I am posting this testimony of the spiritual battle I have been in, because I have noticed that some people are concerned about
blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I don't know if anyone would even be interested in my testimony on this, because for one thing it will probably end up being too long to sit and read all the way through. But in case you are interested, I will be telling of my experiences with the hope that it will help you to cope with and have victory over it, without all the trial and error I went through.
Chad has some excellent posts on the subject and they do a great job of explaining what it is and isn't, but they don't elaborate on the tactics of the devil relating to the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and how to overcome the attacks.
So what follows here is my personal, real-life account of an 8 week war (and counting?) with the devil and his attempts to :
1) make me believe I have committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit 2) make me doubt my salvation 3) make me doubt God's love for me 4) make me feel guilty beyond hope 5) make me believe his thoughts WERE MY THOUGHTS 6) make me lose my sanity
Throughout this ordeal God has been revealing scriptures to me, among the many others things that have happened, and the one that stands out is :
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
It is my fervent hope that all who read this and can relate to it, will take comfort in this post, like the God of all comfort has given so abundantly to me!!
So here it is now, my testimony :
For the last 8 weeks I have had continuous attacks from satan, who has been trying to put
filthy, blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit into my mind. They are the most vile and horrifying thoughts you could possibly imagine. At the beginning they absolutely horrified me and caused me no end of distress, to put it mildly!
And last but not least,
he was trying his absolute best to convince me that all those thoughts WERE MY THOUGHTS, because he knows how much torment that can cause to a believer in Christ.
Here is what I have discovered through 8 weeks of doing spiritual warfare with satan :
he is able to plant thoughts in your head that are indistinguishable from your own! Not only that,
he is able to literally finish sentences for you!
I discovered that the enemy’s thoughts blend in with my own.
At first I was unable to tell where my thoughts ended and Satan’s began.
In a split second he can finish my own thought with a swear word.
These thoughts made me feel for sure that I did the unpardonable sin and was now therefore totally lost, un-redeemable and without hope for salvation..
Now, before I continue, I want everyone to know that what I have been going through is
not at all uncommon. We read in
1 Corinthians 10:13 :
New International Version (NIV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
And perhaps some think what is meant here is that we all have temptations about similar
mundane things, like our finances, marriage struggles, losing our job, health problems, etc. But unless you have experienced a barrage of blasphemous thoughts from satan, you would not believe the above verse applies to
that kind of situation.
After all, you would suppose,
what kind of Christian would have thoughts like that? Thoughts so horrible that I wouldn't repeat them if I could. Thoughts that could seemingly only come from the most reprobate and evil mind.
That's what satan was trying desperately to make me believe, that this thing was only happening to
ME, that
it couldn't POSSIBLY happen to a "real" Christian.
He was working overtime to
make me believe that no one was as horrible as me, because anyone thinking such thoughts must be the worst person on the face of the earth. And
did I really believe a Christian could be having thoughts such as these? Therefore I mustn't be a Christian.
These are some of the things I had to battle and that initially tormented me so much.
And just to clarify, the evil thoughts weren't conscious decisions I just made out of the blue to purposely insult, grieve, malign or blaspheme God, etc.
I then, as I do now, have no desire whatsoever to say, think or do anything negative towards God, towards anyone in the Godhead. The wicked thoughts that came into my mind were VERY FAST AND RANDOM - unexpected , unplanned, etc. And as fast as I could possibly do so, I would stop the thought and take it into captivity in obedience to
2 Corinthians 10:4-6:
For the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.
At the beginning, when the thought attacks first started, I was so frightened, because as a Christian I knew that having a horrible thought against the Holy Spirit would never be forgiven, and is in fact the only one mentioned in the bible as not being forgiven.
In
fact I would literally shriek inside with horror and like I said earlier, be extremely grieved, upset, and mortified at such thoughts. Again I say, they were incredibly quick flashes of horrible thoughts, directed at the Holy Spirit. I did not sit there and say to myself anything remotely along the lines of : " I hate God, so I think I'll have some fun and do some blaspheming", if you know what I mean.
I am now going to give you just a little info about how I was attempting to stop the attacks, why that failed miserably, and what I finally figured out after listening to God and doing it His way.
If you ever find yourself , or know of someone else in the situation I was in, you will know what to do and it will save you a lot of ongoing torment.
Because I hated those thoughts I did my very best to stop them in their tracks as soon as I could - casting down imaginations, taking every thought into captivity, etc.
I rebuked satan in Jesus' name many times, I bound satan in Jesus' name many times, I listened to praise music all day long, etc.
But the attacks kept coming at me, over and over. It was hard to sleep, hard to function in the day and very distracting from serving and looking solely upon the Lord, which is what I wanted to do.
THIS IS IMPORTANT : The reason my efforts to stop the attacks didn't work was because I was trying to fight a spiritual battle with my
FLESH.
Not only that, but because of the way the human mind works, the act of trying to stop a thought, or not remember it or think of it,
GUARANTEES you
will do it!! Our natural reaction would be to try and stop and silence the thought. Trust me, no one would want such thoughts in their head about their mother, never mind God in the person of The Holy Spirit!!!
But I repeat, if you are having those thought attacks, you will heap even more misery upon yourself by trying to combat them by simply sheer force of will.
The goal must never be the avoidance of blasphemous thoughts. The harder we try to avoid them, the worse they will get.
The only way to combat them is by doing hardcore spiritual battle.
Ephesians 6:11-18 11
Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
14 Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit...
Taking up the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, is
CRUCIAL. You need to fight spirit by Spirit. There are numerous bible verses that tell us who we are in Christ, what we can expect from Him, etc. And we must wield these passages like a sword in order to defeat the enemy.
Jesus stopped satan's attacks against Him in the wilderness by QUOTING SCRIPTURE. We must do the same.
The word of God - the sword of the Spirit - tells us in
Philippians 4:7
The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Amen!
Believing in and using verses like this one is one of the weapons you need. Satan cannot overpower your mind, no matter how convincing he is to the contrary!! And make no mistake, he is very convincing!!
If satan seems to be overpowering your mind, you must pray and believe that God WILL guard it. He cannot lie.
2 Timothy 4:18
18 And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!
If being bombarded by a howitzer of blasphemous thoughts is not AN
EVIL WORK, I don't know what is!!!
Therefore, this scripture assures us that the Lord will deliver us from
EVERY evil work. Trusting in God and His incredible power and love for you is essential to gaining the victory that Christ has given you.
More spiritual battle verses :
Psalms 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Proverbs 18:10
The name of the lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and the are safe"
Joshua1:9 Be strong of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Colossians 2:15New International Version (NIV)
15
And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
We must keep our eyes on Jesus at all times, and not let satan's thoughts distract us and distress us. When Peter took his eyes off the Lord and instead looked at the waves for a brief second, he started to lose faith and sink into the sea that he had moments before been walking on.
No matter what scary distractions the devil throws at you, keep your focus on Jesus.
Unwanted thoughts are simply a form of temptation, and all Christians are tempted.
Calmly address the devil, saying something like, “In the name of Jesus I rebuke you. No matter what lies and filth you put into my head, Jesus defeated you and I belong to Jesus, and in Him there is no condemnation in me..”
Romans 8:1New International Version (NIV)
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
1 Corinthians 15:57
But thanks be to God, who gives us the
victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Psalm 27:1
1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Romans 8:37-39
37Nay, in all these things
we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I will leave it that regarding scriptures. There are so many more, the point of which is, we have nothing to fear from unwanted blasphemous attacks.
We must stubbornly resist the pressure to surrender to the enemy's lies, whether it be false condemnation or believing that we are responsible for thoughts we do not want.
Don’t waste your resources getting sidetracked into self-examination or fighting thoughts or feelings.
No matter how real and scary they seem, they are just cardboard cut-outs.
The plan of the devil with these thoughts is to try to sabotage our relationship with God. He wants us so fixated on trying to fight unwanted blasphemous thoughts and so foolishly convinced that they render us repulsive to God, that we misinterpret our Lord’s every expression of love for us.
The devil wants us to push God away through being duped into wrongly supposing that ugly thoughts render us unacceptable to the God who is head over heels in love with us.
Unwanted thoughts, no matter how repulsive, are merely pesky flies that refuse to be shooed away.
So in summary, satan putting blasphemous thoughts into the minds of Christians is not unusual or uncommon.
We must recognize that no negative thought is from God. They are a deception from the father of lies, who is a murderer, thief and destroyer.
We must focus on JESUS, not satan or his attacks. NO MATTER WHAT, focus on Jesus and never forget that He will never forsake you or let the enemy harm you. Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep. No wolf or roaring lion will take you out of His hands!!!
Jesus has defeated satan and overcome the world. All authority is given to Him in heaven and earth. What can satan do to you? What can HIS thoughts do to you? He is a weak and defeated enemy that plays on our insecurities and weaknesses, but ultimately is a paper tiger doing shadow puppets on the wall to try and scare us.
I was in utter turmoil when the thoughts first started, because I had never experienced them before. And as I said, they are SO REAL and so INDISTINGUISHABLE from your own.
But I am telling you this testimony so you don't have to have any turmoil if it happens to YOU. You will know what it is that is happening to you, why it is, and what you can do about it. Just ignore the devil, for it makes his day when he gets to you and causes you grief.
Resist him and he will FLEE.
In part 2 I will talk about some great Christians that have gone through the very thing I have talked about. And if you ever get these attacks, know that you will be in some great company!! :wink:
Thank you to www.net-burst.net for some excerpts and other writings on the subject.
here's their disclaimer :
Not to be sold. © Copyright, 2004, Grantley Morris. Not to be copied in whole or in part without citing this entire paragraph. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings by Grantley Morris available free at the following internet site www.net-burst.net Freely you have received, freely give.
