I'm really depressed and down at the moment. I've messed up my life so far and now i'm messing up even more. i'm so beind at school that i think i should leave and start again elsewhere next year. i'm actually quite scared cause the thoughts ive had about kiling myself have become more and more real the last few eeks and i've found myself siiting in the library in my free's writingsuicide notes and i spend my time thinking about ways to kill myself. i have self harmed for 2 years now but stopped for about 5 months until about 3 weeks ago when i did it again quite badly. i have also recently found myself waking up in the mornings in agony because i've taken so many paracetamols the night bfore. i do have counselling but i havent told them how i feel. i'm just really stuck at the moment and i need some christian support and prayer. i'd ask someone at my church but as my dad is the minister i dont think i can because he cant find out whats going on again, he was really angry at me for spoiling their 'perfect family' reputation! I just give up!!!