably going to be a bit lengthy so. lol I started out in a family of a catholic father and a pinicostal mother.

I can remember going to church as a child, I believe it was a Catholic, as I was baptized since I was little. My parents decided to call me Michael after the archangel. I have worshiped the Lord since I can remember until about 12 or 13ish.

From the stories I was told and from what I remember, I was of pure heart. I was a wonderful person with a God fearing spirit and an angel's love.(Hence the name.) After about that age, Satan did throw his biggest guns at me. And they threw me to the floor helpless.

I am not a strong person at all. I am very weak and I found that out when I started sinning very easily. Masterbation filled my thoughts as well as the horrible images and things I was masterbating to. I was racking up sin after sin and after a while decided I why care?(Im sorry Jesus I really am.)

I turned my back on God and completely shut him out of my life for good. Masterbation and lust became my daily thoughts, Ive had thoughts of HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS. About the worst and most most violent porn got me off. Things I cant bring myself to even say they are that bad. I then decided that I am not going to be forgiven for those things anyway, why stop now?

I loved getting away with what I was doing, justifying my self-serving life. I had an excuse for everything. And I did nothing but lie lie lie to get my way. I then found out later I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues, and OCD. This continued the problem as I come to generally develop a fear of people and just wanted to do nothing but stay home locked up with the lights out doing myself pleasure.

I turned to alchol to block my concious and just continued this way until I could no longer deal with it. My haits were wreaking havoc on my personal life and I couldn't handle it. I was constantly arguing with my parents who were only trying to help me.I was fighting with them. About the only thing I wasnt doing was singing praises to satan, it was that bad.

That being said Ive never harmed a fly but cant say I have never thougt about doing it. I at that point racked up debt with credit cards and ****** my credit up, and stil owe on them. At that point I had found a depression forum to help me and I decided I just wanted to kill myself.

I was so miserable I wanted to die. I really did. I could no longer live with what I have done. And I didnt even care to hand them to God as I was blaming him for everything. I had taken a gun to my head, because my father always keep them loaded just incase, and squeezed the trigger about 7/8 the way there before I stopped.

I was so scared but I was miserable. I was now looking for a different way to do it. I then met someone with simular problems and even though she was married I fornicated with her. Over and Over and Over. But I still didnt have a clue as to why I was so miserable. I have been to the doctor and have tried numerous medications but nothing seemed to work.

My depression wouldnt go away and I was getting to the point my panic attacks were getting worse and worse. I was digging my own grave as fast as I could. Honestly I wanted to be dead so badly, I couldnt stand my life and was discusted with it. I constantly blamed others for my mistakes and didnt care who took the blame, as long as it wasnt me.

Then I even started stealing things, the devil was finding work for my idle hands to do, and I didnt hesitate doing it. Just recently however, through the support of Talk Jesus and the loving of a woman, I really am changed.

It feels great but, I am still wondering if some of the things I did can be forgiven or not. But I think its the devil trying to get me back but I dont wanna go back. I hated who I was, and what I did. That wasnt me, it was like I was possesed half of the time. Not once in over 11 years did I ever pray.

I think the devil is still knocking at my door though, trying to put lies and dirty things in my mind to do. I really do ask for your prayers and support to help me through this. I am still struggling and it is really hard. I am an extremely weak person but I was so miserable before I know I dont belong there.

I really do want to get away from satan as I know have a pure heart but louded vision. The fog is still there and I am wanting out so bad. I prayed and prayed to Jesus to come into my life and I really want him to. Please pray for me.

Thank you
God Bless You

 

[Fellowservant]

Would you like me to move this tread to the prayer room? It might get more replies and prayers for you.

God bless

 

[Angel's Love]

Would you like me to move this tread to the prayer room? It might get more replies and prayers for you.

God bless

Would you please FellowServant? Thank you very much in advance and God bless you!

 

[trulyblezzed]

Angel's Love- You are much stronger than you think. The enemy wants you to believe these lies that you are weak- too weak to stay away from the sin, too weak to become that God-fearing, God-loving, God-praising person again, too weak to become an armorbearer for God. But those are all lies. You can do ALL things with Christ who strengthens you.

When we as people are feeling guilty, the last thing we want to do is pray and reach out to God to help us out of our sin and forgive us. Guilt is never from God. Guilt is from the enemy and only conviction comes from God and the Holy Spirit. Sin is fun in the beginning and then the enemy fills us up with guilt and thoughts of hopelessness. He's such an idiot and has no life, that's why he spends all his time making our lives a living hell.

You asked if God will forgive you for everything and I truly believe He will. I speak from experience. I was once in your situation- fornicating, depressed, suicidal and turned my back on God. Since I have came back to God and have truly repented, I see how God has worked in my life. I've never felt so good.

Do not give up. Do not lose hope. You ARE strong and are able to accomplish all that you put your hand to. I hope that the woman you speak about is not the married one you feel into fornication with. I will pray for you brother. Keep us posted. We want to hear about your progress.

Lord I present to you my brother in Christ and although he may have done some things wrong in your eyes, I pray that you have mercy over his life. Just like the Bible says, your mercy is new every morning. Give him the strength to overcome all obstacles. Give him trials so that he may grow strong. You will never give us more than we can handle. All of this has been a test and his multiple trials will give him an even bigger testimony. I pray for complete restoration in his life. I pray that you put more people in his path that are willing to help him and not to hurt him. Give him the strength to not overcome, but RUN from temptation. Give him wisdom to know when temptation is in his face. I proclaim that he is strong, wise and filled with integregrity. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

[Angel's Love]

Thank you for your prayer, she was married yes. ive done so much wrong in my life and i just hope God forgives me. im really a low individual and have no goodness to me.

Angel's Love- You are much stronger than you think. The enemy wants you to believe these lies that you are weak- too weak to stay away from the sin, too weak to become that God-fearing, God-loving, God-praising person again, too weak to become an armorbearer for God. But those are all lies. You can do ALL things with Christ who strengthens you.

When we as people are feeling guilty, the last thing we want to do is pray and reach out to God to help us out of our sin and forgive us. Guilt is never from God. Guilt is from the enemy and only conviction comes from God and the Holy Spirit. Sin is fun in the beginning and then the enemy fills us up with guilt and thoughts of hopelessness. He's such an idiot and has no life, that's why he spends all his time making our lives a living hell.

You asked if God will forgive you for everything and I truly believe He will. I speak from experience. I was once in your situation- fornicating, depressed, suicidal and turned my back on God. Since I have came back to God and have truly repented, I see how God has worked in my life. I've never felt so good.

Do not give up. Do not lose hope. You ARE strong and are able to accomplish all that you put your hand to. I hope that the woman you speak about is not the married one you feel into fornication with. I will pray for you brother. Keep us posted. We want to hear about your progress.

Lord I present to you my brother in Christ and although he may have done some things wrong in your eyes, I pray that you have mercy over his life. Just like the Bible says, your mercy is new every morning. Give him the strength to overcome all obstacles. Give him trials so that he may grow strong. You will never give us more than we can handle. All of this has been a test and his multiple trials will give him an even bigger testimony. I pray for complete restoration in his life. I pray that you put more people in his path that are willing to help him and not to hurt him. Give him the strength to not overcome, but RUN from temptation. Give him wisdom to know when temptation is in his face. I proclaim that he is strong, wise and filled with integregrity. In the name of Jesus. Amen.