What to do when a person just wants to argue during your witnessing

[hadirfuss]

What to do when a person just wants to argue during your witnessing
by Dan Langerock

What do you do when someone wants to argue with what you are trying to share with them about the Lord? Do you just give up, pray about it, or keep talking? Here are a few suggestions when someone is being querulous:

1) When you first encounter the person, begin praying for an opening that the Holy Spirit can use to soften their heart. In a sense it is like a spiritual chess game, with the Holy Spirit telling you which pieces to move. If they begin to argue, try to discern if they are really wanting information or just trying to push your buttons. Remember, they are rebelling against God, not just what you are saying. Are they truly seeking God or just wanting a good fight?

2) It is not how much you say that matters, but that you say what God wants you to. Here is a secular example: My dad owned a furniture store when we were first married, but he was deaf with hearing aids to help him.. Sometimes, because he couldn’t hear exactly what was said, he would begin by selling the piece of furniture, then he would talk so much the person would decide against it. The same thing can happen when we witness,. We can be so intent on saying what we think should be stated, that we say too much .

Being sensitive to the person’s needs at the time, and to what the Holy Spirit wants you to say is the only sure way to witness. Remember your job is to plant a seed, not necessarily harvest the soul. God gives the increase. He is the one who must deal with that person through the rest of their life.

3) If someone wants to argue about keeping the Ten Commandments, for example, refer them to Romans and Galatians in the New Testament. The people I have encountered in this stance have not read these two books. Tell them you will be glad to discuss the subject again with them after they have read these two books honestly. This way you are letting God deal with them as they read, if they do. If they just want to argue, they will likely not read what you tell them. Let them know you will help them answer any honest questions they have, but that you will not argue with them.

4) A person was trying to argue with me about the Bible, one day, saying they had a question. However, it was obvious they just wanted to argue so I told them “It is good to have questions but sometimes questions can keep you from God”. Some people have all kinds of questions, one after another, but they never get any closer to God because all their questions get in the way. You must discern if this is what is happening through the Holy Spirit, so you don’t waste your time and resources on someone who really doesn’t want answers.

Sharing with people what God has done in your life is one of the most powerful tools you can use. People love a good story, so write it down and practice telling what God has done in your life. God bless you as you minister in His Name.

 

[stephen]

Hello Sister.

A very good post, and an interesting point re-What to do when a person just wants to argue........

Bro Jiggifly says "preach the gospel, and if nesessary use words"

When I was a young man debate was not something I feared. I would debate through the night, about what the bible says. And I convinced fellow youths that Jesus is real. The truth of scripture can be defended successfully.

But today, with the knowledge years alone can bring, I would not argue. Being more aware of the Holy Spirit, I leave it to Him. I speak a few words, and with His aid, those words will be like darts in the soul.

I am no longer out to win the argument........I am winning.........so I leave the matter with Jesus.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

What to do when a person wants to argue.........

Stephen, I'd like to expand your point a little, if I may, by adding this adviceo not lose your cool! As point #4 in Hadirfuss' post says, often what looks like an innocent question is a trap and the questioner is playing games.

If you allow him/her to push your buttons to the point where you erupt in anger, you will lose all your credibility with the questioner and any person he/she tells about the incident, and any opportunity you might have to witness to them in the future will be lost.

It is incredibly important to stay cool.

SLE

 

[beccasmom]

Thank you for posting this. My husband and I have been witnessing to my parents. They are both catholic and feel that you do not need to be "saved" to get to Heaven. The Bible teaches otherwise. My mother loves to argue(guess thats where I get it from) and the last time we had a talk with them about it, my dad did not say a word and my mom went on and on about how our church does not worship or pray to Mary. I told her that in John chapter 2 even Jesus called her woman. No where in the Scriptures does it say to pray to Mary and worship her. So I will print these tips out and use them the next time we talk. Thank you again.

 

[DonaldUK]

Hi,
please read the thread From Old to New ...

Thanks

 

[honest]

Thank you for bringing up this subject. I was so encouraged by the different ways of handling these kinds of situations. God bless you all!

 

[trulyblezzed]

2) It is not how much you say that matters, but that you say what God wants you to.

Amen to that! Alot of people have the right intentions when beginning to speak with someone, but come off the wrong way when saying it. Be careful with your tone. Good tip

Sharing with people what God has done in your life is one of the most powerful tools you can use. People love a good story, so write it down and practice telling what God has done in your life.

Yes this is such good advice. The most effective way that I have brought people to God's path is by telling them my testimony. God gives us testimonies for a reason... for us to use them! :star:

 

[lettheredeemed]

We are just the messengers. If they want to debate I just let them know that I am just the messenger and it is strickly their choice to believe or reject the Word of God. I make sure that they understand that it is not Jesus will that anyone perish but that all come to repentance. But Jesus gives us all the choice.

2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

 

[Ann]

hadirfuss this is a great post and very useful.

I just want to add that when none of the advice in your post works, like with my mother, just refuse to argue - especially if the other person wants to convince you of scriptures that they interpret incorrectly.

My mother goes to the 7th Advetist church and they believe some strange things althought they read the same Bible as us.
For excample they don't believe in body, spirit and soul and they also believe that after death there is nothing - absolutely nothing, everything just dissapears??

I found that discussing scripture with her makes her very angry and she don't want to listen to anything I say.
So now I refuse to dicuss it with her and just pray for her salvation.

Thanks again for the post, I will surely be able to use it with other people.

Blessings!

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Re: Arguing/Witnessing

Ann, your post was right on the mark. A wise man once said: "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." You cannot argue or manipulate a person into the Kingdom. You cannot use high-pressure sales tactics in effective evangelism. I once spent a month living in a homeless shelter. One of the workers there told me that their regular "clients" make the rounds of local church-run shelters and "get saved" every day so they can get a free meal.

Your decision to drop the subject where your mom is concerned and pray for her is the wisest course of action. I would caution you about one thing, however: Scripture says that if you ask anything that is in God's will and do not allow doubt to take root in your heart (see Mk 11:23), you will receive whatever you ask. But, you may not be the person who leads her to the Lord. Its like ordering a pizza. We make the call, we have faith that the pizza will be delivered, but we have no control over who makes the actual delivery.

SLE