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Starting from scratch

Hi, I have first of all had horrible dreams recently. The most prominant being one that I can only describe as apocyptic in nature. It involved the sky turning blood red with shards of red breaking through heavy black clouds. There was fire falling from the sky. Everyone was panicking and fleeing for their lives in every direction. Then, I saw the ocean turn to black, it was like the sea turned to oil, it was very thick and there where shapes moving in it, kind of like the marine life was trying to breach the water to try and breath but couldnt, so they where dieing. This dream (I use the word dream loosely) I found very distressing for a while, even though I have had alot worse that left me unfazed.
Another dream which was one I had last night, I dont know if it meant anything butit was very peculiar. The sky turned black and then it started to swirl, and in the middle of this swirling motion light broke out, it is something that I cant quite describe which is frustrating. It was like the light was shining from another plain and breaking out into ours. I was in a building with some random ppl and I remember a man saying to me it's only change, or something very strange like that. The light grew stronger and began to petrude further. It was like a vortex or something, lol. I wish I could draw it and show you.
Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest because they really where very bizarre dreams by any stretch of the immagination. Ok, onto the main topic at hand.

Ok, I want to start again. I was raised as a born again christian. However, ever since moving to England everythng has gone wrong for me and I mean everything, at present I have nothing left other than music. I am currently trying to get a job so I can rebuild, but I want to do it right. I dont kow why thins have gone like this, I certainly never stepped that far out of line to warrant this. All I know is that the life style that I have adopted hence can no longer be so. I have stripped every facet of my old self away and Im very much the bare bones of who I am and I want to rebuild myself, or should I say, let God rebuild me. I need help though. Im not unknowing when it comes to christianity. However, the whole concept of christianity I find so unstructured that I find it very difficult to adapt to it. Christianity exists in such a variety of forms that I dont know what it is for me conceptually. As for it's application, I am the kind of person that needs clear structures in place to build on, however, there seems to be such a horde of information that I find it difficult to know where to truely begin.
Another problem that I realise I have is that I probably know far more about the enemy than God. This seems to have had a negative effect with regard to sensitivity to God. I dont feel him, I am very sensitive to the enemy but not got which greatly disturbs me.
Lastly, I am concerned about my adult life. I seem to cope badly out of solitude. I never used to be like this, but I seem to be lost when Im not on my own, I crave it and fear being without it, I cant explain it very well. Also, Im being pressured to pursue business. No matter how good I am at it, I dont want to do this! I can feel that it brings out a very dark side to me that I really dont want to get to know any further. I want to do music, thats the only reason Im still alive today, I want to do that no matter what, but Im not being given the chance to concentrate on it unhinderd. Ok, this is yet again a long post by me, sorry to be a nuisance, lol. Ok, well I hope I have been coherent. Thanks peeps.
Your dreams bring to mind a chapter in the Bible, Revelation, you should read it. Christianity begins with faith, with deciding to believe the word of God as the unerring truth. I can testify to you that the word of God (the Bible) is true, the whole thing. When you really think about it, Christianity semms very unstructured and yes dificult to adapt to. But I love all the more when people say that, because it proves the word of God all the more. Lets define flesh- the system of living or thinking thats contrary to the word of God
Spirit- the word of God, His systemof thinking, His ways,
The word of God says 'It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh profits nothing, the words that I speak to you are spirit and they are life"
"that which is born of flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit
that which is flesh can not understand the things of the spirit, they are against each other, contrary to each other, in enmity.
"The natural man recieveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him, neither can he know them.
"but we speak the wisdom of God, a hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world"
Thats why it all begins with what i said at the top, if you're fleshly minded, you're going to be thinking that the word of God is foolishness, you wont believe, and you'll think that the word of God is just words on a page, but if you're spiritually minded,,,,,,,,,, you'll decide you will believe no matter what doubt, fear, or obstacle comes in your way, it begins by faith, once you believe, i mean really decide to believe, i stress the word "believe", God will give you His Spirit, and some how you'll recieve a greater understanding, patience, it takes patience, wait on God
You said that you stripped off your old self, and now you're bare bones, so now I counsel you, Jesus said you must be born again, take up a new way of living, a new way of thinking, follow Him, give your life to him, seek Him, and be like the apostle Paul who said 'I count alll things as lost to obtain the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord'
You said you know a lot about the darker side, why not sit down at the feet of Christ Jesus and learn from Him, believe in Him surrender yourself to His words. Let Him be your sustenance in whom you cant let go, put down every idol and false god, and place Jesus as the King in your heart. Because all things pass away, and at the end, it'll be nothing, not music, fame, money, but just you and Jesus, right before His face
He loves you, He sees you, He remembers you
If you want to know where these scriptures are, i'll give it to you, if you ask
hi eclipse, that was quite a post...are you a politician or wat..so many words and yet kinda vague..anyway i need to no if you go to church?and if you do...maybe u need to talk toa counsellor...you can do this..God sees your desire to start afresh and is working on you...start by talking to him...even if its hi God...its a start...
Ok so you seem to be a very serius person and think alot about stuff yeah?

As for the dreams, you should ask scrappy to pray for ya as i used to have weird horrid dreams until he prayed (he's kool!) and then they went away, like completly.
Spritual Warfare

Ok, I have just had a very interesting revelation. Back in my old church, this is like a decade ago So I was quite young. I remember now that there where some people who had prophetic dreams about me and a couple of other kids in the church, they said (not directly to me, but to my mother) that I was chosen or going to be chosen to do Spritual Warfare. Perhaps this could be why things are going so wrong, because Im straying from what I have been assigned to do? Well,anyway. If this indeed is the case, Im going to need some direction.Because as far as Spritual Warfare is concerned Im only really adept at knowing how the occult warfare against Christians and not the other way round. So please could someone help me on this or at least provide some clarification, as I seriously dont want to be led into another blind alley. Thanks all.