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What Do I Need Help With? -- Panic and Near Constant Fear

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I am tormented, often, over months (5++), about the thought of selling my soul, committing suicide, and having or committing the unforgivable sin, or others doing these things. I think that I am plagued by intrusive and obsessive thoughts, and the spirit of fear.

Whatever I do, shopping, reflection on past sins, reflection on others sins, reading passages in the bible about the unforgivable sin or times people were struck dead for their sins, thoughts in my head about fictional scenarios, games and movies and fictional concepts, the stress from my diet and even hormones and menstruation, and knit-picking over every little action and if it is breaking a commandment and fearing ABBA will punish me or be disappointed. We read through the Torah (the books of Moses, or books of the Law, the 1st 5 books), and it was a wonderful experience. However, I then looked at my life, and feared about everything I was failing in, and tried to improve my living to observe Sabbaths, keep them sacred, and not work on them, but keep the peace (though we struggle with arguments).

Everything throws me into fits of fear. Should I fast, or is that faithless? Is this a reason to fast? I have countless reasons to fast! I don't feel I'm ready to fast again, as I have struggled with doing it exclusively since I first started 3.5 years ago, or some later point. How long do I fast and from what, and for what? It's wearing. I became like this with everything I thought might be a sin, is a sin, was a sin, inside and out, with condemning severity.

It is written:
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Romans 8:15 KJV

Therefore, do I need to fast or relax, eat and drink normally, and trust in my Salvation from YAH by the sacrifice of YAHoshua? While fasting helps, I have also progressed without fasting, and I have come [, I have been told by my brother,] to be dependent on fasting to satisfy or comfort me, or something, over whatever things wear on me, and, as noted, that is seemingly everything.

My brother tells me he has had this problem before, and the only way to overcome it is to "stop seeing God as a tormentor and see Him as the Loving Father that He is." I agree. I was even the one who used to say this very thing. I do not understand everything, everyone, circumstances, times, or places, but I know ABBA loves me, wants me Saved, wants to provide for me, give to me freely gifts and all good things, teach me, Comfort me, and raise me as His own. I want that, and have that, and I simply need to stop panicking that I did this or that, or wanting to make up for something, or prove I can do better next time, though I may not. I am not forsaken. I am Loved by the ultimate Father.


Faith, hope, and Love (agape) mean trusting in God to do what He says, that it'll turn out well, and that He will do it with all selfless devotion, care, patience, and understanding as the one Perfect "Everlasting Father."

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.
Isaiah 9:6‭-‬7 KJV

7 I will mention the lovingkindnesses of the Lord , and the praises of the Lord , according to all that the Lord hath bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which he hath bestowed on them according to his mercies, and according to the multitude of his lovingkindnesses. 16 Doubtless thou art our father, though Abraham be ignorant of us, and Israel acknowledge us not: thou, O Lord , art our father, our redeemer; thy name is from everlasting.
Isaiah 63:7‭, ‬16 KJV

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you. Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:1‭-‬39 KJV

Strong's g26

- Lexical: ἀγάπη
- Transliteration: agapé
- Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
- Phonetic Spelling: ag-ah'-pay
- Definition: love, benevolence, good will, esteem; plur: love-feasts.
- Origin: From agapao; love, i.e. Affection or benevolence; specially (plural) a love-feast.
- Usage: (feast of) charity(-ably), dear, love.
- Translated as (count): love (106), of love (5), in love (2), beloved (1), love feasts (1), to love (1).

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not agapé, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not agapé, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not agapé, it profiteth me nothing.
**4 Agapé suffereth long, and is kind; agapé envieth not; agapé vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Agapé never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.**
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, agapé, these three; but the greatest of these is agapé.
1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬8 KJV


We are being perfected in Faith, Hope, and Love (agapé), and all required for these, by ABBA, our Father.
 
Loyal
Hello Yenee. I'm glad I read your post to the end. You referenced a lot of the verses that came to mind when I read the first paragraph.

I pray that you continue to find peace in God and in the love of Jesus.
 

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