Join Us Today!

Join our non-denominational community with 10,000+ members and more than 50,000 monthly visitors today. Engage in bible discussions, studies, prayer support and friendly fellowship.

Suicide and depression... please help

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by TimothyHero, May 14, 2016.

  1. #1 TimothyHero, May 14, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2016
    Hello. I am a 23-year-old father dealing with depression and suicide. I put together an article to sum everything up. I am running out of answers and patience. Any help or blessings.
  2. I hadn't noticed your multiple posts of this same thing across the forum when I answered you the first time. Are you asking God for help or are you asking people?
  3. I'm asking God and His people. We are in desperate need. Usually don't ask for help. Usually too stubborn. But this is important to our family.
    Sent from an iPhone
  4. 1 Cor 6:19-20 Timothyhero,I just first wanted you to see something from our Lord about looking to take control of your own life. Having self control is his fruit!( Gal 5:22-23) There are so many who are in the very same place as you are bro,not enough money,no real direction in how to even manage where one is now,and of course my favorite,why me!

    At almost 22 coming back from two tours in Vietnam,having witnessed more horror,and death then most will ever have to deal with in a life time,I stood above a large bridge,overlooking the freeway,I was all set to jump to my death,when suddenly I felt someone push me away!! This scripture I gave you was given to me by an angel of the Lord. i was not a believer at that time brother,but all the depression and thoughts of taking my own life suddenly left me.It was only days after this,that i gave my heart to the Lord for good!

    This is not to say that all of my problems went away,but I had no more fear of life,of people,or of my situation. I sat in church, and thought the pastor, who had no idea who I was, had been given words by Jesus himself just for me that day. Not to bore you to tears with its length,i will just hit some highlights for you.He said, " ( Psalms 119:169-176) and Psalms 34:17-18 Fro brother if i would have taken my own life back then,how then could the lord have ever used me to speak to you now? Hence the hope we all have my good brother!!( Rom 15:13)

    If you are not presently a believer,as i was not,then this message will really manifest some purpose to you, even as it did me,and if you are a believer,then this message will confirm something others have spoken to you,that come very close to this message.Life is not fair brother,life was never meant to ever be fair,but what life is,can be termed as enduring.( Heb 10:36)

    If we do not endure no matter what,then we will never find out what the will of God is truly for our life,as well as for others. This step many consider taking, has no repentance to it,there are no do overs,and there can be no forgiveness for it.( Psalm 115:17-18 and Isaiah 38:18-20!!) There are people brother than only you can help! if you are not here to help them,they will also perish!

    People think by taking there own life,it only affects them,and they could not be more wrong! The confirmation to this, you can see for yourself! What is true brother,is the purpose we are here is to overcome! EVERYDAY and in every way! All God asks of you, is that you perform the only work he requires of you. To believe!!( John 6:28-29)

    And if you will trust in the Lord, and take him at his word no matter your feeling or mindset,then he will grant to you, the very same he has done unto me, your servant!!( Proverbs 3:3-6)" This gave me hope brother!! God's hope,not my own hope! An everlasting completion of a state of both mind and body, I could in no way have without our Jesus.May this both bless you,and comfort your mindset in believing forever,never doubting!! Your brother in Christ mark
    LordKnows likes this.
  5. Mark, thank you for your kind words and thank you for taking the time to write all that. I will be reviewing and reading the scriptures you sent me. My family and I just don't feel at peace being away from our home.
    Sent from an iPhone
    Brighthouse likes this.
  6. HI, I don't know exactly what you situation is and I don't like making a backseat diagnosis. I do have considerable professional counseling education and experience, however. My advice is for you to seek out a qualified therapist. Just about every city has fully qualified Christian therapists available, if that is what you want. Faith is definably part of the healing process, but you may also need medications and additional counseling as well.
  7. You still have idols you're putting your energy into, think√ what could be idols? There common things we all use to commutate with the outside world.
    Sent from a mobile device
  8. Greetings,

    how are you doing now?

    Bless you ....><>
    (Study of Romans 6:1-7:25)

    " But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were yet sinners." +ROMANS 5:8+
    One of the blessings that has come from personal experience backsliding, is the revelation that we don't have to allow sin to sideline us in our walk with God in Christ. While there remains sin in our lives, we will continue to have that sin as an obstacle compromising our ability to grow spiritually, discern properly, and achieve the fulfillment of God's will in our lives. However, that doesn't mean we have lost the grace given us, or that we are any less worthy than when we were called to grace in the first place. Though it is an obstacle, that does not mean we are voided from the power of the blood of Jesus; it doesn't mean we should give up and stop seeking God.
    However, I must clarify: this is not to be interpreted as a license or freedom to sin; sin is sin, and sin is just plain wrong. God is clear on this. I do not condone, promote or endorse sin in any form, but offer illumination to the principle that once a sin is recognized, confessed, and the heart turned against it; then it falls under the blood, which forever removed both the penalty and stain of sin. If one will note what is says in HEBREWS 5: 11- 6: 3, the idea is not to ignore or forget the critical foundation of Christ; but to move forward building off of it. We can't keep looking at those committing sin as sinners, but as saved; and if they are saved we must measure them by the blood of Jesus not by the perfection or imperfection of their reflection. At some point we must grasp that the penalty is paid for, the stain is removed, and the power is gone; and when we keep presenting the idea that the shell and sin matter so much, we crucify our Lord to the cross repeatedly.

    " Under the old covenant, the priest stands before the altar day after day, offering sacrifices that can never take away sins. But our High Priest (Christ Jesus,) offered himself as one sacrifice for sins, GOOD FOR ALL TIME. Then he sat down at the place of highest honor at God's right hand.... then He adds,' I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.' Now when sins have been forgiven, there is no more need to offer any more sacrifices."
    + HEBREWS 10: 11&12, 17&18 +
    For a long time, I struggled in a losing battle with things like cigarettes, drugs, anger, lust, deception and the like. I felt terrible, unworthy, and incredibly ashamed; so much that I allowed these things to become a wedge that created a rift between myself and our heavenly Father...allowing these things to dictate my reaction. It is not to say that these things aren't contrary to the Word and will of God, because they are definitely things that without Jesus' blood, would be an impassible obstacle. Yet guilt and shame became a great wall separating me from the love of God in Christ Jesus; as I stumbled to grasp a simple principle.
    I believed myself to be too dirty, too sinful, too erratic to be worthy of fellowship; too sinful to even think about praying to a holy God; too wrong to deserve fellowship within the body. Scripture tells us we cannot serve two masters, and since I couldn't seem to break the cycle and shatter the chains; it seemed that the only feasible option was to turn away from God in failure. One missed service became two, then three; eventually snowballing to the point I couldn't recall the last time I'd prayed, studied, or even went to church.
    In ROMANS 7:14-25, Paul tells of his continued and often repeated struggle with sin. Things he wanted to do he couldn't quite manage to do; things he desperately wanted to avoid doing, he found himself returning to time after time. We do well to note where Paul was at spiritually when he wrote this letter to the Romans. He wasn't a child, and he wasn't a new or untested believer; much to the contrary he was nearing the end of his years and at the peak of his spiritual maturity...yet he STILL struggled with sin and failure. This was the same Paul who authored the majority of our new testament; the same who had been a zealous and obedient Pharisee according to law over 30 years; the same who was a huge reason the word of God and message of Christ were so widely spread during his time. Yet he still struggled; still sinned. Before we condemn ourselves or others for shortcoming, let us keep this in perspective; remembering that being one in Christ doesn't mean we are perfect, but that we are continually being perfected.

    " The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict. " +GAL. 5:17+
    In this passage Paul illustrated a couple basic foundational concepts. First, as long as we live life in the flesh, we will always have to battle the nature of the flesh, and sin; regardless where we are in our relationship with God. We will never be " immune," to the temptation to sin; the best we can do is be properly equipped so we can resist and defend against the sin that threatens to take hold. We are told in 2 CORINTHIANS 8:12 that so long as our hearts are willing, we are accepted according to what we have; rather than condemned for the shortfalls in our walks. True this may primarily be a tithing/giving/stewardship principle, but the concept still applies.
    God knows where each of us is at spiritually, and He knew we would be exactly where we are, and what sins we'd still be struggling with when He chose to call us to grace and eternal life in the first place. As long as our hearts are heavy with conviction at the sin besetting us, Father accepts us even in our imperfections; the actions are never as important as the state and intention of the heart in these matters.
    The second key concept Paul expounds upon is what I like to call, "The walk it off,". As a child sometimes we find ourselves getting a bruise or scrape, falling off a bike or otherwise getting a minor injury while playing. Often, a father will tell the child, " It's ok...just get up and walk it off. You will be fine." The child often pouts and frowns for a moment, then obliviously returns to whatever caused the injury to begin with! Just so, in spite of the continuing sin and the struggle, Paul forged on ahead; refusing to allow sin, guilt or shame to sideline him or dictate his course. He could have let self-condemnation rule him, he could have let feelings of shame and inadequacy obstruct his walk with God, and compromise his faith; but he didn't.

    “Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others you will be forgiven.” +LUKE 6:37+
    Scripture tells us that when we forgive, Father is faithful and forgives us as well; but if we do not forgive we prevent ourselves from receiving the grace and forgiveness of God. This is why self-condemnation is such a favored tactic the enemy uses as a weapon against us. If we refuse to forgive ourselves, we have become the obstacle between ourselves and God's grace. When we judge and condemn ourselves for what is covered by the blood of Jesus, we refuse the forgiveness available to us because we do not forgive ourselves.
    In 1 JOHN we are shown that the conviction and guilt we feel when sinning are actually proof that we are sincere in our relationship with God; because we feel bad about the things we know are wrong in our lives. However, it also illustrates how the power of God and value of Jesus blood are far greater than any condemnation our hearts can bring down upon us. If we are heavy-laden with conviction it should encourage us; for Good disciplines those whom He loves, does He not?
    ROMANS 3:9-20 Illustrate how we all equally are/were living in sin, yet we fall prey to the deception that our imperfections are somehow worse; that they make us void from the gift of grace and forgiveness we have in Christ. If this were actually true there would not be a single person allowed in church at all, much less heaven. Thanks to Christ, it is no longer the sin that is our biggest obstacle because the blood of Jesus eradicated that power sin had along with the penalty for it. No, the critical item is the state and sincerity of our hearts.

    " You hypocrites! Isaiah was prophesying about you when he said, ' These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far away. Their worship is a farce, for they replace God's commands with their own man made teachings." +MATTHEW 15:7-9+
    The song, "Stained Glass Masquerade," makes a critical illustration that reflects the general state of the body in regards to how we present ourselves. Years of traditionalism, religiousness, and scriptural misinterpretation have nurtured an environment that condones/perpetuates a cycle of whitewash, judgment, and condemnation within the body. We have retreated to the “Pharisaic,” state that Jesus spent much of His time rebuking the spiritual leaders for.
    Too many believers have grown more concerned with how they appear to others than how authentic and sincere the heart is. We prefer to reflect a victorious, abundant, sinless life; rather than be honest and open about the temptations and sins besetting us. We must realize that victory isn't measured by our perfect obedience, but by our faith in Christ. We must not simply profess the truth that we are saved by grace through faith, and not by the works; but stop painting a shiny exterior in fear of being exposed.
    On the one hand there is a struggling believer who wears his sin on his sleeve; all can see his failings, inconsistencies and struggles. What does he find in church? A lot of " cold shoulders," dirty looks, judgmental glances, and bitter tones. He is lucky to get the complimentary " I'll pray for you," then he is shunned, ignored, pushed away and abandoned; sometimes forgotten. Meanwhile he is desperately crying out for help; confused, scared to death, and suffering while we cast judgment rather than reflect love and grace. Perhaps he spends his nights curled up in a ball, pouring out endless tears because he is too unworthy, too broken, too ashamed, too guilty too hopeless to lift his head in prayer, to seek God, or ask for help. Perhaps he begs God nightly to send someone, and nobody comes. Shame on us for casually standing by, while our brother slowly falls away and perishes in the wilderness. NOT shame on him for being imperfect.
    On the other hand, we have a longtime member of a congregation, perhaps even a spiritual leader, deacon, elder or ministry aide. He prays and studies daily, he tithes consistently, he never misses a service, and outwardly is the shining example of Christian living/discipleship. However, behind that appearance may reside a bitter, hateful, condemning attitude; perhaps he drinks nightly, abusing his wife and children behind closed doors; perhaps he gambles the kids' college fund away in secret; perhaps he is having an affair. Yet nobody knows, and why is that?
    It's because he fears the humiliation, loss of status and respect, the questions about the legitimacy of his faith; should he be honest. So he puts on his facade of whitewash, paints on a smile that is often only skin deep, and has the nerve to present himself as being free from all sin, temptation, and struggle; completely victorious and incomparably righteous. At church he gets praise, adoration, and comfort from others for his sincere faith and dedication; though at this point the whitewash is so thick nobody realizes the truth. Meanwhile, the struggling sinner is ignored, judged, shunned, pushed out, and left to die; because we feel his faith is a sham and that he is likely receiving what he deserves, based on what seems to be apparent. Never mind that he is actually being sincere and honest about where he is at.
    For far too long we have equivocated spiritual sincerity with an image of ONLY success and victory; seeing weakness, sin and struggle as signs of a believer's insincerity in Christ. Paul stated that he gloried in his weakness and failings; yet many of us whether out of fear, pride, ill motive or otherwise; struggle to admit, or show weakness. Paul knew that his shortcomings opened the door for God to be glorified, for it was apparent since Paul was unable as a man to achieve perfection; that the power in him was of God rather than man. He considered weakness to be a great strength as it allowed God to do what only God could do in his life.
    Well it's far past time we put an end to the stained glass masquerade. It's ok to be imperfect, it's ok to make mistakes, it's ok to have moments of weakness and struggle to resist sin; for God called us while we were yet in sin, not when we attained righteousness by human means. What is definitely NOT ok is whitewashing over our stains so much that sincere believers in struggle feel as though their imperfections make them any less worthy of the grace we received. It's NOT ok to let our brothers and sisters in Christ feel driven away by guilt, shame and inadequacy at their failings; while we sit content in our "superior," walk with God. It’s NOT ok to contribute to an environment where believers feel unwelcome simply because they don't meet the status quo, or look the same as those who seem to be victorious. Whether I am the sinner who struggles with sin, prone to falling away from God due to guilt, shame, sin, and struggle; or the believer rejecting that sinner, I say, "In spite of sin, let him in."
    God doesn't need us to be perfect; He needs us to trust that He loves us dearly regardless of our shortcomings. We need to believe that He would rather have us seeking Him and His kingdom in spite of our sins, than have us alone, wounded, full of sorrow and suffering in our self-made prison. Father has counted every tear of each backslider, heard every anguished cry, as we wrestle with sins we don't want to do; and yet He still seeks to restore and bring the fallen back into fellowship with Him.
    So let us not allow guilt, shame, struggle or sin in others' lives prevent us from letting God into their lives. In spite of sin...let him in. We cannot simply sit back and allow the enemy to steal sheep, kill the souls, and destroy their faith as well as the unity and health of the body; but in essence we have basically stood aside and surrendered both ground and believers to the enemy. Shame on us. We cannot treat those who struggle as less worthy, less loved, less welcome, less genuine or any different than believers who appear to be “almost perfect, " in their faith.
    Long has there been a pervasive sense that we are to leave backsliders to fend for themselves, but this is not just disobedient to the word and will of God; its equal to murder in Father's eyes. JAMES 4:17 tells us that it is sin to know what we ought to do and not do it; so when we neglect those who struggle and fall away, we are contributing to their spiritual death no less than the enemy himself. We are told by Christ that it is murder in God's eyes to hold hatred for another; yet is it not hateful to refuse grace and love to ones in such great need, choosing instead to condemn them?
    In the end, we ARE the body of Christ; we are the hands, feet, eyes, ears, and heart of Jesus, so when we feel it's up to God to seek and restore the fallen, let us be conscious of the fact we are the messengers He needs to use in order to accomplish what needs done. Let us set aside the whitewash, let us set aside condemnation of self and of others; let us not judge the shell but value the soul as Jesus did when he died for us ALL...including the backslider. Let us no longer put obstacles in believers' paths when they struggle, but let us stand by them in the battle and swing the sword when they are too broken and hurt to defend themselves. Let us share their burdens; In spite of sin...let him in.

    Brother i struggled in a lifelong battle with depression/mental illness. I stood on the cusp of suicide more than once. Finally it was revealed to me: While i professed to have given my life to Jesus, there I was considering TAKING MY OWN LIFE. You see, I had retaken the reins on my life, though i had already committed that Lordship to Jesus. In simply realizing that "my," life was no longer "mine," to throw away;I gained the perspective that I had no right to take what is rightfully Christ's-freely given. It then behooved me to simply endure the chains and sufferings if it so be God's will, because it was a life lived for Jesus' purposes,...not my own. It is an easier weight when we see these things from a divine view. Then the mountains sure do look pretty small! God Bless Brother!
    Br. Bear and JohnP like this.

Share This Page

Users Who Have Read This Thread (Total: 0)