Unforgiveness and Hate

[ladylovesJesus]

Unforgiveness and Hate
(By Charles Stanley, In Touch Ministries)

One of the most destructive attitudes for a Christian is hate. Think about it. How well can the saving light of Jesus Christ shine in a life that is totally covered in hatred, anger, or rage? And what picture of Christ does this type of person show to the unbelieving world?

Hate is a total breakdown in the Christlike attitude we're called to exhibit. But even in churches, it's not hard to find individuals boiling over with hostility. Where does it come from? One of the key reasons believers can be prone to hatred is the inability to forgive those who caused them an undeserved hurt.

Let's take a "hate test." Think about someone who hurt you in the past, and consider these three "heart checks."

First, if you hate someone, you cannot shake the memory. Does the scene play out in your mind over and over?

Second, if you hate someone, you cannot wish him or her well. Can you still wish the best for a person who's hurt you?

Third, if you hate someone, you want that person to hurt just as you hurt. Do you secretly desire this individual to experience the same pain you felt?

If these questions revealed any hidden animosity in your heart, don't leave your chair until you prayerfully meditate on Ephesians 4:31-32. Read the passage aloud. Personalize it into your prayer. And let God's Holy Spirit cleanse your heart of hatred by empowering you to forgive an old hurt.

 

[Dreamer]

That is a very good test. Thank you for finding this and providing it, LLJ; very beneficial heart test

 

[Tonyb]

I've know of Christian's who have had great difficulty in forgiving others, particularly when they have been traumatized by the person who caused their pain. Sometimes some feel they can't forgive and in a sense this is true, (but not the truth) sometimes God has to work on people to bring them to a place of faith where they can truly forgive.

There are so many areas were Christians sin, especially when they are young in the faith. But in time they will grow if they; As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: 1 Peter 2:2. And there after continue to...grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ... 2 Peter 3:18.

Blessings,
Tony

 

[Chad]

I love Charles Stanley's work. I have some of his books. He cuts to the chase, no swaying around the truth nor sugar coated preaching.

I like this simple, straightforward "test" of forgiveness. Sometimes, I find it hard to forgive people. There are some I know who are complete hypocrites and who continue in their selfish ways regardless of claiming to be apologetic or such deceitful "sorry". This is where forgiveness becomes difficult. Its not that you don't want to forgive them, but more so that you know they will continue in their selfish ways and continue to hurt you. These kind of people I would cut off fellowship with as they become only a stumbling block to you.

In the end, forgiveness should not be optional. If cutting one off in fellowship for sake of not hindering your growth in Christ, so be it. Forgive that person, move on with your life without him or her. This is how I found it to be necessary, at least from my experience. I know there are certain situations / circumstances where you cannot cut fellowship with someone. An obvious situation would be marriage. However, we should always forgive and ask the Holy Spirit to prune the things form our lives that hinder our walk with Christ and fellowship with Him

 

[crossabove]

we just have to

For God so love the world that he give his only son, that who so ever believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life. He loved us so much and that is the reason he at first created us in his own image, but our sin has make a diffrent between us, so he send Jesus so die for our sin. So who are we not to forgive.... hence the creator can forgive us of all... i mean all our sin then we just have to do the same thing because the is what make us a christ- like(christian).
Definatly if we dont forgive those who have tress-pass against us, we shuld not be hoping for his forgiveness.

God Bless you for this Thread.
PUSH

 

[Property Of God]

If someone hurt us, they hold us prisoners to that hate, we are not free, but captivated by wounds and scars, if you forgive right away, you won't be taking revenge later on and that's the whole point I suppose.

If we refuse to forgive someone, oneday someone will refuse to forgive us aswell.

 

[Maureen]

What do I do in this circumstance?

My son and his wife have done nothing but to and fro in their marraige, it is only 2 years old.
He leaves her, or she puts him out, he got us involved as he wanted to live in my Uncles house, he'd left it to me in his will, I let him do so.
I do not hold any anmosity towards his wife but we haven't saw each other since it all started, that was Dec last year.

She has done quite a few nasty stunts before this, even as to smashing a glass in his face for which he ended up in jail in Spain for 70hrs. He has never been in trouble in his life, he's 29yrs.
Also she is a J.W. which doesn't help matters.
My son got saved last year, but it didn't last, 4 months to be exact, as she confused what he believed in with hers.
As I say, I don't wish her any harm, I was able to answer NO to all LLJ Hate Test.

How do I stand in the forgiveness category would you think?
Do you have to befriend the person or is it alright if you don't hold any bitterness toward them in your heart?

 

[iahm87]

no. it's not right to hold bitterness toward them in your heart. as far as I'm concerned. You have to forgive them to the point that you'll love(agape) them and befriend them again. If you don't desire to have anything to do with them and not talk to them for years, that would be unforgiveness I think.

I read in a book called spiritual warfare by Richard Ing that there was a person who harbored bitterness toward his parents (He's a christian) but he prayed to God that he already forgave them but still don't want to talk to them. They haven't talked in years. That's not really forgiveness.

 

[HisFollower]

response to Unforgiveness and Hate

“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”. Simple, and to the point, and exactly agreeable with the law of equity:
it is absolutely fair and without respect to persons.
There is a reason Christ told us to hate, it is so that we can be like Him! We ought to know enough about Christ to know that He hated sin, and was not at all friends with sin, as He would also have us not to be friends with sin. When Christ told us that we cannot be His disciples unless we hate all those close to us, and even our own self, He was referring to hating sin; any willful, deliberate sin that comes from any(by the way, sin comes from human beings, just like us). Moreover, when sin is willful, deliberate, we cannot separate the sin from the person’s willful intention to sin; simply put, we should hate it, when someone sins on purpose, we should hate that they want to sin on purpose, and we should hate such an attitude as deliberate sin, because it is calculated, pre-meditated, because willful sin is knowing it is sin, but still doing it anyways.
Christ also told us that we shall be preserved unto life eternal if we hate our life in this world; and here Christ refers to denying ourselves, that is, denying our own will, which by the way is a sin also, for we cannot say, Thy will be done, and yet say, My will be done; that is why we call Him Lord!
Finally, at the end of Jude it is mentioned, that, “hating even the garment spotted by the flesh”; which is to say, that we who profess Christ Jesus, should hate even the slightest touch of secular principles and practices.

 

[Maureen]

I know I don't hold any bitterness toward this person, because I hear my family say they would walk past her if they were to pass in the street, I know I wouldn't do that.

My son has finished with her now, so there is no reason she would ever have to come to our house, if anything I believe that is because she resents me as she was the last one to say that she didn't want me to bother with her ever again.

I don't hold it against her, it's just that we will not be speaking together in the future but I still would that she would find happiness herself, I would not wish her ill.
This is just the way it is.