• Hi Guest!

    Please share Talk Jesus community on every platform you have to give conservatives an outlet and safe community to be apart of.

    Support This Community

    Thank You

  • Welcome to Talk Jesus

    A true bible based, Jesus centered online community. Join over 11,000 members today

    Register Log In


I dont think I ever really have lived my life entirely for Christ since I became a Christian. I consider myself born again because I feel the holy spirit within me but perhaps i shouldnt consider this to be. Iam stuck between trying to please the world and God and its just not working. Then people say "well its time to choose and start living your life entirely for God, etc" but I am stuck to do this. What about my friends who are all non christians and all the people who know me, i dont feel I can drop them and make new ones but I hide away from talking about jesus with them. Quite often I feel ashamed of Jesus, I know this is a problem for a lot of people and i realise it says in the bible not to be ashamed.
One thing I havent swung away from though is having Sex before I am married. Obviously once you have sex thats it, no going back but I am feeling the pressure now at 20 and feel like iam still a boy and not a man. (The worlds attitude)
I want to know how others have coped with this, i dont want to buckle and know it would be a mistake to throw it away God help me....I am feeling awful about all this this morning and felt i needed to get it off my chest somehow.
My life at the moment is a mixture or laziness and shame and i feel drained.
I know I need to meet with other Christians, when I get there Iam sure things will change but its the getting there which is hard.
Sorry to all if this is one big complaint but its something I need to say and Iam not going to be like this forever, i will sort myself out eventually, or more to the point God will sort me out. Afterall I do trust God, I feel I have acheived that at least but perhaps its not quite 100% trust. Anyway thanks for reading this if you have.
Staff Member
Greetings brother. First I'd like to say that GOD comes first. You must never deny Christ whatsoever. You cannot please GOD and the world. You either do one or the other.

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me

Matthew 10:33
But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

I'm not sure how you wake up or sleep and whatever you do in your spiritual walk with Christ but here is a simple guideline that you can follow rather easily if you love GOD to do so.

1. Prayer day and night. Anytime. Anywhere. Be sincere not paganistic

2. Read Scripture. Keep a copy in your car, at work, at home.

3. Try to memorize Scripture, one verse at a time. Something that you feel may help you.

4. Attend a bible based Church. Spend as much time there as you can including service/sermons, bible studies, and any other special activity the church has setup.

5. Be around godly people. On Talk Jesus you will find much help but this is online. In person its obviously different. Pray for your friends but surround yourself around godly people instead. I lost all ungodly friends for a good cause.

2 Peter 3:11
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives

1 Corinthians 5:11
But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
You should never try to please the world, trying to please the world will only drag you down. You should never be ashamed of Jesus,Jesus made it so you could live in Heaven with Him. Maybe you should talk to your friends about Jesus, but if they don't listen or think your crazy then you should prabably move on and make new friends. I had this friend who used to be soooooo nice to me, but now out of nowhere they are being very rhude and making fun of my soccer skills(which are not that great.) But the point is, is that sometimes you have to let go of old friends,and make new friends because its whats best for you. Pray and ask God what you should do, He will tell you.
Dear brother in Christ, I don't doubt your struggles at this point in your life. But there is one thing you must know...everything you do will be a choice. Good or bad, God is a rewarder of those that seek him. I can remember when I got saved I had the same issues, He would continue to remind me what He has done for me. Setting me free, giving me a new life and heaven bound. There is always a price to pay when we choose the way of the flesh. Your Spirit is sick with in you, and the longer you go with out Him the harder it is to return. This christian walk is not easy, I admit, but... there is a joy in the journey! If your church believes in the gifts of the Spirit, begin to ask the Lord about being baptisted by His Spirit. The infilling of His power, so that you may be able to endure and overcome these obstacles. For you see it's the enemies job to ROB, KILL, STEAL, & DESTROY. And when he can get you to look at your circumstances instead of looking to Christ he has won. But remember the Lord has given us the same power that raised Christ for the dead. That's ressurection power brother! A word of encouragment; get into some good worship music, something that would minister to your Spirit, set your face like flint to His face. This must be a daily thing, this is why many are falling away. Our walks must remain consistant with Him, our minds must be renewed by the word. You will know you are doing the right thing if you should sense a harder struggle, the enemy knows that you are gaining victory!
Take care, Ledbygrace
Thanks for reading my post and replying, appreciate the advice from you all. But what about sex before marriage, have all the people who post on this forum refrained. I mean what % of Christians actually do, someone please tell me that its really important because iam starting to wonder....
Mr Squash, To me sex before marriage is wrong and yes I did refrain, and we've been married 25 years now. 1 Corinthians 7 is a good place to start, verses 8 and 9 state

"8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

My interpretation of this is to refrain from sex before marriage.
Mr Squash said:
Thanks for reading my post and replying, appreciate the advice from you all. But what about sex before marriage, have all the people who post on this forum refrained. I mean what % of Christians actually do, someone please tell me that its really important because iam starting to wonder....

Mr Squash . Yes we have refrained in open forum about your sex issues , however we do not minimize their problem in your life . If you want to talk and find advice with this , then P.M. me and we will try to help you . But we will not have any over the top sex talk in open forum . HEAVENSOUND is 13 years old and gave you good advice . Serve God with all your heart or do not . Thats the choices . If your looking for open sex talk , your luck has run out . We have very young members here and one of them answered your question best . Move on and serve God . Mike
okay then, im sorry perhaps this was the wrong place to post about this issue, i was not intending to talk about the details of sex and offend anyone. My luck has run out, what do you mean, i was not attempting to glorify any fantasies i was just wanting to express an issue and find others to identify with. Apologies once again
If you read the three responses from Chad , HEAVENSOUND , and Ledbygrace , you would have your answer . Thats what I mean by your luck has run out . And also Sunshine was very blunt to your question . The answer is there . Mike
Think it this way ...you belong to Christ not to the world...you are in the world but not of it....you have to choose between being a people pleaser and a God pleaser, cuz one who is not on God's side is on the devil's side.
Anyway I am Naomi,[16 yrs] from India and I am looking forward to befriend great guys like you.Holy Spirit is there with you ...He'll never leave you.Remember that He'll never leave you nor forsake you.Never feel ashamed of Jesus ,the darling of heaven who died for you and me...never deny Him
Look and you don't have to be weighed down by pressure about sex.Only sex does'nt make you a man.So what if your non-Christian friends have had sex before marriage?Just tell them that you are a man in the ways of God and not in the ways of the world.
I also go thru same rejection at school.But would'nt it be gr8888 when our Lord will oneday tell us 'Well done faithful servant!' It would be better than any kinda popularity you achieve on this Earth
Yours in Christ,
Commit yourself to the LORD and ask for Him to help you seperate yourself from the world. I know that i had to do this daily until my faith was built up enough that I was able to continue on unfazed by the devil's ramblings...there is no condemnation in Christ so He won't give yo a hard time about having a hard time trying to serve Him....thats what grace is all about....His divine empowerment to do what He asks you to do....
Very Good

:thumbs_up You did an awesome job with finding those scriptures and making it plain, thank you.
I believe that you have become weary in your well doing and you are starting to question your relationship with God in many ways. Your asking yourself is all the sacrfices you have had to make to maintain your salvation worth the cost you have had to pay. Have you counted up the cost?Well that is a question only you can answer for yourself. I also believe the confusion comes from straddling the fence both mentally and spirtually maybe your not participating in the acts of sin but your contemplating it in your mind and this is considered premeditated sin not weakness. While reading your post I noticed that you would tell of the things that you are struggling with and then you would immediately repsond with "I Know" so that tells me that you are a leader who has become frustrated with doing whats right because you have focused your eyes and mind on the things of this world and this is whats causing you so much confusion. Choose ye this day whom ye will serve will it be God or man. I think you should go back to the basics remind yourself of why you excepted Christ as your personal savior from the start. There is always a higher level that we can achieve in our walk with God if we will seek Him with everything within us. It is my prayer that you will find peace and encouragement for your soul. Don't allow the deception of this world lure you back into the hands of the enemy. Stand firm on your faith in God He loves you more than you will ever know. Hang in there this will pass just remember only what you do for Christ will last!
Be Blessed

j-freak153 said:
Commit yourself to the LORD and ask for Him to help you seperate yourself from the world. I know that i had to do this daily until my faith was built up enough that I was able to continue on unfazed by the devil's ramblings...there is no condemnation in Christ so He won't give yo a hard time about having a hard time trying to serve Him....thats what grace is all about....His divine empowerment to do what He asks you to do....

But what if it is so hard that you can not seperate yourself from the world?
I know it can be easy at times but what about the hard times? Please tell me.
about the hole sex thing dont feel presherd by it that is a worldly thing and some thing that god has given us to share with the person that we marry and if we do it before we are just giving into the world and to our emotions or lust when you feel pressherd by it think of a verse you can say to help you out of the sutation
Dude, you need to abandon your buddies! Seriously!
Get with Christians fast!! When one is truly saved, the Holy Spirit places within that person a hatred toward sin. Get saved, man! Think about your sin and repent. Trust in Christ's death. Then do the unthinkable! Quit hanging around with your buddies. I mean it! C'mon, just try it! Call up your buddies and say, "Buds, I'm sorry but--I follow Christ now! That's right, you've got something to say 'bout it? Well, deal with it!!!!" Then find Christians to mingle with.

Ok, I think one thing that our friend here needs is encouragment, and someone else to own up and say, you know what I have been there. Im sure not many here can say that they didnt have some of the same issues once they had given their life to Christ. Its just that this is how the devil works, when you get closer to God is when the devil will mess with your mind. Make you question what you know is already in your heart. If you have to ask yourself if sex before marriage is wrong, that is the Lord is convicting you, you already know the answer to your question. You just have to choose to listen when God is speaking. And as far as your friends, I was saddened by the friends who said hurtful things to me when I got saved. I was excited to be a born again christian and wanted to listen to the music and read all the books, and study the Bible 24-7. At that time my pastors children had come to my boys' birthday party. And a friend who I had been close to for many years, made the comment to one of her kids, to "becareful what you say there are Holy Rolleres amongst us". This devastated me. But it angered me at my friend. I explained to her that I had always tried to never judge her for any thing good or bad that she had ever done, and I expected the same from her. She looked alittle shocked, and kinda apolygized. We remained friends, And never spoke about my faith, until one day she had wanted to show me a tattoo that she had gotten, She said, I know youll probibly think that I'm going to Hell or something. Then it hit me she acted out of charicter about me being saved because some how it made her feel like a bad person.
I explained to her that I didnt make that decision,(about going to Hell) that was between her and God. And I was her friend. I think that sometimes when people see people they love find Jesus, Jesus convicts them as well. And when my brother committed suicide she was right there with me, sitting beside me, my family, and my wonderful church family.
Still today I dont think she is saved, but if through me Jesus touches her alittle at a time. And I can be a prayer warrior for her always saying her name in my prayers, maybe one day it will all be worth it.
So you see, if they are true friends they can be your friends anyway. If not you never needed them in the first place.
I hope I havent bored you, and maybe helped just a little.
God Bless You.