I've been married for 24 years, and I have three boys ages 18, 20, and 22. My marriage has not been perfect, but we have always had a love that has remained strong through everything. My depression and low self-esteem has been an issue, but I have done the best I can in dealing with that. The biggest issue between us has been the condition of our house. My husband has started many projects in the house and not finished them. An addition was put on the house years ago, and never finished. He also has a lot of stuff. The amount of stuff has greatly increased over the years as he acquired more, and as we ended up with his Dad's stuff. Our house was small to begin with, which is why we needed the addition. Anyway, the condition of the house has been a source of embarrassment for me, as well as being crowded. It has never bothered him, however. We have had so many fights over this, and I never get anywhere. He just always turns things around to be my fault - I'm choosing to look at the negative, I'm bringing up old stuff he can't do anything about, etc. Well, I've finally come to the point of trying to accept the fact that he is a hoarder and all that goes along with that. On top of that I have realized just how much my boys dislike their father. At least two out of the three don't want anything to do with him. It was so important to me to raise my children in a healthy, happy home, and I really thought we weren't doing too badly at that. Now it seems I have to face the fact that I have not done that. In fact I must have really had blinders on all these years regarding the kind of person my husband is. Has everything I have thought about him been a lie? I just don't know how to go on living with him and even communicating with him knowing how the boys feel about him. He seems to think everything is fine. I love him, but there are certain things I just can't continue to put up with, and I don't picture him changing or even admitting to any fault in the situation. The future is not looking good at all right now. If you have gotten this far, thank you. I just need to talk to someone about this so badly. I am having trouble functioning at this point.