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what's your difinition of dating and going out?

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Dating and going out, your difinition.

Many teenagers and young adults really want to get a boy/girl friend and start going out and dating. But do they actually know what dating is? what it brings you? what you are and aren't supposed to do as Christians/God'd followers? Well I just wanted to know what your oppinion and difinition of going out and dating is. Is it just kissing, hugging, holding hands, or is it more than that? I would love to hear from all of you. God bless.
 
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Well as a teen myself, I want to share with you what most of my friends call "going out."

They see "going out" as asking someone they like if they will "go out" with them, then they consider that "dating." Weird, I know! But what I don't get is, where is it that they go out to? Can someone tell me that? They never go any further than talking over the phone, or a romantic lunch in the school cafeteria.

My opinion and meaning to the whole "dating" game is very different of course. I'm not one to "be like the rest." (If you haven't noticed, I just did, I like to use the "quote" thingy's) Anyways, I do not call it dating. I think we need to go back a couple decades to where people courted. (No offense to those of you who have used that term in the olden days) It is a lot less involved to me. I do not call it courting either. Actually, I do not call it anything.

I think that a person should not date until God has them to. Even if it is just a high school crush. I myself have never dated. Never, and I am 17 years old. I do not want to waste my time on something that will wast my time. Understand. If I know I cannot have it, and it will not work with God, I do not want to even bother with it. I will still befriend that person, but no "dating." And yes, alot of people judge me for that. But like the song goes...." I believe what I believe, and that makes me who I am."

God Bless
Sis in Christ:love:
Lnrobar
 
Member
Hey lnrobar. God bless you girl. thanks for the reply. I agree with the things you have said but I also have my own oppinion just as everyone else does. :smile:. Well ok, personally I'm not "going out" or dating till i'm going to be at least 16. but I think it will last more than that of course. well I view a date as a couple, going out to eat, or just going somewhere together. Not just to go make out and hug, but just to get to know each other and come closer to God. I view that as a true date. Even in the olden days, people just got together, if they did, to get to know each other better. If you look at non-believers they also do that, get together to get to know each other better. I think that is all a relationship or "going out" and dating should be. Comming closer to God and getting to know the real yous. The fun part comes after you're married, and I'll leave it at that. What's the point of wasting yourself before marrige, you'll have nothing to give to your spouse. I urge all you teens to not do anything, not tie yourself down till you're ready and when God provides you. for instance, take jenn and david for example. great example for us all. God bless you all. :smile:
Tanya
 
Member
well.....thats a very good question...
For me dating and going out with each other is similar !!!!What I mean is thats al most the same...I never had a date or went out with someone(boy)!!!So I dont really know what I schould say...But going out with some one is haveing fun and talk alot with each other....And dating in my eyes is when 2 people "like" each other and go some where and spend time together with hope that that girl or boy will sometime after that date will be his/her girlfriend/boyfriend!!!Thats dating to me when you spend time ALONE!!!and going out with someone is when your not ALONE.....
I hope I made my point!!

Im 16 and Im really hoping that god soon brings a boy in mylife that I can say yep...that was a date or somethin like that!!!!I mean I spent a lot of time thinkin about how long its going to take till I find that person but if you ask me now I will say no I never had a date or a boyfriend And at the moment I dont want one Im happy with mylife and I dont need one now!!!Its a funny feeling knowing your the only one out of your class that never had a boyfriend but I learned to live with that feeling!!!And I know God will bring me the wonderfull person in my life and till then I have to focuss on other things in mylife!!!

well thats what I have to say o it!!!
God bless...:love:
your siss in christ Kara *Sunset*
 
Member
Just thought i would add my thoughts to this as i was a teenager once.I courted my wife between 17-20 and always tried to do it in a manner that would please God.We would kiss and hold hands but that was it.The times when we were alone were often in public places so we were never bought into temptation.At other times we would have a chaperone.It all sounds very old-fashioned now,especially with a lot of peer pressure on pre-marital sex.Sadly we are no longer together but i can look back with pride that we spent our first night as man and wife as vigins,clean and unblemished in Gods eyes.
 
Member
To me dating would be considered getting to know someone whom you really want to get to know.....to see if that person is RIGHT for you. T see your similarities and things yu dont have in common with each other.

I personally have not gone on a date. I do not intend to for atleast another year.

But dating is not always kissing and flirting and stuff. It is a way of getting to know each othe personally. And to see if you might just have a shot with this guy/girl.

Well thats my opinion
 
Member
i think its a personal thing that you have to figure out but you should be first educated and be spiritually mature enough to understand fully and take a step into anykind of relationship. (i reccomend first the bible then "Lady in waiting"<==very very very good, and joshua harris's books).
I dont think you should date or court or anything anyone you dont know god has lead you to.to me theres no "thinking" god lead you to this person because God will tell you and you will KNOW.
Fall compleltley madley in love with god head over heals(the bible says in Jeremiah "i remember how faithful you were in your youth youloved me as if you were my bride."it also says in proverbs "gaurd your heart for it is your living well" and theres more scripture but i'll stop here) once you fall deeply passionatly in love with god and seek first his kingdom he'll show you who you are and who you will be.then when your ready and its his timing he will give you your perfect match.
beleive me brothers and sisters i know this because i've lived it and trust me there is nothing more amazing, more wonderful, more undescribable than love from God.
-Andrea
 
Member
Dating & Relationships

The question What is Dating? was posted, so here's a little input from someone who's 18, and fixing to go to college and and doesn't date and doesn't know what she's talking about but might have an idea.

Dating, to me, is preparation for Marriage. Like many of y'all have said, its go get to know someone. Thats the basic purpose of it. But in the process, we give little pieces of ourselves to whoever we are trying to get to know. The common misconception of Dating today is that it is there for pleasure and physical satisfaction. My personal conviction since the end of my freshman year of High School was that I should not be seeking to date, or be involved in an intimate human relationship, until I found utter satisfaction in Christ's love alone. Psalms says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I believe that when one comes to the point where one becomes truly selfless and satisfied with God's will, he will give us the desires of our hearts. As for me, something really cool happened last summer, when I told God, that I was completely satisfied where he had me and with what He had me doing and that to serve him in that way was what I wanted for the rest of my life. I told Him that what He wanted for me was what I wanted. God knew my heart, and saw that I was delighting in Him. How funny it is that the very next day, he brought someone into my life with whom I have a wonderful friendship that is growing because of the Lord. We both seek to serve our God and follow his lead. What will happen in the future, only the Lord can reveal to us with time. But right now, I am satisfied with God, and will continue to be, and from here I guess we'll just have to see what happens next!

The end! lol
 
Registered Member
Jesus is Lord!

"(No offense to those of you who have used that term in the olden days)"


Inrobar: Yes, a couple of decades. No offense taken. You are precious.

Your Sister in Christ,
Dr. Bon Vie
 
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Member
okies.. here goes...

Princess487 said:
Many teenagers and young adults really want to get a boy/girl friend and start going out and dating. But do they actually know what dating is? what it brings you? what you are and aren't supposed to do as Christians/God'd followers? Well I just wanted to know what your oppinion and difinition of going out and dating is. Is it just kissing, hugging, holding hands, or is it more than that? I would love to hear from all of you. God bless.
dating hey?? i love ur question!! its an awesum 1! really is!! 2 me, dating is proberly.. i duno really how 2 explain it...its weird...
but ill say this.. you all like know ichthus dont u? u shoudl..lol.. newayz, hes my bf.. 4 the 3rd time... afta we broke up the 2nd time, we both sed dat we would pray that if it was Gods will, we would get bak 2getha... well, i 4got bout it.. but he didnt.. he kept prayin 4 me an us.. i went out wif anuva guy.. which obviously didnt work out, but taught me some lessons.. then Simon reminded me of this.. i prayed bout it, and got a thort in my head of 'the only person i could eva see my self wif now is simon'.. an so i told him, but sed i didnt wana go out wif ne1 4 a month cuz i had just broken up wif my ex an i was a mess.. literally.. so i kept praying.. and the cool/freaky thing 4 me was that my emotions went through like a month or 2 of emotions in like a week or so... it was like it was Gods timing for us 2 be back 2getha, and so he made it happen...
an yea.. i know theres barriers in our relationship... i feel like i need 2 set them again cause of some stuff.. but yea, i know where 2 stop and wots ok.. its like its Gods timing...
so wif ur question... i would say, its ok if its obvious that its Gods will for your life. if u dont know.. pray bout it, and it will become obvious if its supposed to happen or not...

yea well im done.
 
Member
Hey dating is actually mini marriage trials. By seriously dating someone you are trying to figure out what you like and dont like in a person and you are trying to see if you could see yourself with this person for the rest of your lives.

Going out is the agreement that you will only see that person alone

dating is not
sex
physically driven
just bcause you want to fit in
joke

When u date you often put alot of fellings in the way after a while and it can make or break a person

Out of personal experience the worst thing you can do 2 somene you love is make them higher than God and not have a God driven relationship

But ya I love my b/f but really i dnt advise serious dating until one lears to be able to control ones emotions and keep track of reality..
 
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It's so interesting to see everyone's different responce on dating. It makes me smile but like you all said, ... lol nvm. well it's still interesting to see the different responces. God bless you all. I love you all. bye bye:smile:
Tanya
 
Member
Reply to Dating and Going Out

Princess487 said:
Many teenagers and young adults really want to get a boy/girl friend and start going out and dating. But do they actually know what dating is? what it brings you? what you are and aren't supposed to do as Christians/God'd followers? Well I just wanted to know what your oppinion and difinition of going out and dating is. Is it just kissing, hugging, holding hands, or is it more than that? I would love to hear from all of you. God bless.
well hey i just noticed this Post thingi so yeah!!

i woudl calss dating. as... if i ask some one out on a date i woudl expect to take them to the movie or to tea or somethgin and get to know them Heaps well and things liek that so it woudl be noticable if i woudl choose to go out with this person. i woudl class dating as a way to get to know people well by takign them out and having no physical contact apart from liek a handshake or a hug or what ever how you would greet them....

i woudl calss goign out as somethign more so takign them out and holdign hands and kissing and such things liek that but i woudl rather class that as goignt out rather than Courting.

i woudl class courting as the developement in a relationship where you are both wantign to be together untill marrage, in one case it can be seen as realising that you are not gogitn out with the person for thier affection and so you can use them for kisses and hug's and things such as this. i woudl cladss it as both of you wanting to be together and being able to see past each others differences and thing liek this...

i woudl say that if you were goignt out set your standards ^ high and then if some one matches these standards it must be good with God on your side and both of you praying about it i do not see how things can go that far wrong....

many of you know Aimz i am sure she is my Gf. and i do not see her as somethgin that i use for Kisses and huggles. i have had some bad experiences with her. this is now the 3rd time we have goen out. i have prayed to God about the R/S every day well every night since we broke up the second time. and now we are back together and about 2-4 weeks ago i stopped prayign and things got a bit out of shape. and we have now spoken about this and i have started to Pray again..... i am unaware if she does or not. but i knwo that if we both Love God and @ least on of us is prayign for each other or the R/S. i do not feel that things can fall short from God....

Love ICHTHUS!!!
 
Member
I think of dating or going out like this now that I am a Christian and living for God. If I am dating someone, it is because I feel they can possibly be my wife someday and I want to find out if they will be. I think that dating someone for any other reason besides them being a potential marriage partner is a waste of time. If it is just about huging and kissing, it can possibly eventually lead to more. You are basically just setting yourself up for temptation, and for what, if you don't think you would ever marry this person? I think before you start dating someone you should really take a lot of things into consideration and then decide wether or not this person could possibly be your marriage partner someday. Then, you can find out wether or not you are right for each other by dating. Nobody is worth giving Jesus sorrow. Jesus is our best friend, and no one should get between you and your relationship with him (that means no pre-marriage sex). Hope this helps.
May God Bless You
 
Member
My Opinion

As a 13 year old boy right now, I have the urge to go out with lots of girls. I know it is just a crush but it gives us a certain feeling for such a short time. "Going out" means to me that you and the person you like, are dating each other and not seeing other people. For me, I go on dates but I have never gone farther then just a kiss on the lips for like 2 secs. Even though this may seem wrong, all of my girlfriends are devoted christians too so we can worship God and talk about him in the open without having to be embarrased.
 
Member
Princess487 said:
Is it just kissing, hugging, holding hands, or is it more than that?

Of coarse it's more then that!!!
Before I became a christian I would just go out with any guy, even if I didn't like him, I just wanted the feeling of actually being loved and wanted. But, when I gave my life to Christ, I realized, that it's not the guys that can give me that feeling, it's God!! I havn't had a b/f since about a month after I got saved (May 6th of this year). It may seem like nothing to everyone else, but it feels like I've been a christian forever, it's a wonderful feeling knowing God loves me, and wont stop. And I know one day, he will bring along the right guy, he will be christian, we will communicate, and the main thing, we both will have great feelings towards each other. Loving someone doesnt always mean you have to kiss and hug them all the time, you can express how you feel for someone in other ways.
I don't think I really answered anything there, lol sorry!
But God Bless ya anyway!!

*Dal*
xox
 
Member
I think dating by todays standards is a bit warped. I find that too often a 'relationship' is the selfishness of one in the party. I'd stay clear of dating in the teen years because it can be dangerous to your walk with Christ. I don't think that kissing, hugging and likely breaking up in the end will help much.
 
Member
In the bible it never says the word dating. Instead it talks about that before a women and a man would live together for 9 months but of course not in the same room. Now you are supposed to have many friends but not "date" them because there are alot of temptations that u just can't resist as a teenager especially. I'm saying this out of experience it's better to have as many guys and girls who are your friends because what is the difference from being just friends and being a couple? There isn't suppose to be any because you can get to know them as ur friend except in a couple there is more power over the other person. If u really are thinking of dating then u should be ready for marriage.
 
Member
Why do teens date anyway?

Apart from the usual "dating to be cool" and stuff like that, many teens date as a way to get to know someone better. This is my opinion:

If you want to get to know someone, why not build up a friendship with them instead of dating them, that way you will not risk temptation and will not ruin a possible friendship if the dating doesn't work out.

Dating can only lead down to different roads: One, you eventually break up, or two, you eventually fall in love and get married. So unless you want to date forever, maybe you should wait for the right person before you "test" everyone else.

God has got some one for you and he's not going to let you miss out, so if you want to date, always make sure it's fo rthe right reasons, try friendship first, and always make sure it is based around God, coz he's not going to want you to be with someone who doesn't follow him.

I have never dated, and don't plan to, because I trust in God and know that he will show me who to marry or date when the time is right. A famous saying that I really agree with is:

:love: Love is just a friendship set on fire:love:

Give the feelings you have the Corinthians 13 test and make sure it's REAL love before you take action... Just to be safe.
 

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