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What do you tell her?

Member
I have a difficult question among family issues. You don't need to be a parent to answer this. Just imagine yourself being so if you are single. And to those who are parents also your experience should help to answer this tough kind of maybe rare situation. I'll ask this below.

Suppose you had a daughter who was 14 years of age. She told you she was staying at her best friends house. You felt she was safe enough. But these two girls invited two teenage boys both 17 years old.

Five months later your daughter tells you she is nearly five months pregnant.

Knowing she should be going to school. Not old enough to raise a family. And you're most likely pro life against abortion. So if you were her parents how would you try to handle this? What would you tell your daughter and perhaps even that boy having any responsibility what to do now as a new baby will be born in four approximate months?

I hope some can answer this one. I am curious and might even learn something new from this. Try your best on this one.
 
Active
I have a difficult question among family issues. You don't need to be a parent to answer this. Just imagine yourself being so if you are single. And to those who are parents also your experience should help to answer this tough kind of maybe rare situation. I'll ask this below.

Suppose you had a daughter who was 14 years of age. She told you she was staying at her best friends house. You felt she was safe enough. But these two girls invited two teenage boys both 17 years old.

Five months later your daughter tells you she is nearly five months pregnant.

Knowing she should be going to school. Not old enough to raise a family. And you're most likely pro life against abortion. So if you were her parents how would you try to handle this? What would you tell your daughter and perhaps even that boy having any responsibility what to do now as a new baby will be born in four approximate months?

I hope some can answer this one. I am curious and might even learn something new from this. Try your best on this one.
Hopefully I won't have this issue. But first I would ask what happened. And hopefully my daughter trusts me enough she could. I wouldn't automatically think she was at fault, because rape does happen also. I'd want to assure her she is safe and check on her friend if it was that. But otherwise, I would help her through pregnancy/parenting. Tell her I was disappointed, and it would be hard parenting as a teenager, but would be there for her. I'd probably put her in homeschool if she had a hard time. Kids can be cruel. [BGCOLOR=initial] Then I would welcome my grandkid. The boy I would need to talk to him and his parents also, but try to teach them Biblically what to do as parents and that they were not condemned for a mistake. [/BGCOLOR]
 
Active
The first question I would ask her is what did I do wrong? Of course I would be angry at the boy,but it does take two to tango. After some prayer I would want to discuss this not only with my daughter but also the parents of the boy. No yelling or screaming,its to late for that! Since the deed is done,it would do no good to say harsh words,but look to reason together on how we move on from here. ( Isaiah 1:18) Also reinforce my love to my daughter,because she is going to need our support. It sure would not be an easy task but as a God fearing adult,I am to be the example not just to my family, but to there's as well.
 
Loyal
In the UK that's a criminal offence on the part of the boy.

Whether I'd move to prosecute would depend on what sort of relationship they had.

In terms of what to say, probably the fewer words the better - a time to stay quiet and listen. My priority would be to support my daughter (and grandchild) through very difficult days.
 
Active
I have a difficult question among family issues. You don't need to be a parent to answer this. Just imagine yourself being so if you are single. And to those who are parents also your experience should help to answer this tough kind of maybe rare situation. I'll ask this below.

Suppose you had a daughter who was 14 years of age. She told you she was staying at her best friends house. You felt she was safe enough. But these two girls invited two teenage boys both 17 years old.

Five months later your daughter tells you she is nearly five months pregnant.

Knowing she should be going to school. Not old enough to raise a family. And you're most likely pro life against abortion. So if you were her parents how would you try to handle this? What would you tell your daughter and perhaps even that boy having any responsibility what to do now as a new baby will be born in four approximate months?

I hope some can answer this one. I am curious and might even learn something new from this. Try your best on this one.
Hello @BlessGod'sPeople,

There are two people involved in this, a 14 year old girl and a 17 year old boy. Three year's difference in their ages. Both at school still. Is this the result of a relationship? Was it consensual, or not? All of these things will influence what actions are taken, won't they.? If it was the result of a relationship, is it one which the girl wishes to pursue, if so a meeting with the boy, and then with his parents will be necessary. If it was not consensual, then a crime has taken place, and the perpetrator should be brought to justice, but that in itself will add to the trauma of a 14 year old girl giving birth to a child, with all the challenges it in itself will bring. Is that an action she wants to pursue? The school will need to be informed and arrangements made for schooling to continue in one form or another until after the birth takes place.

The girl's parents will be shocked and saddened by this: and this will be transmitted to the girl obviously, for there will be a reaction. Yet, ultimately, as loving parents it is the welfare of their child that counts, and their unborn grandchild. So a consultation with the doctor, and all that is involved and arranged in leu of a birth has to be set in motion. Decisions have to be made about the future of the child within the family, considering the age of the mother, and the necessity to complete her schooling. An interview with School authorities, and plans put in place for schooling pre and post birth.

Peace within the home will be vital for all involved, Father, Mother and siblings, as well as the mother-to-be, and her unborn child. love and acceptance will have to come, and a determination to rise to the challenge on all fronts. For this is a life changing event for all concerned. Communication and a willingness to listen, openness on the part of everyone is the ideal, but at least mutual consideration and the attempt to put personal hopes and plans to one side in order to accommodate the change to come.

I have been looking at this with the ideal family situation in mind, Mum, Dad, secure home, financially sound: this bombshell situation would be hard enough within that home, but in a broken home, with a single parent, and a difficult financial situation to cope with it will be so much more difficult. Yet, love and consideration does not depend on the ideal situation, and if there is also faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, then there is the hope that His love and grace will be there in spade-fulls to make coping with it all so much easier.

These are my thoughts, With the hope that this is hyperthetical, and not a problem you are having to face, I send you my love.

In Christ Jesus
Chris
 
Active
Hello @BlessGod'sPeople,

There are two people involved in this, a 14 year old girl and a 17 year old boy. Three year's difference in their ages. Both at school still. Is this the result of a relationship? Was it consensual, or not? All of these things will influence what actions are taken, won't they.? If it was the result of a relationship, is it one which the girl wishes to pursue, if so a meeting with the boy, and then with his parents will be necessary. If it was not consensual, then a crime has taken place, and the perpetrator should be brought to justice, but that in itself will add to the trauma of a 14 year old girl giving birth to a child, with all the challenges it in itself will bring. Is that an action she wants to pursue? The school will need to be informed and arrangements made for schooling to continue in one form or another until after the birth takes place.

The girl's parents will be shocked and saddened by this: and this will be transmitted to the girl obviously, for there will be a reaction. Yet, ultimately, as loving parents it is the welfare of their child that counts, and their unborn grandchild. So a consultation with the doctor, and all that is involved and arranged in leu of a birth has to be set in motion. Decisions have to be made about the future of the child within the family, considering the age of the mother, and the necessity to complete her schooling. An interview with School authorities, and plans put in place for schooling pre and post birth.

Peace within the home will be vital for all involved, Father, Mother and siblings, as well as the mother-to-be, and her unborn child. love and acceptance will have to come, and a determination to rise to the challenge on all fronts. For this is a life changing event for all concerned. Communication and a willingness to listen, openness on the part of everyone is the ideal, but at least mutual consideration and the attempt to put personal hopes and plans to one side in order to accommodate the change to come.

I have been looking at this with the ideal family situation in mind, Mum, Dad, secure home, financially sound: this bombshell situation would be hard enough within that home, but in a broken home, with a single parent, and a difficult financial situation to cope with it will be so much more difficult. Yet, love and consideration does not depend on the ideal situation, and if there is also faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, then there is the hope that His love and grace will be there in spade-fulls to make coping with it all so much easier.

These are my thoughts, With the hope that this is hyperthetical, and not a problem you are having to face, I send you my love.

In Christ Jesus
Chris
Our (white) daughter was 14 when she got pregnant by her black boyfriend. In TEXAS, IF the younger of the couple is at least 14, AND not more than 3 years younger that the older member of the couple, AND if neither member has a conviction for a sexual crime, AND if no violence was involved (i.e. completely concentual), that constitutes an affirmative defence against a charge of statutory rape. SO - no legal issues. we then became the legal guardians of the baby (so that she had access to our insurance), and did most of the "raising" of the child, until she graduated High School, and got a job with health insurance, and married. Now we have great grand children. Not the cheapest, or most convenient solution to the issue, but arguably the best one.
 
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