Hi reba
I would like to take this opportunity to say that there is nothing wrong with you. You are experiencing enemy bombardment. Basically Im not saying that what you feel isnt from you, we all get depressed from time to time, that is natural, but we recover from it and move on. However, unfortunately Satan has other plans. Your emotions are targeted and when that happens sometimes we leave ourselves open he can Augment or accentuate that particular emotion, ie: if you are depressed he can lock you in that state for an indefinite period if and stir up a whirlwind of emotions within you to such an extent that you literally feel like itsgoingto rip through you. However, this is where you can choose to strike back. Take your rage and aggression and aim it straight at your enemy. First of all if you want to fight and claim back what is yours which is peace of mind and joy etc... you need to accept your salvation as someone above said. That is one of the very first tactics Satan will use to ensnaire you, encourage you to doubt that you are forgiven and that God doesnt love you. This couldnt be more wrong, it is stated 150 times in the New Testament that God views the saved sinner from that instant (accepting him) as united to Christ. From then on he is said to be "in Christ". Viewing the saved sinner "in Christ" simply means that the infinitely holy God from the moment of Salvation, looks upon him as being united to his Son. God see's him therefore, in all the holiness and infinite perfections of His Son, whose very righteousness is imputed, or reckoned, to the believing sinner (Philippians 3:9,2 Corinthians 5:21).
It is at this point that confusion is interjected in the minds of so many believers. They fail to see that this is positional truth - truth that applies to the mind and reckoning of God, and concerns the unchangeable placement of the believer in Christ as the result of Christ's redemptive work on the cross.
In an era of rampant occultism and increased demon activity,great perplexity exists among many christians concerning the extent to which Satan and demonic forces can enter and control the life of a believer. Many christains naively assume that the potential of Satanic power in the life of the regenerated is practically nil. They live in a sort of fools paradise, imagining that becoming christians magically shields them from satanic attack or demonic invasion.
Other believers hold a more realistic view. They are fully convinced that satanic powers may not only tempt and attack but that, if they are not repulsed, they may affect the saint's and do serious harm in his experience. They may influence him, delude him, despoil him. Always however,they attack the saint from without, but never exercising total control him.
To hear many believers speak today of the powers of darkness one would conclude that becoming a christian automatically shields a person, if not from satanic and demonic attack, then certainly from demonic invasion and despoilment. But if satan and demons can do attack,which hardly any instructed and experienced christian can deny, the question must be squarely faced:What happens if satanic and demonic onslaught s are not resisted? Will the powers of evil merely leave the believer alone simply because he is in christ?
A still more pressing problem remains. What happens if not only an attack is not countered but the fortress of the believers position in christ is unguarded and the doors left wide openby flagrant disobedience?
Careful facing of the issues in the light of the Word reveals that the experience of salvation furnishes no magical protection against satan and demons. Salvation, however, does provide miraculous protection (God working supernaturally). And what the difference there is between the two.
This miraculous protection is the result of appropriating the power of God. The Holy Spirit who indwells the believer is the power of God. He is "greater" than Satan and his hosts who are "in the world" (1 John 4:4),and he effects victory in the believer on the basis of the believers faith in what they are in christ and so do not count on that position do not enjoy automatic protection from demonic despoilment and intrusion.
Recently I spoke with a group of bible believing group of christians who regularly have the word expounded by competent teachers. One of the believer an able musician and bible student. Having serious domestic problems,this believer shied away from a realistic consideration of a subject he declared was negative and depressing. Evidently wearied with the spiritual battle, he wanted to hear no more about war with its ravages and casualties. Peace and victory were what he desired to hear.
But this person overlooked the fact that he was succumbing to one of Satans deceptions: "forget me and my maneuvers, and I'll leave you alone!". It is perilous to ignore the adversary. The apostle Paul realized that. "We are not ignorant of his schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:11), he declared. It is equally hazardous not to stand against the enemy. The apostle realized that fact too, "Therefore take up the full armour of god, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything,to stand firm. Stand firm therefore" (Ephesians 6:13-14)
Im being ushered off the net so Im going to have to go however, if you need me feel free to email me, any time. You are all welcomed. If you need anything, even if its just to chit chat then Im here. Also,I hope this helps at least a little. God bless.
Ivan