Hi, I'm a new member to this forum. My name is Simon. I'm 17 years old. I'm fron New Zealand. And I have a lot of problems. I guess to start with was when my younger sister Katrina died. My mother loved her, a lot. I mean she didn't stop crying for a year, but I didn't blame her. My aunty Caroline was a christian and it amazed me how nice and comforting she is. Her daughter had told us that my sister has gone to heaven because she had saved her before her death. And so my mother tried to convince the whole family to do the same, but it didn't work out. That was on my fault because I just don't like church. It just doesn't work for me. It makes me sick, and unhappy, and I don't know it just isn't right. And so I asked my mother that I don't go. And that caused the whole family to stop. And I felt that I betrayed Him because this isn't the first time that I have been saved by the Lord. I just tend to stop following him and I don't like it. And now I feel constant stress, anger, anxiety and empty inside. I have sinned a lot and I'm scared of death. Very scared. And I feel that turning to the Lord isn't working, because I've been there and done that, and it never works. Can someone help me?