laterunner
Member
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 245
1. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few woman admit their age; few men act it
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usualy the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach .
30. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
35. DNA: National Dyslexic Association.
36. If a first you don't succed, destroy all evidence that you need.
37. I wonder how deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39. DARE to keep cops off donuts.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don't find it hard to meet expences. They're everywhere.
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
46. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was puched.
48. National Atheist's Day: Apr 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.56. I used to think I was indecisive,
but now I'm not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you're there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.61. Gravity always
gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation.
64. They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
65. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
67. The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
69. The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened!
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Depite the cost of living, have noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
76. Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic-10 out of 10 die.
79. Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few woman admit their age; few men act it
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usualy the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach .
30. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
35. DNA: National Dyslexic Association.
36. If a first you don't succed, destroy all evidence that you need.
37. I wonder how deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39. DARE to keep cops off donuts.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don't find it hard to meet expences. They're everywhere.
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
46. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was puched.
48. National Atheist's Day: Apr 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.56. I used to think I was indecisive,
but now I'm not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you're there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.61. Gravity always
gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation.
64. They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
65. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
67. The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
69. The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened!
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Depite the cost of living, have noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
76. Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic-10 out of 10 die.
79. Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
