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Tormented -- Mental, Physical, Physiological Diseases or Demonic Assault

Member
Hello,

I am putting this under prayer requests, because I am tired of the suffering. I search, I read, contemplate, pray, fast, and still these things were on me as the mill to the grain, and I am sifted as fine flour. __ Thinking this, I hope to be a fine loaf for ABBA ( Father ).



*Long-Winded Warning: Read This*

I have experienced other miracles and wonders, such as pouring rain so severe that a sunny day became *actually impossible* to see through the windshield, and we were parked at a light, about to turn. I asked, "Let up the rain", I got a no no, "But why?", correction "let up the rain", "okay", "Let up the rain!" I was recently Saved, and had no doubt or hesitation, and I was in late teens or early 20s. The rain instantly let up to nearly gone -- a sprinkle.

Nonetheless, I am constantly faced with disorders that are or can be moderately to severely physically, mentally (ability to solve), emotionally, socially, psychologically (wares on mind) impairing, and spiritually grieving (word? I wanna scream, cry, give up!), frustrating.

Can I simply pray away all my problems if *only* I had the faith?

Which of these, if any, are demons, curses, generational curses, or otherwise?

When should I accept that prayer, fasting, reading, and praying doesn't make it all stop, and I'm not a faithless / faith-lacking heathen, or double-minded?

Where does the expected Christian experience of spiritual torment end, and a bigger problem begin?

When is it something I need to come to a better realization, understanding, and acknowledgement of, such as finding out false teachings, or exorcism is needed?

When should I fast to resolve a matter, in what way, and how long?

When is it faith to continue life as normal and not let it get to me, verses it being faith to do something about it?



*Long-Winded Warning: Skip Below, if Overwhelmed*

There may be excellent threads on here to comfort me, inspire me, and help me through a rough patch, and plenty of YouTube videos, and countless Google Searched resources that boost me; but I and my brother still suffer, personally. So, please, I am asking , as the scripture says, for the prayers of the saints ( " Pray for one another " , " bear one another's burdens " Bible Gateway passage: Galatians 6:2, James 5:16 - King James Version ). Tips, Search Terms: " bible, bible definition, Christian " before your quotes or questions in a browser. If struggling with searches, focus on the key terms or concepts of importance, and ignore sentences. Filler words such as " to, the " help little to none. Hopefully, this will remind to post on How to Use a Search Engine later; but where?


__ I am diagnosed with:
Severe Autistim.
I, both parents, brother, relatives, ancestors __ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) -- mine is moderate to severe
Face Blind ( Prosopagnosia ) -- formerly severe -- YAH healed! !
Tourette's Syndrome -- mild
Intrusive Thoughts
Severe Depressive Disorder -- no further clarity
Severe Anxiety Disorder -- no further clarity
Unknown Immunological Disorder -- see SSS
Seizures -- while already sleeping, or under certain, excessive environmental conditions



__ Pending Diagnoses ( suspected to outright proven, but the right human authority hasn't signed off on it, yet ) :
Gentically varified inbred, resulting in XXXX Disorder
Endocrine assessment
Genetic assessment
Further metabolic assessments
Further immunocompromised assessments
Solanine Sensitivity Syndrome ( SSS ) \\ Nightshade Intolerance / Allergy \\ Solanine Toxicity Disorder ( STD -- you can see why they haven't got a set name for it, yet! To note, that other one is now STI -- I for infection )
Feral Child -- mild ( they don't add the word Syndrome )
Pseudo-Orphan Child Syndrome ( Not Abandoned / Orphaned Child Syndrome )


__ Why I mention these:
I hear a heavy lean on beliefs about these things. Everything from " it's all demonic assault and curses " __ or distinguished: " mental, physical, spiritual -- all can be healed through the power of prayer, if *only* with undoubting faith through prayer and casting out in Jesus/Yahoshua' name " __ to " sometimes / oftentimes it's a *real* problem you simply have to live with. "


The LORD healed me in an instant from double pinkeye. _ My brother and I, *in agreement* in desperate *need* to eat together without contention ([for fellowship]), were able to simply eat a meal, containing things we *knew* would hurt us, and the instant he had the idea and prayed it wouldn't I *knew* in the spirit, it would not -- and it did not! _ The LORD, for the sake of allowing us to honor His High Sabbaths (New Moons, Passover), *when we pray* that the wine (which I am fatally intolerant to!) will be as "medicine to us and do us no harm" then causes us to *feel/perceive* the same covering / buffering sensation as the meal occasion, and experience no alcohol induced side effects nor immunocompromised responses, but medicine ( I'm serious -- but it *only* works when *pray for it* in our understanding, undoubting confirmation, for to *Honor YAH*, without drunkenness! ).

My brother was told, with the feeling/perception of spiritual dread, that if I ate Goji Berries, I would "die." I simply searched up side effects, and found out they are from the Nightshade family, and contain Solanine. Looking into my diet, I found seemingly everything I was eating, especially at that time, to contain Nightshades. I had previously suffered bowl blockage, inexplicably, when, in a bought of financial difficulty, we were eating only potatoes (almost nothing else). I removed Nightshades from my diet, and I was healed. I was 25 and needed a cane to walk, was hunched over perpetually, suffered horrific lower back pain, obesity and weight loss issues, migraines, severe water retention, severe crippling menstrual cycles, Charlie Horses, and more. I can now stand upright, walk without being home-ridden, regular (I used to skip months) and notably lighter menstrual cycles, and all these things have healed gradually to completely. This has been an ongoing miracle for me, and I would say for my brother, as well. __ To note, the financial, emotional, social, and psychological stress of working so hard to eat a (pretty much paleo) diet, wares on us, and we oftentimes give in to eating things for comfort, sanity, expense, grief over constant arguing.

[clipped to top]

I anger people so bad they threaten my life or bodily harm, and I need have little to do with them over a period of time, or I have a relationship or developing relationship with them.

I can't eat out or with others, lest my dietary restrictions offend.

I have panic attacks, even over things I learned in scripture and how I am falling short.

Even after I come to a conclusion and resolution, the matter wears on me (and physical reminders the more so).

I find myself repenting repeatedly for old sins, and wanting or trying to make up for them, especially if items remind me. And I wonder if there is some lesson I didn't learn or I am or will as yet fail to do better.

I try, and I see ABBA working in my life, I improve, but I struggle when others can't seem to see it.

I am told, "you're not / I don't believe you're / you can't be / hearing God [on this / that matter]" , or, "God isn't like that! God doesn't want that for you!"

I am exhausted by having the faith for miracles, reading scripture often, and even daily +, fasting from food and water for days, praying constantly, researching Christian Cures and prayers, miracles, confirmations, and experiences, and being left wondering where I am lacking.

Can I be an alcoholic, live on cake, fornicate, fantasize about murdering people for the pleasure of it, esteem myself superior, blaspheme to my hearts content, steal, deny charity, or repeat old sins perpetually, or even indefinitely, NO.

But I have grown up with learning disabilities, dietary restrictions, medical and other issues, and little treatment. The bible and even New Testament shows people *not* being healed and cleansed of *everything*. Can God heal a stab wound? Yes. Many true, Saved believers died from them. Most Yokefolk, when faced with sickness, fire, lions, have died! Is it all faithlessness? Job lived, but his children and servants did not, yet, should we assume none of them were True Followers? Paul murdered, slaughtered the faithful, and they did not escape his hand; yet, he was forgiven, and he, afterwards, was not killed for those crimes, by the families of those loved ones, but allowed to endure a new being.

I have blasphemous, intrusive thoughts run through my mind. I disown them, cast them, and whatever devils out, but I am still bothered.

I struggle to communicate with others without causing offense, and Paul did, too.

I can eat poison without harm, at all, but I still suffer consequences if I try to live on the foods I grew up with?

I was abused, neglected, molested, and denied medical and other care at the risk of my own life, and I am still learning how to interact with other human beings; but I remain socially awkard andw offensive, and easily used and hurt.



Legal Disclaimer: As the individual suffering these conditions, I authorize my legal right to disclose this information as I see fit.
 
Member
I am caught in a vicious cycle (seeking ABBA is throughout):
1. I try to have Fellowship
2. I offend
3. I try to fix things
4. I cannot
5. I back off to allow healing for both
6. I fantasize and contemplate the matter in a fictional setting, sometimes from different views, or I simply make up for having no healthy human relationship by trying to picturing what it could be like.
7. My contemplations may reveal things about myself, help me understand ABBA and the Word better, help me understand others better, help me mature in heart, mind, spirit; but, often, my imaginations eventually sour and pervert, especially when I am contemplating things that do or continue to leave me in a rut or at a loss for insight*.
8. I deal with any traumas* onwardly
9. I address myself however ABBA guides me
10. I repeat this cycle when things look calmed (hours to days later, as their behavior displays, and I can cope -- though molestation* is an exception taking months)

It seems as though I have many issues that stem from a few problems, that grew out of simply growing up hated and/or lacking for love and room or help for growth.


Long-Winded Warning: Details Below

* Traumas
I seek ABBA'S help, though at times I hurt so terribly I cannot seem to do anything but scream inside, reliving abuses (such as molestation, or touches that remind me of times I was molested), so I drown out unwanted thoughts with music, fantasy, work, and other distractions, while still seeking ABBA in scripture, prayer, and fasting as I can bear until I take a rest to avoid thrashing violently, wailing, and self harm, because the phantom hands, images, betrayals, and essential memories are that severe/violent for me.

For those who may say, "that's when you read more, pray more, fast more", I push these things so hard, *at times*: I cannot sleep or be awake without bible audio playing. I read actively, taking notes when able. When I go to work, I push extra hard, pray [what one may call] ceaselessly, slip into distractions of thought/fantasy or action to avoid intrusive attacks. Crochet (ABBA gave this to me, and blessed me in it <3 ). And all while segregating myself from entertainment that distracts my thoughts and increases torment by allowing my mind to *wander*. **And all while fasting increasingly more frequently, and for longer-and-longer durations from food and water, to the extent my brother fears I will die.**

I've cast out these thoughts and demons casually. I've performed exorcism after fasting. I quite on all games, movies, eating out, reading anything but scripture and online Christian articles. I cease porn (very rare occurence in a 5-year span), masturbation (seasonal occurrence at most, and correlates with dietary allergies, accidental or deliberate, which causes internal inflammation), lustful or romantic thoughts (the idea or visualization without basis in a real person), and all fantasizing about anything. I avoid unnecessary social interactions and chitchat, bury myself in work at home and occupation. I give up all hobbies beyond cooking and crochet, change my diet to remove harmful things and nearly all food luxuries (beyond lentil and rice soup with meat).

I continue this way for months, gradually relaxing as the thoughts depart, I regrow in faith, and stop having panic attacks from flashbacks.


Traumas:
1. I've a mysterious inability to not drive people to violent wrath against me or their self (homicide or suicide) -- attributed to autism and severe lack of human socialization (( had nearly no human contact from 14-24 years, except abusive mother, [transitioning from abusive to loving] brother in Messiah, and pass by encounters with Shamanness landlord ))

2. I had few friends in my whole life, and almost never met with them outside of school. Socialization was always kept minimal by our mother throughout our entire lives, except for the need for public school, where I struggled to make friends or even so much as acquaintances with other children. I found myself alone in prayer on the playground, and in near continual detention (for being slow in elementary school). Cheating became a requirement by the 6th grade, as no one had the interest or patience to teach me, including those things they considered basic -- it granted survival, "or else."

3. I was neglected by father, and abused, neglected, and molested, and more by my mother, and even my brother in Messiah and on earth, and even near raped by our dog among other encounters before and since (significant shaping of sexuality -- especially since I knew nothing of sex, and barely about gender!). Forgiveness helps, but it doesn't change the past, remove all the trauma, or change the individuals. Even when the individual works with God to change, it's still a struggle, as it has been for my brother, who lived through all this, as well. __ So, I am delayed, heavily, in development, boundaries, social decency and understanding (even "basics"), and what to and not to bring to the table, or what to pursue privately.

4. The above 3 hurt my relationship with my brother [and others] in Messiah and in blood, and so too does my zealously, as noted in the cycle of giving up everything, over-and-again, only to realize it leaves little room for fellowship beyond reading and discussing scripture and all things concerning our Walk, food, and crochet.

To note: I am sworn to celibacy, as I felt I needed to give this to ABBA in the hour of my Salvation. Scripture supports celibacy for the Kingdom's sake -- I didn't even know this scripture at the time. Also, I was Saved about a month before I turned 18, whenafter I had planned to run away, find a good husband, have children, "do better than my parents ever did", and raise them all and grow in YAH the LORD. These were my last 2 goals, then: God Almighty and a righteous marriage with children raised in YAH the LORD God. I gave up the latter for the former, but it doesn't mean I don't want for it.
 
Active
My goodness me Yennee, you really have been through the wringer!! Poor you.

One thing's for sure, you seem to have a pretty good handle on what the various issues are, which is a good start. Let me assure you that whilst your head is undeniably a bit messed up, you are NOT Satan possessed, no you are a sweet dear sister with quite a few issues and problems, none of which are beyond the power of God, nor does God want you living a life messed up. He wants you healed, loving and praising Him and witnessing about His miracles in your life.

You need to do your part in constant prayer, God is your way through this. He can get you through, and you need to accept and believe that and keep on mithering Him just like the widow in Luke 18:1-8. When I say mithering, what I mean is that it's likely to be more of a process than an instant cure, and you need to keep constantly in touch with God, not just asking but acknowledging your dependence, praising Him, loving Him and completely worshipping Him. Take a look at a thread I posted last week on mental health and the sermon highlighted about the prophet Job Does Depression Hold You Back? I'm assuming you haven't got mental health problems, just Autism that's been exacerbated by some pretty awful treatment and dire experiences that will have inflamed your condition. Nevertheless you might find the post helpful.

Pray for the gift of the Holy Spirit. He can get inside your head and give you revelations of God's grace, love and majesty. He can help push out the unwelcome dark thoughts and issues; especially the fears that come with your condition.

You really do need human interaction. What better place than in a church full of loving, caring Christian brothers and sisters? I accept that during a pandemic isn't the ideal time to find a church, when many are closed up, but you can sometimes get a feel for the church from their website. Narrow it down to 4 - 5 and give the vicar/minister/pastor a ring and chat to him/her about your situation and see what help and pastoral care they can offer. You'll probably need a church of reasonable size rather than a small chapel. I would hope that they have members living close to you that can befriend and support you with regular phone calls and emails and once Covid's over, with visits.

When you're meeting people for the first time, it would be useful for you both if very early on in the conversation you explained that you suffer from Autism, give them a brief résumé of what that entails and warn them that whilst you've got a 24 carat heart, they need to cut you an awful lot of slack because you sometimes misinterpret.

With regards to the healing, you really need to seek counselling. A good counsellor will be able to steer your understanding of the past, help you to make a bit of sense and give it some perspective with a view to eventually putting this all behind you so you can move on.

If you want to chat more, by all means PM me, I'd be happy to hear from you and befriend you. I should warn you that I'm not the most prolific due to pressures of work etc. I'm going to knock off now and say a prayer for you.

Please, chin up, keep praying and praising and thanking God for all your many blessings. May God bless you even more - and more!

Best wishes,



Andy


=================================================

Dear Lord God,

Thank you for my dear sister Yannee. You've managed somehow to get past all her dark experiences, issues and problems and reached out to her and drew her into you, so now she's a wonderful, beautiful disciple of Jesus and child of yours. Thank you God for the extraordinary lengths you go to invite and draw each one of us to you; you really are a wonderful and an amazing fantastic God. It's true that had we not accepted your invite, your son's death on the cross would have been pointless, that and the fact that you love each of us dearly prompted you to reach us and draw us to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you dear God.

I want to pray for my sister. Firstly thank you for being right there with her, helping her get through all these pretty awful experiences she's recounted on here. I pray now for healing. Thank you Lord for all the resources you've given us, such as your Holy Spirit, the church and the Bible but most of all I thank you for the direct line we have to you, our father God in Heaven. Thank you for your never ending love, limitless power and wonderful care. I pray Lord for your leading of our dearest sister, give her the healing that she needs and deserves. Reveal to her just some of the plans you have in store for her. Keep her close to you, protect her from all harm.

We love that we can come to you asking the impossible in faith, knowing that really there's no such thing as impossible for you. We love that you love us so much that you're quite prepared to do the impossible; nothing is too much trouble because your love Lord is endless.

Amen.
 
Member
I am caught in a vicious cycle (seeking ABBA is throughout):
1. I try to have Fellowship
2. I offend
3. I try to fix things
4. I cannot
5. I back off to allow healing for both
6. I fantasize and contemplate the matter in a fictional setting, sometimes from different views, or I simply make up for having no healthy human relationship by trying to picturing what it could be like.
7. My contemplations may reveal things about myself, help me understand ABBA and the Word better, help me understand others better, help me mature in heart, mind, spirit; but, often, my imaginations eventually sour and pervert, especially when I am contemplating things that do or continue to leave me in a rut or at a loss for insight*.
8. I deal with any traumas* onwardly
9. I address myself however ABBA guides me
10. I repeat this cycle when things look calmed (hours to days later, as their behavior displays, and I can cope -- though molestation* is an exception taking months)

It seems as though I have many issues that stem from a few problems, that grew out of simply growing up hated and/or lacking for love and room or help for growth.


Long-Winded Warning: Details Below

* Traumas
I seek ABBA'S help, though at times I hurt so terribly I cannot seem to do anything but scream inside, reliving abuses (such as molestation, or touches that remind me of times I was molested), so I drown out unwanted thoughts with music, fantasy, work, and other distractions, while still seeking ABBA in scripture, prayer, and fasting as I can bear until I take a rest to avoid thrashing violently, wailing, and self harm, because the phantom hands, images, betrayals, and essential memories are that severe/violent for me.

For those who may say, "that's when you read more, pray more, fast more", I push these things so hard, *at times*: I cannot sleep or be awake without bible audio playing. I read actively, taking notes when able. When I go to work, I push extra hard, pray [what one may call] ceaselessly, slip into distractions of thought/fantasy or action to avoid intrusive attacks. Crochet (ABBA gave this to me, and blessed me in it <3 ). And all while segregating myself from entertainment that distracts my thoughts and increases torment by allowing my mind to *wander*. **And all while fasting increasingly more frequently, and for longer-and-longer durations from food and water, to the extent my brother fears I will die.**

I've cast out these thoughts and demons casually. I've performed exorcism after fasting. I quite on all games, movies, eating out, reading anything but scripture and online Christian articles. I cease porn (very rare occurence in a 5-year span), masturbation (seasonal occurrence at most, and correlates with dietary allergies, accidental or deliberate, which causes internal inflammation), lustful or romantic thoughts (the idea or visualization without basis in a real person), and all fantasizing about anything. I avoid unnecessary social interactions and chitchat, bury myself in work at home and occupation. I give up all hobbies beyond cooking and crochet, change my diet to remove harmful things and nearly all food luxuries (beyond lentil and rice soup with meat).

I continue this way for months, gradually relaxing as the thoughts depart, I regrow in faith, and stop having panic attacks from flashbacks.


Traumas:
1. I've a mysterious inability to not drive people to violent wrath against me or their self (homicide or suicide) -- attributed to autism and severe lack of human socialization (( had nearly no human contact from 14-24 years, except abusive mother, [transitioning from abusive to loving] brother in Messiah, and pass by encounters with Shamanness landlord ))

2. I had few friends in my whole life, and almost never met with them outside of school. Socialization was always kept minimal by our mother throughout our entire lives, except for the need for public school, where I struggled to make friends or even so much as acquaintances with other children. I found myself alone in prayer on the playground, and in near continual detention (for being slow in elementary school). Cheating became a requirement by the 6th grade, as no one had the interest or patience to teach me, including those things they considered basic -- it granted survival, "or else."

3. I was neglected by father, and abused, neglected, and molested, and more by my mother, and even my brother in Messiah and on earth, and even near raped by our dog among other encounters before and since (significant shaping of sexuality -- especially since I knew nothing of sex, and barely about gender!). Forgiveness helps, but it doesn't change the past, remove all the trauma, or change the individuals. Even when the individual works with God to change, it's still a struggle, as it has been for my brother, who lived through all this, as well. __ So, I am delayed, heavily, in development, boundaries, social decency and understanding (even "basics"), and what to and not to bring to the table, or what to pursue privately.

4. The above 3 hurt my relationship with my brother [and others] in Messiah and in blood, and so too does my zealously, as noted in the cycle of giving up everything, over-and-again, only to realize it leaves little room for fellowship beyond reading and discussing scripture and all things concerning our Walk, food, and crochet.

To note: I am sworn to celibacy, as I felt I needed to give this to ABBA in the hour of my Salvation. Scripture supports celibacy for the Kingdom's sake -- I didn't even know this scripture at the time. Also, I was Saved about a month before I turned 18, whenafter I had planned to run away, find a good husband, have children, "do better than my parents ever did", and raise them all and grow in YAH the LORD. These were my last 2 goals, then: God Almighty and a righteous marriage with children raised in YAH the LORD God. I gave up the latter for the former, but it doesn't mean I don't want for it.
Bless your heart. This seems unbearable. Thank God you survived! Did you get Disassociative Identity Disorder from all this? You know, my pastor did a special prayer for my husband and I to have a spiritual cleansing and make us virgins in the spirit, to wipe out any and all unclean encounters that might spiritually limit our ability to become one. Maybe something like that might help you. You can message me privately just to talk about stuff so it's not so public. I am married with 2 kids from different men. I was raped and kept the baby but I was older and it was nothing compared to what you have suffered. Having a friend you can talk to that won't ever judge you or make you feel bad always helps us not feel so isolated and "weird" if you know what I mean. You have recovered quite well actually considering what you have been through. You are such a strong person who never deserved one bit of that abuse. I hope you have made them carry their own shame because none of it is yours.
 
Active
Hello,

I am putting this under prayer requests, because I am tired of the suffering. I search, I read, contemplate, pray, fast, and still these things were on me as the mill to the grain, and I am sifted as fine flour. __ Thinking this, I hope to be a fine loaf for ABBA ( Father ).



*Long-Winded Warning: Read This*

I have experienced other miracles and wonders, such as pouring rain so severe that a sunny day became *actually impossible* to see through the windshield, and we were parked at a light, about to turn. I asked, "Let up the rain", I got a no no, "But why?", correction "let up the rain", "okay", "Let up the rain!" I was recently Saved, and had no doubt or hesitation, and I was in late teens or early 20s. The rain instantly let up to nearly gone -- a sprinkle.

Nonetheless, I am constantly faced with disorders that are or can be moderately to severely physically, mentally (ability to solve), emotionally, socially, psychologically (wares on mind) impairing, and spiritually grieving (word? I wanna scream, cry, give up!), frustrating.

Can I simply pray away all my problems if *only* I had the faith?

Which of these, if any, are demons, curses, generational curses, or otherwise?

When should I accept that prayer, fasting, reading, and praying doesn't make it all stop, and I'm not a faithless / faith-lacking heathen, or double-minded?

Where does the expected Christian experience of spiritual torment end, and a bigger problem begin?

When is it something I need to come to a better realization, understanding, and acknowledgement of, such as finding out false teachings, or exorcism is needed?

When should I fast to resolve a matter, in what way, and how long?

When is it faith to continue life as normal and not let it get to me, verses it being faith to do something about it?



*Long-Winded Warning: Skip Below, if Overwhelmed*

There may be excellent threads on here to comfort me, inspire me, and help me through a rough patch, and plenty of YouTube videos, and countless Google Searched resources that boost me; but I and my brother still suffer, personally. So, please, I am asking , as the scripture says, for the prayers of the saints ( " Pray for one another " , " bear one another's burdens " Bible Gateway passage: Galatians 6:2, James 5:16 - King James Version ). Tips, Search Terms: " bible, bible definition, Christian " before your quotes or questions in a browser. If struggling with searches, focus on the key terms or concepts of importance, and ignore sentences. Filler words such as " to, the " help little to none. Hopefully, this will remind to post on How to Use a Search Engine later; but where?


__ I am diagnosed with:
Severe Autistim.
I, both parents, brother, relatives, ancestors __ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) -- mine is moderate to severe
Face Blind ( Prosopagnosia ) -- formerly severe -- YAH healed! !
Tourette's Syndrome -- mild
Intrusive Thoughts
Severe Depressive Disorder -- no further clarity
Severe Anxiety Disorder -- no further clarity
Unknown Immunological Disorder -- see SSS
Seizures -- while already sleeping, or under certain, excessive environmental conditions



__ Pending Diagnoses ( suspected to outright proven, but the right human authority hasn't signed off on it, yet ) :
Gentically varified inbred, resulting in XXXX Disorder
Endocrine assessment
Genetic assessment
Further metabolic assessments
Further immunocompromised assessments
Solanine Sensitivity Syndrome ( SSS ) \\ Nightshade Intolerance / Allergy \\ Solanine Toxicity Disorder ( STD -- you can see why they haven't got a set name for it, yet! To note, that other one is now STI -- I for infection )
Feral Child -- mild ( they don't add the word Syndrome )
Pseudo-Orphan Child Syndrome ( Not Abandoned / Orphaned Child Syndrome )


__ Why I mention these:
I hear a heavy lean on beliefs about these things. Everything from " it's all demonic assault and curses " __ or distinguished: " mental, physical, spiritual -- all can be healed through the power of prayer, if *only* with undoubting faith through prayer and casting out in Jesus/Yahoshua' name " __ to " sometimes / oftentimes it's a *real* problem you simply have to live with. "


The LORD healed me in an instant from double pinkeye. _ My brother and I, *in agreement* in desperate *need* to eat together without contention ([for fellowship]), were able to simply eat a meal, containing things we *knew* would hurt us, and the instant he had the idea and prayed it wouldn't I *knew* in the spirit, it would not -- and it did not! _ The LORD, for the sake of allowing us to honor His High Sabbaths (New Moons, Passover), *when we pray* that the wine (which I am fatally intolerant to!) will be as "medicine to us and do us no harm" then causes us to *feel/perceive* the same covering / buffering sensation as the meal occasion, and experience no alcohol induced side effects nor immunocompromised responses, but medicine ( I'm serious -- but it *only* works when *pray for it* in our understanding, undoubting confirmation, for to *Honor YAH*, without drunkenness! ).

My brother was told, with the feeling/perception of spiritual dread, that if I ate Goji Berries, I would "die." I simply searched up side effects, and found out they are from the Nightshade family, and contain Solanine. Looking into my diet, I found seemingly everything I was eating, especially at that time, to contain Nightshades. I had previously suffered bowl blockage, inexplicably, when, in a bought of financial difficulty, we were eating only potatoes (almost nothing else). I removed Nightshades from my diet, and I was healed. I was 25 and needed a cane to walk, was hunched over perpetually, suffered horrific lower back pain, obesity and weight loss issues, migraines, severe water retention, severe crippling menstrual cycles, Charlie Horses, and more. I can now stand upright, walk without being home-ridden, regular (I used to skip months) and notably lighter menstrual cycles, and all these things have healed gradually to completely. This has been an ongoing miracle for me, and I would say for my brother, as well. __ To note, the financial, emotional, social, and psychological stress of working so hard to eat a (pretty much paleo) diet, wares on us, and we oftentimes give in to eating things for comfort, sanity, expense, grief over constant arguing.

[clipped to top]

I anger people so bad they threaten my life or bodily harm, and I need have little to do with them over a period of time, or I have a relationship or developing relationship with them.

I can't eat out or with others, lest my dietary restrictions offend.

I have panic attacks, even over things I learned in scripture and how I am falling short.

Even after I come to a conclusion and resolution, the matter wears on me (and physical reminders the more so).

I find myself repenting repeatedly for old sins, and wanting or trying to make up for them, especially if items remind me. And I wonder if there is some lesson I didn't learn or I am or will as yet fail to do better.

I try, and I see ABBA working in my life, I improve, but I struggle when others can't seem to see it.

I am told, "you're not / I don't believe you're / you can't be / hearing God [on this / that matter]" , or, "God isn't like that! God doesn't want that for you!"

I am exhausted by having the faith for miracles, reading scripture often, and even daily +, fasting from food and water for days, praying constantly, researching Christian Cures and prayers, miracles, confirmations, and experiences, and being left wondering where I am lacking.

Can I be an alcoholic, live on cake, fornicate, fantasize about murdering people for the pleasure of it, esteem myself superior, blaspheme to my hearts content, steal, deny charity, or repeat old sins perpetually, or even indefinitely, NO.

But I have grown up with learning disabilities, dietary restrictions, medical and other issues, and little treatment. The bible and even New Testament shows people *not* being healed and cleansed of *everything*. Can God heal a stab wound? Yes. Many true, Saved believers died from them. Most Yokefolk, when faced with sickness, fire, lions, have died! Is it all faithlessness? Job lived, but his children and servants did not, yet, should we assume none of them were True Followers? Paul murdered, slaughtered the faithful, and they did not escape his hand; yet, he was forgiven, and he, afterwards, was not killed for those crimes, by the families of those loved ones, but allowed to endure a new being.

I have blasphemous, intrusive thoughts run through my mind. I disown them, cast them, and whatever devils out, but I am still bothered.

I struggle to communicate with others without causing offense, and Paul did, too.

I can eat poison without harm, at all, but I still suffer consequences if I try to live on the foods I grew up with?

I was abused, neglected, molested, and denied medical and other care at the risk of my own life, and I am still learning how to interact with other human beings; but I remain socially awkard andw offensive, and easily used and hurt.



Legal Disclaimer: As the individual suffering these conditions, I authorize my legal right to disclose this information as I see fit.
May the Lord's peace wash over us.

My brother. You are not possessed. There are a few people who have all these qualities you experience . Autism along with all the others. They will continue to be a struggle for you, God's purpose is both you working with others, and others working with you.
See how the rain let up .
Your life is a sacrifice. Read the Book of Jonah. His relationship was with God
 
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How do I contact Talk Jesus via email ? I have ran across several articles I would like permission to download , copy and print out . Perhaps other articles to print out , download, copy and print out . I am not on here much so send the information or email address /telephone number to : [email protected] Thank you Sincerely Jack
 

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