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I feel like God is going to let me go crazy everything i do, I think to myself, that wasn’t normal and then I have a panic attack afraid that I’m going crazy. I start praying as hard as I can but I am scared as a person can possibly be. I don’t know what to do I read a forum that tells me I’m fine but the. I look at the way I act and I think to myself. The forum was wrong And I think I’m going crazy again. I can’t enjoy any moments in life because of this and I just feel like dying and going to heaven so I don’t have to deal with this.
( don’t worry I would never commit suicid)
But I just feel like giving up. I have talked with my mom and I felt very reassured afterward but the next morning I started singing a song in my head as soon as I woke up and random thoughts were popping in an out of my head and I was scared to death again. I don’t know what to do at this point and I’m scared as can be
 
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Hi Josh, really sorry to hear about your problems. From what you've written in your post, I would strongly suggest you go and see your doctor and ask for a referral to get a mental health check up. You seem to be giving irrational priorities to your thoughts, letting them dictate your whole persona and mood, to the point that you're wanting an early death. That's not good. No you're not going crazy, it's more likely that there's something in your mind that's amiss and needs correcting, maybe a hormone or chemical imbalance that needs correcting. You say that you're not thinking of suicide but that could change if you don't get on top of this, so please get it sorted.

You say that you pray as hard as you can, that sounds very intense. Josh try to relax, God wants you to really get to know Him and learn to talk to Him as an equal. He wants you to really enjoy your relationship with Him and love Him and He delights in your expression to Him of that love and adoration. Can I suggest you download an app on your phone or tablet called YouVersion? It's a Bible, you can set it to any version you like and in it there various reading plans. Suggest you go for the devotional ones that walk you through passages that describe God and His nature. You need to get to know God much better and get an appreciation of Him and how he loves, cares for and looks after you.

Try to make about one third of your prayer devotional, telling God you love Him, why you love Him and thank and appreciate Him for all the things He's done for you. Make your prayers more relaxed, chatty, tell God how you're feeling and keep asking for His Holy Spirit for peace and calmness that only He can give.

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Dear Lord God, I pray for my dear brother Josh. He seems so tormented in his own thoughts, I pray Lord for calmness and peace, please heal his mind, give him the comfort and peace of mind to relax and enjoy the life that you have given him. Send your Holy Spirit Lord to reveal to him your goodness, grace and love for him. Like us all he needs you Lord. I pray for healing in his mental health so that he can refocus on you.

Dear Lord we love you, we love the way you look after us, care for us and provide all that we need and so much more besides. I pray for Josh dear God, a very special blessing upon him.

Amen
 
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