How to be energized! I was thinking about someone who, to my understanding, does not; like me, care about me, want anything to do with me, and only speaks to me because its polite. I now some of you have been there, unable to shake thoughts of that unreceptive crush, the nonchalant ex, the former friend, people you used to "mess around" with. And you end up feeling so out of it because you have already established that you allowed this person to do you more harm than good. Any who, I'm talking to God like "Why is this happening? What did I do?" Then I was like "God, help me to understand that I made stupid decisions, but it is not his fault." That didn't help, I was still out of it. I was still so out of it that I went to go get gas, paid for the gas, and did not realize that I drove off without getting gas until I was about to get my lunch. Which was after I finally did what I needed to do. I said "God, I thank you that you are strength in my weakness," My mouth was filled with praise and I went from thinking about him to thinking about Him. As I spoke the word of God, my brain fog lifted, I had energy again, I was awake, because God did it. It was then I remembered that, forgot to get the gas that I paid for, but I didn't care; God had lifted me from a miserable fog and I was free again! So I share this with you because God's word (i.e. Jesus) truly is life and health and strength if you are willing to receive Him; if you are not, you are basically doing the equivalent of taking a cool bath because you are thirsty. Now, because I am in perfect peace, (for my mind is on God) I really don't care about what he is thinking about, doing saying, the fact that I cried over him, prayed for him, tried to keep my life open for him, and didn't get the return on my investment that I thought I wanted (granted, he basically taught me a lot of things that I would need to change before being in a relationship) And with that in mind. I really do not want to be married. A person who is married has to think about the desires and concerns of another person. To me, that means, that I have to open myself to more out of it headaches... Now if God thinks that me being married would be useful for his kingdom then Amen Lord, but if I can remain without it, ...Yeah... no thank you... I'd rather have Jesus.