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- Apr 25, 2006
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Getting Through Together
'Two people are better off than one... If one...falls, the other can reach out and help...' Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT
Amy Simpson says: 'When our children were four and six, I discovered I was...pregnant. Two weeks later I miscarried, sending us on an emotional roller coaster... While I recuperated, my husband held up wonderfully, but as soon as I was physically well, the loss hit him... He was withdrawn...didn't want to visit family...he just wanted to be home, [whereas]...I wanted to forget...move on...be around people. When a couple faces something that affects them differently, how do you make it work?
(1) Tell your spouse what you need. Sometimes emotions are so overwhelming you don't know what you need. Do you need space? Do you want to talk? Do you want to be around people or be alone? Listen to your mate's feelings. You may both have very different needs.
(2) Deal with the core issue. My husband didn't want to visit his family...and as we talked we discovered the real issue was he didn't think they would be very supportive - plus he didn't have the energy for a road trip of 1100 kms!
(3) Be willing to compromise. I wanted to do something fun even if it wasn't with his family. We were able to meet both our needs by getting together with family members closer to home. (4) Get help. Sometimes there's no way to compromise. One spouse wants to talk and the other can't bear to bring it up. Find a counsellor, or a Christian friend who can temporarily fill the gap. Having others pray with and you makes a huge difference. But protect the intimacy in your marriage, and don't let anything or anyone come between you and your spouse.'
written by Bob Gass
'Two people are better off than one... If one...falls, the other can reach out and help...' Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT
Amy Simpson says: 'When our children were four and six, I discovered I was...pregnant. Two weeks later I miscarried, sending us on an emotional roller coaster... While I recuperated, my husband held up wonderfully, but as soon as I was physically well, the loss hit him... He was withdrawn...didn't want to visit family...he just wanted to be home, [whereas]...I wanted to forget...move on...be around people. When a couple faces something that affects them differently, how do you make it work?
(1) Tell your spouse what you need. Sometimes emotions are so overwhelming you don't know what you need. Do you need space? Do you want to talk? Do you want to be around people or be alone? Listen to your mate's feelings. You may both have very different needs.
(2) Deal with the core issue. My husband didn't want to visit his family...and as we talked we discovered the real issue was he didn't think they would be very supportive - plus he didn't have the energy for a road trip of 1100 kms!
(3) Be willing to compromise. I wanted to do something fun even if it wasn't with his family. We were able to meet both our needs by getting together with family members closer to home. (4) Get help. Sometimes there's no way to compromise. One spouse wants to talk and the other can't bear to bring it up. Find a counsellor, or a Christian friend who can temporarily fill the gap. Having others pray with and you makes a huge difference. But protect the intimacy in your marriage, and don't let anything or anyone come between you and your spouse.'
written by Bob Gass
