WhollyBeloved
Member
- Joined
- May 18, 2008
- Messages
- 5
The Haunting
(2003)
I lie awake
Eyes open, in bed
Wondering what is so wrong in my head.
Nothing makes sense,
I'm going insane.
I can't figure what's wrong with my brain.
I see you sometimes,
You're not really there.
I hear your voice and your steps on the stair.
Even though it's six months you've been gone from my site,
I can't erase the memory of even one night.
The rage,
The pain,
The blood everywhere.
Sometimes I feel your breath caressing my hair.
The stain of the sin that runs through my heart,
The fear,
And the guilt,
That will never depart.
Just like a ghost your memory resides,
Bringing hate to my heart,
Tears to my eyes.
"It wasn't your fault."
I heard them all say,
As they said, "I'm sorry." and promised to pray.
But they weren't really sorry,
And neither were you.
So forever you'll haunt me and this you will do:
I'll cringe at the touch of those I once trusted,
Even hugs from family will make me disgusted.
I'll go deeper and deeper,
More color I'll see
Till I've enough to drown all memory of you and of me.
And no more will you torment my memory.
5 years ago I was sexually abused and this is how it made me feel. Guilty and scared and angry and desperate. I think the reason why I have wanted to share this poem with someone so much recently is because there is someone who needs to see it. Someone who needs to know that they're not alone.
God is still with you.
I tried everything to end the pain I was going through, but the ONLY thing that made anything any better was God. He gave me hope, and freedom from my guilt and my pain. And He still does, because sometimes it still hurts. But I'm not captive to it anymore. I belong to God the Father and when He looks at me He sees a pure and spotless Bride of Christ! And nobody can take that away from me. And you know what? Nobody can take that away from you either.
If you ever want prayer or encouragement or just someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me on here (Im on almost everyday) or e-mail me. God Bless
(2003)
I lie awake
Eyes open, in bed
Wondering what is so wrong in my head.
Nothing makes sense,
I'm going insane.
I can't figure what's wrong with my brain.
I see you sometimes,
You're not really there.
I hear your voice and your steps on the stair.
Even though it's six months you've been gone from my site,
I can't erase the memory of even one night.
The rage,
The pain,
The blood everywhere.
Sometimes I feel your breath caressing my hair.
The stain of the sin that runs through my heart,
The fear,
And the guilt,
That will never depart.
Just like a ghost your memory resides,
Bringing hate to my heart,
Tears to my eyes.
"It wasn't your fault."
I heard them all say,
As they said, "I'm sorry." and promised to pray.
But they weren't really sorry,
And neither were you.
So forever you'll haunt me and this you will do:
I'll cringe at the touch of those I once trusted,
Even hugs from family will make me disgusted.
I'll go deeper and deeper,
More color I'll see
Till I've enough to drown all memory of you and of me.
And no more will you torment my memory.
5 years ago I was sexually abused and this is how it made me feel. Guilty and scared and angry and desperate. I think the reason why I have wanted to share this poem with someone so much recently is because there is someone who needs to see it. Someone who needs to know that they're not alone.
God is still with you.
I tried everything to end the pain I was going through, but the ONLY thing that made anything any better was God. He gave me hope, and freedom from my guilt and my pain. And He still does, because sometimes it still hurts. But I'm not captive to it anymore. I belong to God the Father and when He looks at me He sees a pure and spotless Bride of Christ! And nobody can take that away from me. And you know what? Nobody can take that away from you either.
If you ever want prayer or encouragement or just someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me on here (Im on almost everyday) or e-mail me. God Bless
