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- Feb 9, 2004
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Stand! - October 14, 2006
In her regular opinion piece, a local columnist asks the question, "When is it time to stop the handouts?" The writer is referring to young adults, and the doting parents who continue to "help" them long after they are children, by paying off their college expenses, gas cards, cell phones, car-insurance payments, rent, and, well, you get the picture.
To the individuals being "assisted," I am sure the "helping hand" brings a smile and sigh of relief, but the truth of the matter is that spoon-feeding individuals who are capable of feeding themselves robs them of far greater gifts.
Being an adult is about more than being legally able to drive, or by proving an age requirement on one's identification card. It is similar to how a mother bird gently pushes her baby from the nest so that her little one can learn to fly and gather food alone so that he may survive when she is gone.
So too do our own grown children need to experience such responsibilities as paying off their own bills and being personally and financially accountable for their own actions or they will remain forever reliant on mom and dad, (or grandma and grandpa), and that is far from what being an adult is about. There are psychologists who go so far as to say that such pampering behaviors are a form of control.
Both my husband and I moved from our parent's homes at a young age. Both of us worked hard, and for the most part, supported ourselves. When I couldn't afford something, I did without it. I suppose I could have ran and asked my parent's, but I wanted to prove to them, and more importantly, myself, that I was responsible enough to handle my own affairs. The sweet result was that the self-sufficiency made me appreciate everything I worked for all the more. I didn't wear brand name clothes, or eat filet mignon, but the self-respect and confidence which came as a result was worth more than gold!
This Daily Wisdom is not about advising parents to not be there for their grown children when they really need it because there are times in life we ALL need a helping hand and shoulder to cry on. However, just as there is a time when we must encourage our children to stand on their own, so too does God require each of us to come to Him willingly and lovingly, not out of coercion or guilt, but of our genuine desire to have a one-on-one relationship with our Creator.
Stand, and walk forward. God is waiting for you.
Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2005 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living: A Christian marriage manual and Life-guide", "Son Salutations" and "Daily Contemplations", which are a collection of read-one-a-day modern inspirations. For more information, visit home
In her regular opinion piece, a local columnist asks the question, "When is it time to stop the handouts?" The writer is referring to young adults, and the doting parents who continue to "help" them long after they are children, by paying off their college expenses, gas cards, cell phones, car-insurance payments, rent, and, well, you get the picture.
To the individuals being "assisted," I am sure the "helping hand" brings a smile and sigh of relief, but the truth of the matter is that spoon-feeding individuals who are capable of feeding themselves robs them of far greater gifts.
Being an adult is about more than being legally able to drive, or by proving an age requirement on one's identification card. It is similar to how a mother bird gently pushes her baby from the nest so that her little one can learn to fly and gather food alone so that he may survive when she is gone.
So too do our own grown children need to experience such responsibilities as paying off their own bills and being personally and financially accountable for their own actions or they will remain forever reliant on mom and dad, (or grandma and grandpa), and that is far from what being an adult is about. There are psychologists who go so far as to say that such pampering behaviors are a form of control.
Both my husband and I moved from our parent's homes at a young age. Both of us worked hard, and for the most part, supported ourselves. When I couldn't afford something, I did without it. I suppose I could have ran and asked my parent's, but I wanted to prove to them, and more importantly, myself, that I was responsible enough to handle my own affairs. The sweet result was that the self-sufficiency made me appreciate everything I worked for all the more. I didn't wear brand name clothes, or eat filet mignon, but the self-respect and confidence which came as a result was worth more than gold!
This Daily Wisdom is not about advising parents to not be there for their grown children when they really need it because there are times in life we ALL need a helping hand and shoulder to cry on. However, just as there is a time when we must encourage our children to stand on their own, so too does God require each of us to come to Him willingly and lovingly, not out of coercion or guilt, but of our genuine desire to have a one-on-one relationship with our Creator.
Stand, and walk forward. God is waiting for you.
Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2005 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living: A Christian marriage manual and Life-guide", "Son Salutations" and "Daily Contemplations", which are a collection of read-one-a-day modern inspirations. For more information, visit home
