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to all married christian men

Therefore now there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus
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elaine said:
would you want your wife to confess to you that she had been unfaithful, or would you rather not know. She has repented to the Lord and has asked for forgiveness. Her heart is ladened with her indiscretion. She loves you and knows she would never do it again because of all the inner turmoil it has caused her and its a sin against God. Please answer honestly and give your reasons.If you want to know my pain and anguish please read infidelity thread. I have condemned myself a thousand times, so please try and refrain from casting any stones. thanks.
Dear Elaine: I read your thread on fidelity and will offer what my wife and I, married 19 1/2 years, discussed in our devotions even though we never had an affair with anyone else;

1. If confessed that she was unfaithful and repents to the Lord
2. The turmoil that she endured inside
3. She sought spiritual counsel from an authorized pastor or priest
4. Takes me in a solitude place and confesses to me of her affair

It is going to stir up hurt, burn inside, anger me, fits of jealously, my thoughts all over the place, and it should..I may not trust her, it may take a long time to heal inside me, but I know that the 4 steps my wife has taken shows me she truly repents for what she did and by confessing to me shows that she truly loves me..I take this to the Lord and yes, I will forgive her and stay with her. I would much rather she told me because I also love her and do not want the bondage to remain inside her even though she repented to God and was forgiven.

6. Should she decide not to take me to a solitude place and confess or,
7. Somehow, someway, by chance, or by God and most likely God, I found out later, or years later..I feel this voids 1, 2, and 3 and start to question her trust in God's forgiveness, and her trust in me being a Godly man to forgive.

You have sought God, counsel, and love from your brothers and sisters here at Talk Jesus, Elaine, please do not rely on your own understanding but continue to seek God's will and trust Him.
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You need to confess it to your partner also, I tried to do what you did for many years, thinking it would be ok, well it just doesn't work, it's not just a sin against God it's also against your mate.

My life was never at real peace until I told my mate, yes it was very painfull, and we almost got a divorce, but by the grace of God we worked things out, and if divorce would have been the outcome then I would just have to trust the Lord with that. It has taken many years to heal but I'm a better man for it and by God's grace have not gone back.

I'll pray for you, you have a tough road ahead, if you keep it to yourself it will eat at you till you go to the grave.

Lord Jesus, give this child the strength and love to do what is right, may your grace pour out on her life, in Jesus name we ask, amen.:love:
Hi Elaine, our Lord Jesus Christ forgave a woman who lived an adultery life and told her to leave her life of sin (John 8:1-11). He also said in Matthew 6:14, for if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. In Matthew 19, he talks about marriage and divorce. Matthew 19:6 says, therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. I recommend that before your confess to your husband, you pray and seek the Lord's guidance so that the Holy Spirit can guide you through. There is nothing impossible to God. He has to soften your husband's heart to enable him to accept your confession. If you do it using your own strength, it is not going to be easy. Hence, seek God and he will lead you so that at the end of all this, his will is done and he is glorified.
I also think the one who acted in infidelity should tell their mate.They have repented and made their peace with the Lord,now they can completly remove the burden and guilt.Sin is sin, there is no big sin or little sin.We all have sinned.You've done your part leave the rest to the Lord.
My wife was unfaithful .It is very hard to forgive .Even harder to forget .But My LORD for give me of many sins .Can I not for give her .Yes I think you have no choice but to tell and ask for HIS mercy and repent and never betray him again .Then you should go to the elders of the church ,be anointed with oil and prayed to have your body healed .as you will bring sickness to it .My wife already has a problem .That is one sin that brings sickness to the flesh .Sometimes it takes many years .But it surly will show up .Better to get the healing right away .Then it does not show up .You know in james .if you have comitted a sin ,you will be forgiven .GODS word is very simple ,if we are wise to obey it quickly .and save ourselves troubles
I want to say .Sure the LORD will forgive us if we sin .But the body many times pays a price .I have watched this all my life .You see ?The LORD has proided ways for us not to suffer for sins ?Because HE deals with the spirit 1st .We must deal with the flesh ?So HE even made a way or ways to get our bodys healed ,There are some sins ,even if the LORD forgives you .Your body will reap ,what you have sown . But we can be as in james ,even before it takes place in our body .Many times the LORD ,I think in HIS grace ,it waits til we are older before we suffer for some things .But if we do as in james .We get healed ,before we get sick .JAMES 5:15