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Struggling to stay alive for God, kids

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Member
Hello,

I have been married for 21 years.

Have three daughters, aged 17, 14, 10.

My oldest decided to leave our home last year, because we didn’t support her desire to be in a same sex relationship. She lives with her grandparents now.
She now is in a relationship with a boy, but still hates me and my wife for not supporting her “being gay” even though she is attracted to boys and has a boyfriend.

My 14 year old daughter is autustic, but fairly high functioning. Once her older sister “came out,” she did too, and wants us to accept her new “identity”.

My 10 year old suffers from clinical depression, anxiety, and ADHD. She literally will NOT SLEEP EVER unless given certain meds.

My wife suffers chronic anxiety and panic attacks. These began a few years into our marriage. She takes a million pills for anxiety and depression. She also suffers from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and physical trauma to her reproductive organs causing greatly diminished sexual pleasure.

Beginning around 2002 to the present I had a host of physical problems requiring an enormous number of doctor visits: 2 back surgeries, gallbladder removal, chronic intestinal distress, Endocrine disorder causing me to have to take testosterone shots, thyroid disorder for which I need to take meds, chronic fatigue, etc.

So here is the reality of mine and my family’s life:

My wife no longer has any compassion for my physical well being. She considers necessary Dr. visits of mine a huge burden on her life.

My wife does not like me any longer as a person. The “quirks” I have which she originally just let slide, she now hates. (My enjoyment of sci fi movies, playing guitar, exercising)

Because my wife no longer likes me, she has NO desire to try to offer me physical pleasure. Even though I know that her ability to experience sexual pleasure is diminished, she doesn’t even want me to try to please her.

My wife never even smiles at me.

I have compassion on her sufferings, but she has none for mine.

After 20 years of marriage, the only reason I stay alive is because my children need me.

I have no friends.

The thought of continuing to live like this—a life of constant health problems, and a wife who doesn’t even like me, is killing my soul.

It isn’t enough for me to say that God will bring good from this, or, “He who endures to the end shall be saved.”

If I try to talk this through with my wife (which I mostly have,) her response is one free of compassion— “Go see a counselor or do something, because I don’t want you to just end up dead one day.”

But when my own wife doesn’t care about me, why even bother? Why bother to see a counselor, knowing that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me anymore, never will, and never will divorce me.

I just am crushed, and can’t believe God is allowing this to happen.

My choices are either: accept a loveless marriage and suffer until I die
Let myself die
Get a divorce (which I can’t do scripturally, because Jesus
doesn’t allow divorce for when a spouse “just gets
sick of you.”

Well, I gotta go to work now.

I hope someone would pray for me— pray that God does something good
in all of this.

I don’t blame my wife for feeling let down by life— having a husband go through so many health problems, financial hardships, children that reject our faith.
I can’t hate her; she has suffered so much too.
I just never imagined that she would ever no longer love or even like me.

:(
 
Member
Go to a church that Has a deliverance ministry...be delivered there in Jesus name..and fully give your whole live to Jesus..Jesus has all the power to mend every broken pieces....Shalom.
 
Active
Suicide is a selfish decision in your relationship with God. We will deal with your relationship with others separately. It ''IS'' a separate issue. Important for you to understand that. We serve God first, then others Matt 22:37-40.

Get your life right with God first. It is so easy to do. You can know that you are a Christian 2 Cor 13:5. Do you hate what is wicked? Do you love what is good? Rom 12:9. Do you desire / are you capable of truthful repentance of your sins Psalm 51:17. Christianity is God's doing. You mentioned in the other thread that you are not yet born again. Being born again / made a new creation per 2 Cor 5:17 is ''God''s doing 1 Cor 12:3, Matt 16:16-17. We do not decide to be born again, we decide to be after God's heart. God reveals Jesus as Lord to us, washes us clean and grafts us into His family.

You will stand alone before God one day for your decisions and choices as will each member of your family. God is a righteous judge, He will consider all things. So let's ''first'' ensure you are ready for that day. You can then help those in your family be ready too. Separate issues.

You said God does not like divorce, correct. Only if there is actual adultery Matt 19:9 can one consider divorce. Otherwise the act of divorce is a grievous sin against God. Not only your spouse.

It is important to understand that the ''only'' reason a person is on earth is to become a Christian. Make their intent to be after God's heart made known to yourself and God. Then, once saved, we are here for two reasons. 1. Serve Him. Reach the lost around us. Family or not. If we can't do that, or don't want to do that, God will remove us from earth 1 Cor 5:10. 2. Grow closer to Him. Trials and tribulation such as your bodily suffering for example could be this. God will use anything to test the level of our dedication to Him.

So, once you grasp that you have an obligation to God first, then yourself and others, you can focus your life.

You do not commit suicide because God wants to use you.
You do not divorce because God hates it.
You do not give up on your daughters, albeit they leave, as you are someone God can still use to reach them. A daughter will always want and need their father. When you meet your older daughter, let her see the love of Jesus in you. Your desire to help her in anyway you can, being a caring father. She will come around.

It is impossible for moths (people in sin, not born again) to not see the light and want to go to the light. You be the light Matt 5:14.

If your wife, daughter or friends reject the light and are beyond the age of understanding, their fate is their own choosing John 3:19. As a parent and father you just have an added advantage in being able to present the truth to them. Be a light of Jesus in their lives.

God is not a fool who will send your eldest daughter to eternal hell unless she is utterly sold out to sin. Until a person is dead and in Hades, they are not utterly sold out to sin.

Once you are going to church again Heb 10:25 and have put God first in your life, you can re-visit frustrations with your wife and children.

As children of God we have God's peace on us. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding Phil 4:7 as it is not logical. We are at peace when we should not be at peace. You need this peace first. Then you can better grasp how to deal with issues.
 
Active
I hope someone would pray for me— pray that God does something good
in all of this.
God will always do great miracles out of ordinary. He did it to us too @Iwanttoremainanonymous, remember we are just mere clay, just a clay- we are just a dust but God breath on us to have life.

I know and I believe God will do it too to your family, He can breath life to it, In Jesus Name! even if it is impossible in our sight. He will and He is ABLE to do it.

But the healing cannot be done without the breaking. Breaking needs surrender and humility in our part. We need to humble ourselves that we need Him. Like a child who desperately needs the help of his Father.

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
 
Moderator
Staff Member
@Iwanttoremainanonymous

Greetings,

Praying for you and your family who you have shared about here.

I would like to 'ditto' what fellow Member KingJ (@KingJ ) wrote to you, as this was also my first base to address. May i add some other things for you and i ask you please consider these things and allow God to help you overcome.

Regarding the thought of or feeling of committing suicide.

I think it would be fair to say, that you know that committing suicide is not something God wants.
Let me put it to you like this, also, as extra reason to turn from that thought as an option for you.

I will ask a question or two so please know i am not 'in your face' with what i am about to write.

IF one of your daughters came to you and said, "Dad, I want to commit suicide, what do you think?", what would you say in response to her? Or, if one confided in and to you that the other had been thinking about suicide, what would you think was a good idea? Agree? Maybe help them? I DOUBT THAT VERY MUCH !!!
Can you see where i am coming from?
In fact, if anyone told you they were going to commit suicide or if you found out that a person was going to, at any time, would you suggest that was a grand idea? (I doubt it)
And, in fact, if someone did tell you they were thinking about it, what advice would you give them?

You see, you have to start looking at the reality of this evil thought for what it is and make up your mind that it is a vile and despicable idea that the devil wants you or anyone to start thinking about. The enemy of your life is NOT your wife nor your present situation. You have the same enemy that i have. He is a filthy liar. STOP listening to the lies that he tries to con you with.

As fellow Member Jellani (@Jellani ) said, think about your children AND your wife. Do you really want to totally screw their lives up and leave them broken and hurting and weeping in tears for years over you doing something so self orientated as suicide? I DOUBT IT VERY MUCH !!!

I think you get the picture?

So, who is to blame for the mess you are in?
God?
You?
Your wife?
Your Children?

NO
The devil does want only to kill and destroy and hurt AND to stop anyone he can from trusting God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
My friend, stuff happens. To everyone. We don't have to look too far to see and know of others who are doing it tough. Many much worse off than us. That doesn't take away our hurts and anguish, our frustrations or sadness, our desperation or weaknesses. BUT, it can [if you will allow it] help us to realize that everybody has a cross to bear, everybody has things happen and everybody [if honest] has struggles and all the sorts of feelings that everybody else does. Yes, some cruise a lot better then others and some even know truly the peace of God in Christ the Lord.
What you have going on is a bad focus. You have been conned to look at everything as bad or negative or depressing or painful or wrong or unfair.... and that is not because you are a bad person. The devil is a foul spirit who, like any pestilence, gets in and moves in, where ever he can and uninvited, too. He lies about everything that happens, to try to get us to think wrongly about it and react wrongly.
So many do that !

I want you to also see the cunning of the liar.

Look at what you said [wrote]:


My choices are either: accept a loveless marriage and suffer until I die
Let myself die
Get a divorce (which I can’t do scripturally, because Jesus
doesn’t allow divorce for when a spouse “just gets
sick of you.”
Look at what you said.
Somehow you can come at the idea of divorce as being not acceptable to God BUT you have no qualms entertaining the idea of suicide ?????
So if you can be upright about divorce, surely you can be equally as upright about killing yourself ?
But the enemy wants to trick us.
When push comes to shove, a divorce leaves you breathing and able to repent and do what is right if and when you come around to it BUT if you are dead, you can do nothing to get right, nothing to repent, not a thing !!! See how cunning the liar is ? [I am not endorsing divorce]


One more thing.

you said [wrote]:

After 22 years of a life of Christian service, I was about to get baptized. But then I started having so many suicidal thoughts, and getting so angry at God, that I didn’t get baptized. I felt it would be wrong of me to get baptized while still having such anger and sadness in my heart. That may not make any sense, but that’s how I feel.
Do you know what jumped out at me?
I was about to get baptized. But then I started.....
...I started having so many suicidal thoughts, and getting so angry at God, that I didn’t get baptized.
...I didn’t get baptized.
...I didn’t get baptized.
...I didn’t get baptized.

...I started having so many suicidal thoughts,


The devil likes us to get stinking thinking, he likes the smell of it, It stinks like him.

Read your Bible, friend. Read your Bible. And get baptized ! You can't expect to live the new life if you do not first enter it !!!
Forget your problems. Get through that Door and let the Lord be your Helper.
All these problems are keeping you from entering.
So, you don't want the problem? [understandable] OK. Then leave them alone because they are not getting you into Heaven or any peace with God that you really want. Get back to where you left off and get baptized and walk from there.
And don't forget you want to get fully baptized, as in Holy Ghost filled as well as washed.
Don't worry about if your wife wants to or not. You have to. End of story, and you do it. You don't even have to tell her, either before or afterwards. But if we want to bear good fruit, we have to walk according to the Way of the Lord, we have to get following Him, where He leads, not where problems lead !!!

OK? Get into it man..... see how you're thinking suicide which is death when actually what you want and were heading for is LIFE, Life in Christ. Get into it and move !!! Jesus is Lord but you have to obey Him, not some stinkimng thinking that keeps you from following. He got baptized and if it is good enough for Him, it's good enough for you ! He said, Follow Me
Do it !


To kick start you in the right direction.....

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
2Corinthians 10:5

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise,
think on these things

Philippians 4:6-8

yes,

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2


and get this into you...
Jesus said:
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Bless you ....><>

ps... please get back to us.
I am keen to tell you more about how you can overcome!!!
 
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Member
Hello Iwanttoremainanonymous, I agree to a large extent with what others say about your situation in this forum however I do not believe that there is any such thing as a deliverance ministry (as suggested in a previous post) because once Jesus Christ, who is the light, is in the heart darkness cannot live there anymore. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit for the day of redemption (Eph 1:13). Once the light is switched on in a room you can see clearly what is in the room and will avoid falling over anything. Well when Jesus Christ enters into your heart the light enters in and you cannot stumble over anything because He being the light causes you to walk in it. If we do stumble (and we all do) and we confess our sins He is faithful and just and forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:5-10). Have you confessed your sins?? God is light not darkness and if you are having troubles like this, and that is not say that we all don’t, then your first port of call is to approach the throne of grace and find grace and mercy in your time of need. Consider these verses from the Book of Hebrews: Heb 4:14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. Heb 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I must question your faith in Christ Jesus and where you stand spiritually. When the husband and wife are both in Christ and are led by the Holy Spirit their focus will be on Jesus Christ and where He is. We are encouraged in the Word of God to keep our eyes on Jesus Christ the author and finisher of our faith. Heb 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
I want you do to do a simple drawing on a piece of paper. Draw a fairly large triangle. Write God at the top, husband in the left-hand bottom and wife at the right-hand bottom of the triangle. Then, draw a cross (like that on which Christ was crucified) within the triangle. Write Christ Jesus (in this manner we show He is ascended) next to the cross. Then write below the triangle Holy Spirit Led. Now let me interpret what this drawing is about. First of all, God is above all. The husband and the wife are below. Jesus Christ is central within the marriage. They are both saved and in relationship with God because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross. He is their main focus. They look to Him for their righteousness because true righteousness cannot be found in any other. We are justified before God because of His Blood shed on that cross (Rom 5:1). Now in 1 Cor 2:2 we read that the Holy Spirit reveals to us the thoughts of God. We do not rely on the wisdom of man but on the wisdom of God. Who is our wisdom but Jesus Christ the Word of God (Jn 1:1-5). 1Co 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. 1Co 2:10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. 1Co 2:11 For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. 1Co 2:12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. 1Co 2:13 Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
Now, if both husband and wife are genuinely born again of the Spirit of God in accordance with Jn 3:3-6 and are in relationship with God then He will teach you all things that you need to help you in your situation( Please read John 16 emphasis on verses 12-15). As the above verses show the wisdom of this world is not what we are in need of, psychology included. What is needed is Gods point of view not the worlds. Gods point of view is that we are all sinners in need of a saviour and His righteousness (Rom 2:23). The schools teach things contrary to the Word of God and have thrown Him out and replaced Him with a worldly view point (taught by the liar or liars – Satan through his ungodly people on this earth), not a Godly one and as a result our children become confused and disorientated as with your children.
Now, let us continue with the triangle, as the husband and the wife grown in the knowledge of God and of His Son IN WHAT He Has done and achieved for us, they grow up closer together in the Lord until they finally come home to God at the Resurrection or the rapture (1 Cor 15). Those in Christ are saved, are being saved and will be saved in the end if they endure in the faith. Trials are used by God to bring us to our knees and there after to show His faithfulness, love and sincerity in helping us overcome them. The only natural thing to come out of such a loving relationship as this with God and His Son is HOW TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN IN A LOVING AND CARING RELATIOSHIP. I encourage you to read Ezekiel 18 and then understand who God holds accountable in these relationships first with Him and with each other. Take note that what is in the Old Testament is in the New Testament revealed, what is in the New Testament is in the Old Testament concealed. You must take the bible as a whole!
Because of space and the length of this post I cannot cover everything that you may need to know to help you. It would be best to go to a genuine bible teaching church that relies on the Word of God as the only authority they have to help you deal with your issues. You need a loving and caring Pastor who will take you under his wing and lead you through the scriptures. I do not know where you stay, I presume in the USA, but I am in South Africa and a far distance from where you stay. If you wish and if the moderators allow, you are more than welcome to contact me via email and I will point you to some people that may be able to help. This will keep your anonymity. It is great to help on a forum like this and I enjoy the ministering but it cannot replace a pastor who is genuinely following Christ Jesus and fellowship with other believers who are able to minister to you (read Ephesians 4).
 
Active
I do not believe that there is any such thing as a deliverance ministry
“Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
 
Loyal
I herd a wise older fellow tell me one time, he has never had a person say no to him when he asked if he could pray over them. Maybe you could ask your wife if you could pray over her and this way you might be able to get some things off your heart , . I know have read a study that showed that married couples that read the bible together and pray together have almost 0 divorce rate,

Praying for your situation brother,

please do not give up God loves you, and he can turn this around for you, please keep having faith, maybe try fasting on the situation.
 
Member
Jellani

New Add bookmark Saturday at 6:30 PM #8

UncleD said:
I do not believe that there is any such thing as a deliverance ministry
“Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Response:

Hello Jellani, thanks for the response to my comment regarding a “deliverance ministry”. I expected I would get a reply to my comment. However, I still disagree with you on that subject.

As I pointed out in my post once Jesus Christ enters the heart darkness can no longer reign there and since light (Jesus is the light Gen 1:3-5, Jn 1:1-5, 1 Jn 1:5) and darkness cannot share the same temple the light which is more powerful than the darkness pushes out the darkness. We see this daily.
Daily the light of the sun comes up and pushes back the darkness. Every time you enter a dark room the first thing you reach for is the light switch, when you switch it on the darkness goes to the outer extremities. If there were any demons to begin with then those demons cannot remain because they cannot share the same temple. Once Jesus Christ enters the temple, which those who are genuinely in Christ are, He immediately cleanses the temple. We see a picture of this in Matt 21:12-13.
We also see in Acts 8:4-8 Philip the evangelist preaching Christ to them and preforming miracles amongst them, they believed in Christ, and the demons came out and there was much joy in that city. Once Jesus enters in there is no place for demons.

You have not supported your verse with any other text. Jesus Christ at the point of this text had not been crucified and therefore the disciples with Him did not have Him spiritually reigning in their heart. They believed that Jesus Christ was the Messiah but they were still under the Old Covenant and if they had died at that point they would have gone to Abrahams bosom or paradise until Jesus Christ had brought in the New Covenant in His Blood and thereby fulfilling most of the feasts and the sacrifices mentioned in Exodus and Leviticus. Read the Book of Hebrews especially chapters 8-10.
Once Jesus Christ has entered in to the Holy of Holies (in your heart because heaven is in your heart) He immediately takes His seat on the throne of your heart and reigns over you not a demon.

Your point of view, which no doubt you picked up from false teachings, gets the person to focus on demons and not on the finished work of Christ on the cross (John 19:30).

Either Jesus Christ has finished the work of redemption and salvation on the cross by shedding His Blood or He hasn’t. I believe, in accordance with scripture, that He did this because He was a sinless man who was 100 percent God and a hundred percent man, the perfect sacrifice. He who knew no sin became sin for me that I may have salvation in His Blood. He did what we could not do for ourselves.
These disciples, who later became apostles, except for Judas Iscariot, at the time were showing that the Messiah had come and that He had given them authority over demons and to heal the sick etc. It was mainly for the Jews, they went to the lost sheep of Israel and not the world at large.

Have a look at the manner in which Jesus spoke to His disciples … the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand (Matt 3:2; Matt 4:17; Matt 10:7 to give example). He said this because heaven would be only available to those who would believe in His death, burial and resurrection, His Blood shed so that we too can enter into heaven by His selfless act. Only once the New Covenant in His Blood was brought in did Pentecost take place and they could go out into all the world and preach the Gospel in accordance with Matt 28:18-20. John 14, where Jesus promised the Holy Spirit, was also fulfilled at Pentecost.

The Great Commission was never originally given to the church, the church was not in existence then, it was given to the Apostles and they after Pentecost had to go teach the nations teaching them everything that Jesus had taught them Himself (Matt 28:20).
The New Testament is founded on the teachings of the Apostles and the prophets with Jesus Christ as the chief corner stone (Eph 2:20). They went and preach Jesus Christ crucified not deliverance from demons.

All those in Christ Jesus have been delivered from their sinful past and demonic associations to follow after the living God above.

Take note of these verses if you doubt what I am saying: Eph 2:18 For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Eph 2:19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God; Eph 2:20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; Eph 2:21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: Eph 2:22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

I cannot accept that a person who is born again of the Spirit of God, who has Jesus Christ on the throne of his heart can be possessed by a demon. There are plenty of demonic influences in the world, I agree, and they can have an influence on me if I am not versed in sound doctrine. Eph 6 speaks of that but that is a whole new teaching in itself. The sword of the Spirit is what we wield, and it is on the Word of God we stand.

Again, a genuine born again Christian cannot be possessed by a demon, influenced yes because of the fallen world but … we have the Word of God, Christ Jesus in our hearts and the Holy Spirit empowering us to overcome and make us ready until our Bridegroom – Jesus Christ – returns to take us out.
 
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Moderator
Staff Member
Greetings,

I expected I would get a reply to my comment.
As this is the Counselling Forum, we do try to keep from engaging in large 'debates' which easily follow 'replies'.

I understand what you are writing and why and that in this way it may help the reader to find what they are looking for.


May i note, although i can not judge nor speak on behalf of another in this case, but the Member in question, who began this Thread, may first need to get born again, to receive the Lord as King and give Him His throne, that you write of.
If the Member has not done this, is a deliverance a potential help in being set free to come to the Lord and in their right mind, to yield the throne? [ i personally am not all that much inspired by 'deliverance ministries' ]

I shall copy @Iwanttoremainanonymous in, here. As it is he who I am referring to.

A man may walk the Churchy way all his life but never enter in.
He may think he is in because he goes to church or serves at church or sings hymns or gives generously. He may think he is in because others say, "amen" at the end of his prayers.
But speaking Biblically, without going into a long discussion on it, unless a man is born again... is the criteria, is it not? Then, and only then can Jesus Be Lord of a welcome heart.

However, let us keep this short.

To @Iwanttoremainanonymous ,
if you are still with us, have you considered getting baptised?

A man can tell you all the remedies and give you a thousand tips and guidelines about sorting out your marriage and children and even getting to feel better in yourself about Jesus, but we do need to look and see what the Author says in His Book and first, and only, follow Him in what He directs us all in.
If you are still on the fence or outside looking in, consider the present condition you are in and ask yourself, do i really want the fullness of the blessing of being a Christian, do i really want the Life promised, should i get baptised and tarry not?
You might sometimes feel suicidal, but what happens if you were cleaned up by a passing truck or drunk driver or picked off by some madman with a gun? Then what?
Do not trust your fate to you being in control.

If you can talk to someone local from a fellowship, it doesn't have to be the one you used to attend, do so. It is not that hard. Ask for a few minutes and ask them about the importance of Baptism for you.

Praying for you and your family who you love and who are loved by God.

keep us posted,


Bless you ....><>


Bless you ....><>
 
Loyal
My dear brother @Iwanttoremainanonymous my heart is troubled, but in a different way with you, I have been where you are, the circumstances were different as they would be in any family, but I have been in that black hole my friend. You try get out but fall deeper in, you try scramble out of the black hole and slide further in to the darkness, the light at the end of the tunnel diminishes the deeper you go, suicidal thought are lurking, you dwell on them, they become more real by the day.

I have been there, planned every stage, over and over again, warning till you think of nothing else! What we don't see is the real situation, we are not alone many are in your situation, many have come out of the situation, but sadly there are those who do take their life. The black hole had a light but the light diminishes, the hole gets darker and darker, deeper and deeper, you are not in control, but the devil is my friend. He does not want us to come to Christ, he wants us dead.

I am not going to go over what our dear brothers and sisters have said, all very important I must add, let us look at your situation first my friend, in no particular order let the Spirit guide our hearts and minds.

You say your wife does not desire sex, and has an illness which adds to this. I went through this for a long period, I had counselling for 8-9 months for other things locked away within me for 40 years, I remember telling the counsellor this, it was just another burden on top of a lot of others, the lady said to me...
Do you love your wife?
Do you want your wife or do you want sex, then she said, if you had to choose just one which would you choose.
The answer to the first question was the answer to both, we take our husbands and wife for better and for worse, because 'we love them'.

You have your problems, many of them, but so does your wife, you are 'both' struggling, and we all cope or don't cope in different ways.
It is because you love them so much that you carry the burden for the family, the man is the spiritual head of the family, your heart is right, your mind is being screwed up by the issues you face, fiery darts of the evil one. Stop, think my friend, where would your wife be if you took your life? How would she cope?

When natural death occurs, we grieve, we cope, it is hard, harder for some more than others, but suicide is harder to cope with and people left behind blame themselves. Suicide is in reality a selfish way out, I can't cope, I have had enough, this is to much for me, I, I, me!!! The devil loves it, why? Because if your eyes are on your problems they are not on God, not on Jesus.

As I mentioned above, you are carrying the burden for your family, that is what fathers do, that is what dad's do. That is why Jesus says, come to the Father through me...

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV)
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

You are carrying the burden our Lord says He will carry for you, share your load with Jesus my friend, open your heart to Him, 'give Him your load' and let go of it, ask Jesus to help you with all these things, start with a few at first if it is easier for you, go through them with him in prayer, share your inner most feelings.

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Have Faith, have hope, have Love. I remember a pastor telling me in the depth of crisis, I thought I was going to lose my wife and children, LOVE her through it, LOVE her and let her know she is loved. LOVE will see you through these things.

1 Corinthians 13:13
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

We must have Faith, every day we need Hope, BUT the GREATEST of these is LOVE

Love your wife, love your daughters, it is hard in these latter days of the end time, you can hate the sin of being gay, but you still love your daughter, keep loving them as if they are not gay, yes it is not easy but let love shine through. If you feel it right, tell your daughter you really love her but don't accept the sin. She will no doubt say it is not a sin, don't get involved, don't push it, don't argue, you still love your daughter. Bless you.

You are not just in a battle with your health, your wife's health, you have three lovely daughters whom you love so much, three lovely daughter, two of which are in their teens, in their rebellious years, this just adds to your burdens my friend, I feel the pain. You love them so much that is why yu hurt so much, you are carrying the burden alone!

You are also in a spiritual battle for your soul my friend, this I went through also. Mine was when I came to faith that my wife and kids set against me, I could tell you so much more but this is not about my experience but what you are going through. You were going to be baptized, but the situation stopped you, no my friend the devil stopped you. Go and be baptized my friend, in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, in Jesus Name Amen.

Get right with God, give Him your burdens, let His Light shine from you and His love reflect to your family and all you meet.

Romans 8:35,37
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
(Or anything else we are experiencing)


37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,
39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Numbers 6:25-26
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.” ’

Jesus loves you we do too.

In His Love

Bless you friend.
 
Member
Speaking from a wife's perspective, I agree with the comment that you need to work on your relationship with God first. Then learn your wife. She is probably grieved at the trials with her children as well. The more you are able to love her sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, and the more she feels cared for and protected - spiritually as well as financially and emotionally, she will be more likely to give of herself to you.
 
Active
Jellani

New Add bookmark Saturday at 6:30 PM #8


“Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Response:

Hello Jellani, thanks for the response to my comment regarding a “deliverance ministry”. I expected I would get a reply to my comment. However, I still disagree with you on that subject.

As I pointed out in my post once Jesus Christ enters the heart darkness can no longer reign there and since light (Jesus is the light Gen 1:3-5, Jn 1:1-5, 1 Jn 1:5) and darkness cannot share the same temple the light which is more powerful than the darkness pushes out the darkness. We see this daily.
Daily the light of the sun comes up and pushes back the darkness. Every time you enter a dark room the first thing you reach for is the light switch, when you switch it on the darkness goes to the outer extremities. If there were any demons to begin with then those demons cannot remain because they cannot share the same temple. Once Jesus Christ enters the temple, which those who are genuinely in Christ are, He immediately cleanses the temple. We see a picture of this in Matt 21:12-13.
We also see in Acts 8:4-8 Philip the evangelist preaching Christ to them and preforming miracles amongst them, they believed in Christ, and the demons came out and there was much joy in that city. Once Jesus enters in there is no place for demons.

You have not supported your verse with any other text. Jesus Christ at the point of this text had not been crucified and therefore the disciples with Him did not have Him spiritually reigning in their heart. They believed that Jesus Christ was the Messiah but they were still under the Old Covenant and if they had died at that point they would have gone to Abrahams bosom or paradise until Jesus Christ had brought in the New Covenant in His Blood and thereby fulfilling most of the feasts and the sacrifices mentioned in Exodus and Leviticus. Read the Book of Hebrews especially chapters 8-10.
Once Jesus Christ has entered in to the Holy of Holies (in your heart because heaven is in your heart) He immediately takes His seat on the throne of your heart and reigns over you not a demon.

Your point of view, which no doubt you picked up from false teachings, gets the person to focus on demons and not on the finished work of Christ on the cross (John 19:30).

Either Jesus Christ has finished the work of redemption and salvation on the cross by shedding His Blood or He hasn’t. I believe, in accordance with scripture, that He did this because He was a sinless man who was 100 percent God and a hundred percent man, the perfect sacrifice. He who knew no sin became sin for me that I may have salvation in His Blood. He did what we could not do for ourselves.
These disciples, who later became apostles, except for Judas Iscariot, at the time were showing that the Messiah had come and that He had given them authority over demons and to heal the sick etc. It was mainly for the Jews, they went to the lost sheep of Israel and not the world at large.

Have a look at the manner in which Jesus spoke to His disciples … the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand (Matt 3:2; Matt 4:17; Matt 10:7 to give example). He said this because heaven would be only available to those who would believe in His death, burial and resurrection, His Blood shed so that we too can enter into heaven by His selfless act. Only once the New Covenant in His Blood was brought in did Pentecost take place and they could go out into all the world and preach the Gospel in accordance with Matt 28:18-20. John 14, where Jesus promised the Holy Spirit, was also fulfilled at Pentecost.

The Great Commission was never originally given to the church, the church was not in existence then, it was given to the Apostles and they after Pentecost had to go teach the nations teaching them everything that Jesus had taught them Himself (Matt 28:20).
The New Testament is founded on the teachings of the Apostles and the prophets with Jesus Christ as the chief corner stone (Eph 2:20). They went and preach Jesus Christ crucified not deliverance from demons.

All those in Christ Jesus have been delivered from their sinful past and demonic associations to follow after the living God above.

Take note of these verses if you doubt what I am saying: Eph 2:18 For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Eph 2:19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God; Eph 2:20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; Eph 2:21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: Eph 2:22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

I cannot accept that a person who is born again of the Spirit of God, who has Jesus Christ on the throne of his heart can be possessed by a demon. There are plenty of demonic influences in the world, I agree, and they can have an influence on me if I am not versed in sound doctrine. Eph 6 speaks of that but that is a whole new teaching in itself. The sword of the Spirit is what we wield, and it is on the Word of God we stand.

Again, a genuine born again Christian cannot be possessed by a demon, influenced yes because of the fallen world but … we have the Word of God, Christ Jesus in our hearts and the Holy Spirit empowering us to overcome and make us ready until our Bridegroom – Jesus Christ – returns to take us out.
Not posessed. That's impossible. But Jesus said satan had bound that daughter from Abraham for 18 years. She had that back problem. She wasn't demon posessed, but it was a demon bothering her.
 
Member

Mir

Hello,

I have been married for 21 years.

Have three daughters, aged 17, 14, 10.

My oldest decided to leave our home last year, because we didn’t support her desire to be in a same sex relationship. She lives with her grandparents now.
She now is in a relationship with a boy, but still hates me and my wife for not supporting her “being gay” even though she is attracted to boys and has a boyfriend.

My 14 year old daughter is autustic, but fairly high functioning. Once her older sister “came out,” she did too, and wants us to accept her new “identity”.

My 10 year old suffers from clinical depression, anxiety, and ADHD. She literally will NOT SLEEP EVER unless given certain meds.

My wife suffers chronic anxiety and panic attacks. These began a few years into our marriage. She takes a million pills for anxiety and depression. She also suffers from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and physical trauma to her reproductive organs causing greatly diminished sexual pleasure.

Beginning around 2002 to the present I had a host of physical problems requiring an enormous number of doctor visits: 2 back surgeries, gallbladder removal, chronic intestinal distress, Endocrine disorder causing me to have to take testosterone shots, thyroid disorder for which I need to take meds, chronic fatigue, etc.

So here is the reality of mine and my family’s life:

My wife no longer has any compassion for my physical well being. She considers necessary Dr. visits of mine a huge burden on her life.

My wife does not like me any longer as a person. The “quirks” I have which she originally just let slide, she now hates. (My enjoyment of sci fi movies, playing guitar, exercising)

Because my wife no longer likes me, she has NO desire to try to offer me physical pleasure. Even though I know that her ability to experience sexual pleasure is diminished, she doesn’t even want me to try to please her.

My wife never even smiles at me.

I have compassion on her sufferings, but she has none for mine.

After 20 years of marriage, the only reason I stay alive is because my children need me.

I have no friends.

The thought of continuing to live like this—a life of constant health problems, and a wife who doesn’t even like me, is killing my soul.

It isn’t enough for me to say that God will bring good from this, or, “He who endures to the end shall be saved.”

If I try to talk this through with my wife (which I mostly have,) her response is one free of compassion— “Go see a counselor or do something, because I don’t want you to just end up dead one day.”

But when my own wife doesn’t care about me, why even bother? Why bother to see a counselor, knowing that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me anymore, never will, and never will divorce me.

I just am crushed, and can’t believe God is allowing this to happen.

My choices are either: accept a loveless marriage and suffer until I die
Let myself die
Get a divorce (which I can’t do scripturally, because Jesus
doesn’t allow divorce for when a spouse “just gets
sick of you.”

Well, I gotta go to work now.

I hope someone would pray for me— pray that God does something good
in all of this.

I don’t blame my wife for feeling let down by life— having a husband go through so many health problems, financial hardships, children that reject our faith.
I can’t hate her; she has suffered so much too.
I just never imagined that she would ever no longer love or even like me.

:(I pray you are in a better
place today in your life... I am on this thread looking for encouragement to get thru emotional and verbal abuse from spouse... trying to get through for God and family is tiring at times. Looking for God to send me encouragement and I pray for you as well . God has answered prayer in the past. I just hope he answers this one. No matter I will never give up on God!
 
Active
place today in your life... I am on this thread looking for encouragement to get thru emotional and verbal abuse from spouse... trying to get through for God and family is tiring at times. Looking for God to send me encouragement and I pray for you as well . God has answered prayer in the past. I just hope he answers this one. No matter I will never give up on God!
Hi Mir,

One passage that springs to mind is -

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9‭-‬10 NIV

Maybe it's a bit out of context because Paul was more referring to people within the church rather than within his own immediate family but I think it's very relevant.

Let your true focus be upon that other love in your life, the risen Lord Jesus. Meanwhile please keep loving and praying for your spouse and hopefully before long he/she will come around when he/she eventually realises what a lovely, supportive spouse they have.

God bless you both?
 
Active
Hello,

I have been married for 21 years.

Have three daughters, aged 17, 14, 10.

My oldest decided to leave our home last year, because we didn’t support her desire to be in a same sex relationship. She lives with her grandparents now.
She now is in a relationship with a boy, but still hates me and my wife for not supporting her “being gay” even though she is attracted to boys and has a boyfriend.

My 14 year old daughter is autustic, but fairly high functioning. Once her older sister “came out,” she did too, and wants us to accept her new “identity”.

My 10 year old suffers from clinical depression, anxiety, and ADHD. She literally will NOT SLEEP EVER unless given certain meds.

My wife suffers chronic anxiety and panic attacks. These began a few years into our marriage. She takes a million pills for anxiety and depression. She also suffers from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and physical trauma to her reproductive organs causing greatly diminished sexual pleasure.

Beginning around 2002 to the present I had a host of physical problems requiring an enormous number of doctor visits: 2 back surgeries, gallbladder removal, chronic intestinal distress, Endocrine disorder causing me to have to take testosterone shots, thyroid disorder for which I need to take meds, chronic fatigue, etc.

So here is the reality of mine and my family’s life:

My wife no longer has any compassion for my physical well being. She considers necessary Dr. visits of mine a huge burden on her life.

My wife does not like me any longer as a person. The “quirks” I have which she originally just let slide, she now hates. (My enjoyment of sci fi movies, playing guitar, exercising)

Because my wife no longer likes me, she has NO desire to try to offer me physical pleasure. Even though I know that her ability to experience sexual pleasure is diminished, she doesn’t even want me to try to please her.

My wife never even smiles at me.

I have compassion on her sufferings, but she has none for mine.

After 20 years of marriage, the only reason I stay alive is because my children need me.

I have no friends.

The thought of continuing to live like this—a life of constant health problems, and a wife who doesn’t even like me, is killing my soul.

It isn’t enough for me to say that God will bring good from this, or, “He who endures to the end shall be saved.”

If I try to talk this through with my wife (which I mostly have,) her response is one free of compassion— “Go see a counselor or do something, because I don’t want you to just end up dead one day.”

But when my own wife doesn’t care about me, why even bother? Why bother to see a counselor, knowing that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me anymore, never will, and never will divorce me.

I just am crushed, and can’t believe God is allowing this to happen.

My choices are either: accept a loveless marriage and suffer until I die
Let myself die
Get a divorce (which I can’t do scripturally, because Jesus
doesn’t allow divorce for when a spouse “just gets
sick of you.”

Well, I gotta go to work now.

I hope someone would pray for me— pray that God does something good
in all of this.

I don’t blame my wife for feeling let down by life— having a husband go through so many health problems, financial hardships, children that reject our faith.
I can’t hate her; she has suffered so much too.
I just never imagined that she would ever no longer love or even like me.

:(
J
Hello,

I have been married for 21 years.

Have three daughters, aged 17, 14, 10.

My oldest decided to leave our home last year, because we didn’t support her desire to be in a same sex relationship. She lives with her grandparents now.
She now is in a relationship with a boy, but still hates me and my wife for not supporting her “being gay” even though she is attracted to boys and has a boyfriend.

My 14 year old daughter is autustic, but fairly high functioning. Once her older sister “came out,” she did too, and wants us to accept her new “identity”.

My 10 year old suffers from clinical depression, anxiety, and ADHD. She literally will NOT SLEEP EVER unless given certain meds.

My wife suffers chronic anxiety and panic attacks. These began a few years into our marriage. She takes a million pills for anxiety and depression. She also suffers from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and physical trauma to her reproductive organs causing greatly diminished sexual pleasure.

Beginning around 2002 to the present I had a host of physical problems requiring an enormous number of doctor visits: 2 back surgeries, gallbladder removal, chronic intestinal distress, Endocrine disorder causing me to have to take testosterone shots, thyroid disorder for which I need to take meds, chronic fatigue, etc.

So here is the reality of mine and my family’s life:

My wife no longer has any compassion for my physical well being. She considers necessary Dr. visits of mine a huge burden on her life.

My wife does not like me any longer as a person. The “quirks” I have which she originally just let slide, she now hates. (My enjoyment of sci fi movies, playing guitar, exercising)

Because my wife no longer likes me, she has NO desire to try to offer me physical pleasure. Even though I know that her ability to experience sexual pleasure is diminished, she doesn’t even want me to try to please her.

My wife never even smiles at me.

I have compassion on her sufferings, but she has none for mine.

After 20 years of marriage, the only reason I stay alive is because my children need me.

I have no friends.

The thought of continuing to live like this—a life of constant health problems, and a wife who doesn’t even like me, is killing my soul.

It isn’t enough for me to say that God will bring good from this, or, “He who endures to the end shall be saved.”

If I try to talk this through with my wife (which I mostly have,) her response is one free of compassion— “Go see a counselor or do something, because I don’t want you to just end up dead one day.”

But when my own wife doesn’t care about me, why even bother? Why bother to see a counselor, knowing that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me anymore, never will, and never will divorce me.

I just am crushed, and can’t believe God is allowing this to happen.

My choices are either: accept a loveless marriage and suffer until I die
Let myself die
Get a divorce (which I can’t do scripturally, because Jesus
doesn’t allow divorce for when a spouse “just gets
sick of you.”

Well, I gotta go to work now.

I hope someone would pray for me— pray that God does something good
in all of this.

I don’t blame my wife for feeling let down by life— having a husband go through so many health problems, financial hardships, children that reject our faith.
I can’t hate her; she has suffered so much too.
I just never imagined that she would ever no longer love or even like me.

:(
Hi anon, I notice there is no mention of Jesus in your post. The one person who can put things right is not mentioned. What does he say about this? Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. You are listing you and your families woes and questioning, why God will do nothing about it. He already has, he allowed his son to be nailed to a cross for you. We are all sinners, including you, and the wages of sin is death. However, because of God's love for you! He put his own son on the cross to take the punishment that you should be taking for the sins that you have committed. All he asks, is that you, in prayer, kneel before His son, confess that the price he paid for your sin should have been yours, and ask him into your heart to change you and give you new life in him. True Christians throughout the world have done just this, and our lives have been changed. My marriage that was on the verge of destruction and has been saved and renewed, my wife followed me to the feet of Jesus as did my children and now we live in peace and joy. I pray Anon, that you will join us. You wouldn't be here on talk Jesus, if Jesus hadn't arranged it. go for it bro.
 

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