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What Happens in the Aftermath?
'...Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.' Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT
James Dobson writes: ‘It’s not the arguments that should worry married couples; it’s what happens when the battles are over. Almost all husbands and wives experience conflict from time to time, which is not necessarily unhealthy for the relationship. A verbal spat that stays within reasonable limits can open the windows and give a couple a chance to vent their frustrations and release some steam.
The important question, however, is what happens after an argument is over? In healthy relationships, confrontation ends in forgiveness, in drawing closer together, in deeper respect and understanding, and sometimes in greater physical intimacy. But in unstable marriages, conflict is never entirely resolved. This is a very dangerous situation where the consequences of one battle begin to overlap with a prelude to the next. It’s a good idea for couples to take a closer look at what happens in the aftermath of confrontation.
Are there things that you've said or done that have grieved your spouse? Do you need to ask forgiveness for attacking the self–worth of your spouse instead of focusing on the issues that divided you? Are there substantive matters that haven’t yet been resolved? If so, deal with them quickly before they can fester and erode the relationship from within.’
The apostle Paul understood this principle clearly. ‘…don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ (Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT) He wrote these words two millennia ago, but they’re still great advice for married couples today.
written by Bob Gass
'...Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.' Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT
James Dobson writes: ‘It’s not the arguments that should worry married couples; it’s what happens when the battles are over. Almost all husbands and wives experience conflict from time to time, which is not necessarily unhealthy for the relationship. A verbal spat that stays within reasonable limits can open the windows and give a couple a chance to vent their frustrations and release some steam.
The important question, however, is what happens after an argument is over? In healthy relationships, confrontation ends in forgiveness, in drawing closer together, in deeper respect and understanding, and sometimes in greater physical intimacy. But in unstable marriages, conflict is never entirely resolved. This is a very dangerous situation where the consequences of one battle begin to overlap with a prelude to the next. It’s a good idea for couples to take a closer look at what happens in the aftermath of confrontation.
Are there things that you've said or done that have grieved your spouse? Do you need to ask forgiveness for attacking the self–worth of your spouse instead of focusing on the issues that divided you? Are there substantive matters that haven’t yet been resolved? If so, deal with them quickly before they can fester and erode the relationship from within.’
The apostle Paul understood this principle clearly. ‘…don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ (Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT) He wrote these words two millennia ago, but they’re still great advice for married couples today.
written by Bob Gass
