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trying not to fall apart

I need prayer and counselling I am totally depending on God to see me through this situation. I have been married for 13 years now and have not been able to have a child, my problem is my husband , five years ago my husband had an affair God helped me through that situation I forgave him and just started to put my life back together, only to find out two days ago that he has another relationship and this time the girl is 4 months pregnant for him.

I am shocked and angry and dont know what to do I am trying not to fall apart, I am not sure I want this marriage this is if I have one ,sad to say I still love him I need all the advice and prayer I can get out there.

Please help me
You Are In God's Hands!

Dear Precious One,

You may feel like you are falling apart; but you are safe in God's Big Strong Hand! What you are feeling is quite normal during this crisis. The feelings are very intense. The hurt you feel goes to the core of your very being. The anger you feel is quite justified (that doesn't mean that you get to do anything sinful with that anger). This is without question the worst kind of betrayal and rejection that a wife can endure. But you CAN endure it! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. In your weakness He will be your strength.

Remember that even though all those crazy, intense feelings are very real and almost overwhelming... They are just feelings. You need to feel them and not be afraid of them. You also need to seek Godly counsel from your Pastor or a seasoned Christian friend or Christian counselor. I am available to do all I can. I will start by praying for God's intervention. He WILL see you through this.

You must remember to take care of yourself during this time. Try to get some rest when you can. Eat good food. Walk in the sunshine. Spend extra time in the Word and prayer - get your friends praying for you. Find someone to talk to (be careful who you confide in-don't let the enemy set a trap by sending the wrong listening ear). Don't shut down!!! Don't give in. Don't give up.

God will give you the wisdom you need to make decisions, but you don't need to be in a big hurry ---God isn't. It is very important that you do not do anything or make any decisions based on fear. You must walk in faith not in fear - that is essential! Listen to the Holy Spirit and follow His lead. You may be absolutely confident that Christ will see you through this. It may take a lot of time, and it will certainly bring some tears. That's okay. Go ahead and cry when you need to-but don't do it in front of your straying husband. If you must have contact with this man, allow him to see your confidence in the Lord in spite of all that is going on. God is a husband to the widow--and I can tell you from personal experience that He is a husband to the wife betrayed by an adulterous husband. And, Honey, Jesus will never, ever leave you or forsake you...never, ever. You can count on our Savior for all you need.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."

Thank you for your words of wisdom, I am trully allowing God to take over, because the battle is not mine but the Lords.I pray everyday that God will give me strenght and widsom to deal with my husband. I have close friends who supports me by prayer and councelling

I am taking one day at a time and everyday God give me a word for that day. Thank You for your concerns and prayers God Bless You.
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Dear Vsatoo, I've read your post a number of times & I do not feel qualified to give you advise. I can't even conceptualize what you are going through. My heart hurts for you.
My only thoughts turn to questions.
Have you and your husband gone through conselling as a couple and individually? I think that is an important step. Can you seek counselling via your church? Is your husband a believer? Is there anyone you can lean on right now? How supportive is your church?
Please feel free to PM me if you would like to talk confidentially.
I will be praying for you...
Staff Member
Hello vsatoo...

This is certainly a tough position to be in but keep in mind that NOTHING is too strong for our Lord Jesus. He overcame death so He can help YOU overcome any obstacle in life. Please remember the real "life" begins in the kingdom of GOD's, Heaven :)

I will pray for you and surely keep your faith no matter what.
My husband and I were having problems and we tried Christian counseling and it is working out wonderfully. I will be praying for you and I hope you know that you are not alone. God is always with you and so are all of your Christian brothers and sisters. If your husband won't go for counseling, maybe you can go alone and get the advice and support you need. Please seek a Christian counselor, I once got advice to leave my husband from a secular counselor because his problems (control issues) were not treatable. This counselor told me that my husband would never change. Not only did I stick it out and pray contantly, but I convinced my husband to go to counseling and now our marriage is stronger than ever. With God all thing are possible, even the most hopeless of situations. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus and everything will turn out alright. God bless you.
Many seem encourage a quick departure from a spouse. But God said."What God has brought together let no man break apart. God Bless you.
Staff Member
bchines said:
Many seem encourage a quick departure from a spouse. But God said."What God has brought together let no man break apart. God Bless you.
But it is not always GOD that brings people together (in marriage that is). It is people that think they are "made for each other" and do their own will. Not say that this is the case for this special person, but generally speaking that is.
My heart gets sadder and sadder everyday, there is a pain in the pit of my stomach that won't go away.I depend on God for strength each day, I don't think my husband loves me any more, he refuses to go to church or even counseling, we are living in my father inlaw's home ,we live like strangers and breaks my heart to see him leave everyday to be with her, he refuses to take his resposiblity at home, take a lot of sick leaves to be with her, spends all his money on her and does not surport me. I don't think I can take the emotional abuse and I am thinking about moving out to keep my sanity